Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Goonette?!? Lord Jesus, Help Us All.

I don't usually put links up here that drive traffic to other websites, especially when it's just as easy to embed a video link here. But I'll make two exceptions, and both send you to YouTube and not embed the video (it's safe for work, but in poor taste) here for this very special occasion. Please go watch, and provided you haven't thrown your laptop out the window, return here to comment. Don't get antsy waiting for Plies to stop talking, just fast forward to the 2 minute mark and feel your brain cells disintegrate.

Ladies and Gents, with no further adieu, I present to you... "Goonette".

I happen to know a bit about Mr. Plies. He grew up in the same Ft. Myers, FL "complex" as my aunt. As recently as 3 years ago, dude still lived with his mother and grown-assed brother, in the same tiny duplex, but he had the flyest "donk" ever to grace 4 wheels parked right out front, and routinely paid neighborhood kids to wipe it down. I never personally met the guy (although I saw him all the time) on my visits there, but according to my aunt (who used to babysit him) he is one of the nicest, kindest, more articulate guys you'll ever meet. I am somewhat ashamed to admit it, but one of my nephews is actually in one of his earlier videos. No, I will not tell which one. Don't ask.

Even odder, Plies has a college degree from FAMU. And went on an academic scholarship. I mean, listen to this Negro, he is actually very "articulate".

I can only surmise that such idiocy as "Goonette" is little more than a publicity stunt that exploits this poor young lady (assuming she finds it demeaning, which is debatable), and just happens to coincide with the release of the cRapper's latest album. It's certainly not an upcoming reality show. Not anymore than "Bust It Baby", a similar stunt last year, was. But we're talkin' about it so...

Clearly, this is a guy who's found a hustle and is laughing all the way to the bank. Does that make him any different than, say, Bo$$, the 90's era gangsta girl rapper who came from an affluent suburban two-parent household and had a private school music education? Or for that matter, 90% of all cRappers, who aren't anything like their stage personas? Not really. You could argue that this make this guy a lot smarter than the rest of us.

I don't know if that makes Plies a SmartDumb N*gga or what? You tell me.

Question: What percentage of rappers would you estimate are truly like their stage personas? Is Plies smart, or dumb for running this transparent game? Do you have anything to say after watching that video? Anything?

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