[Editor's Note: After 2 weeks on the road, I'm finally back in the office and busy today, so The Uppity Negro has the floor. Warning! NC-17 Rated content ahead, including an audio clip that prolly isn't safe for work!]
I was reminded of an odd phenomenon recently from over winter break and I had my friends over for my now decade plus annual Kwanzaa get-together and out of about ten or twelve friends, the issue of relationships black men vs. black women inevitably arose. And one of my friends, the Jack and Jill type, fifth generation of HBCU educated young women said that she had had a “gangsta boo” before and started laughing as she said it.
Now anyone who knew her knew for a fact that she was NOT going to bring her “gangsta boo” home to her parents—AT ALL! So she had snagged some tall uber-masculine d-boy. I went off on my normal diatribe about how all black women just wanted the thugs and the flashy cars and ultimately just wanted a status symbol on their arm, even if it was a hood status symbol. Anyways, the conversation progressed and we decided on going out bar hopping, or at least the famous South Side Negro attraction of the Hyde Park Bar Louie’s for drinks and probably some hot wings.
Well, I had to pick up Uppity Negress from work that night, so all of us met in the parking lot of the store where she worked which was just around the corner, so while we were trying to coordinate and everything, I was outside talking with the males in the group. And then my friend, who I’ve known since kinny-garten, said, “I don’t like the b*&$#.” And I just thought it was the general “I don’t like her cuz she bougie” type which all of my friends say about her. I asked him why and his response was “I aint like that whole gangsta boo s#$% she was talkin’ about. All she needed to say was that the nigga knew how to lay the pipe.”
And I was so dumbstruck.
Now aside from the fact that he’s the son of a judge and a teacher, and that he probably wants to be a “gangsta boo” to some chick, but I wondered if this phenomena is really true. Do women stay with a bad guy just because the sex is great?
I mean, I’ve heard that reason used a few times. But think about it, why in the world would a woman stay with a no good man? All the man does is sit at the house, barely holds a job, is possibly abusive? I mean, let’s use the famous pop culture movie of Baby Boy when Yvette would always try and get rid of Jodie, but Jodie would come around and PUT IT DOWN! I think usually we make a euphemism out of it all just say “women just want to have a man around” when it really means the sex is good.
Street committee says Chris Brown is….um….well….yeah, I’m sure y’all get what I’m not gonna say because I heard this was a family blog, but yeah, let’s just say he wouldn’t be calling “ExtenZe” any time soon and I’ve heard some theories that when he allegedly tried to break up with Rihanna she was like no. Let’s just say that postulation is true, we know for a fact that she went back to him—why? Could it possibly be because the sex was just that good?
I mean, has anyone heard of Alexyss Tylor before?
The weird thing is that I’m not convinced men operate like this. As far as I know, the men that I know that have a tendency to, as my friend says, “put chicks on my team” and kinda just do their thing, don’t worry about keeping a chick like that. Take Jodie for instance in the movie, he knew that the sex was good with Yvette, and moreover, he knew he was puttin’ it down, but he was still messing with some other chick.
I’m just curious if women really do this: a) get a dude who’s only good for the sex, but not the marrying type? b) Get mad in a break-up situation because the sex was good and now you can’t have anymore? To the men I’m curious if you’ve ever been in a situation where you were the “gangsta boo” or broken up with a lady friend and you knew that you had her hooked.
Or is this just proof positive why we should all wait till we’re married?
Question: Is sex worth staying in a relationship especially if you know it’s not about to be a long-term relationship? Have you ever stayed in a relationship because it was just that good? What would your advice be to those women who stay in a relationship because the sex is good?