Monday, March 23, 2009

TeeVee That Doesn't Suck.

With two kids, I don't get to watch much TeeVee nowadays. Most of what I see comes after hours. Once the kids and wife are retired for the night, I fire up the Tivo and try to catch up. The problem in, since most of what's on TV now sucks, there isn't much worth watching.[1] But here's a handful of shows that you might wanna add to your Season Pass.

Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed

I'm not a good sport when it comes to magicians. The engineer in me always needs to know how something works. I remember ruining my neighborhood Children's Day a few years ago by standing to the off side of the magician hired to entertain the kids and mumbling "oooh, it's a fix, I see the rabbit right there under the table!" under my breath the whole time. My wife didn't speak to me for days afterward. Yeah, I can be a jerk sometimes.

Anyways, MyNetworkTV's Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed is just what it sounds like. Each week, dozens of tricks are outed, which admittedly isn't as exciting as it sounds. What's unintentionally funny is how the stalkerish host who does the voiceovers turns the whole show into really weird softcore pRon by making unnecessary comments about the magician's comely assistants. Either way, I could think of far worse abuses of your precious time. Like watching a Washington NBA Franchise game.[2]

Hannity's Great American Panel

Like most Great Americans, I dislike Sean Hannity with a religious fervor. But now that he's freed from his liberal sidekick Alan Colmes, Hannity's eponymous solo show on Fox News is oddly entertaining in a trainwreck sorta way. The show is typical Conservative blather, but it's Great American Panel segment, which comes on about midway through the 1 hour program, is about as close to "must see TV" as you'll see on The Station Everyone Hates. They take 3 random folks, usually a liberal, a Conservative, and a clueless entertainer, and the whole thing usually dissolves into a pointless shouting match.

If you watch that clip closely, you'll see Rebb'n Al's pimp hand shaking furiously as Michelle Bachmann talks her usual batsh*t crazy nonsense.

Wife Swap

ABC's Wife Swap isn't a new show by any means, but I just discovered it recently and that ish' is hilarious. If you were unaware, Wife Swap takes two wives of dramatically different families (one usually strict, the other excessively laid back) and has them trade places and families for two weeks.

I know it sounds sh*tty on paper, and it's about 90% scripted, but I just cannot turn away from white folks actin' a damn fool on TV. Note to ABC: make more "white folks actin' a damn fool" shows, please.

Renovation Realities

I am addicted to home improvement shows, but most of them get old after awhile because they're so obviously scripted for maximum dramatic effect. DIY's newest offering, Renovation Realities is as basic and "real" as they come. No manufactured drama. No Weekend Warriors who actually do renovations for a living. No production assistants secretly doing all the work off camera. No flipping. No Ty Pennington (thank you Jesus!).

Just real, honest to goodness home renovations by pure amateurs. The folks do all the work themselves, they show the actual amount of money spent, and most of the time, they actually end up unable to finish the renovation. Granted, this show is an acquired taste, but if it's your sorta thing, you'll like it.

Question: Have you seen any of the aforementioned shows? Other than scripted dramas and bullsh*t reality trash (ie: VH1), is there any other show you'd recommend I add to Season Pass?

[1] And before some smart alek types it, yes damnit, I do read books! Lots of em'. You can indeed both watch TeeVee and read books. They're not mutually exclusive. It's possible to be reasonably well-rounded. Save the pithy comments.

[2] Nope, I still won't refer to them by their nickname on this blog until they win the NBA lottery and draft Blake Griffin. If that doesn't happen, they may be banished from for good.

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