Thursday, February 19, 2009

What Would You Do? : Return The Ring?!?

Okay, a few weeks ago, we talked about my missing wedding band. Despite your many well-wishes, nobody turned this in to lost and found at my gym, and I've since bought a cheap everyday ring to replace it. Consider that story a wrap. But since we're on the topic of rings, and since the last post got a surprising number of comments, why not go to the well one mo' gin'?!?

For most guys, buying a wedding ring is the costliest purchase of their lives. It also happens to be the more excruciating, because lets face it: no dude wants to spend a grip and not have his fiancee pleased. That would truly suck!

AverageSis and I did some window shopping during an unrelated trip to the Philly Diamond District, so I knew exactly what sorta ring to buy when I popped the question. Still, it was easily the biggest check I'd written at the time, and that's saying something considering I'd already owned a house. Thankfully, she accepted (obviously), and the ring (and our marriage) has stood the test of time.[1] I'm proud to say that even though the style of ring wasn't exactly my choice, it's a great looking piece of jewelry that still garners her compliments and gawks from strangers.

Yes, that is the sound of a happily married man bragging.

Anyways, since I Tivo and watch all these judge shows, a common scenario when folks break up is whether or not the woman should return the ring out of courtesy, or keep it because it's a gift. I've thankfully never had to deal with such a dilemma, but I'll go on record as saying that sometimes the woman should consider returning it.
If the woman breaks off the engagement for any reason: return the ring.

If the woman gets cold feet and "wants to take some time to figure it all out": return the ring.

If the woman cheats: return the ring.

If the ring is a family heirloom that was given to him by his ailing Nana on her deathbed: return the ring.

If the woman suddenly decides to leave the man for his line brother: return the ring.
Otherwise, I say she gets to keep it. It goes without saying that if a man is still running the streets, fathers a baby out of wedlock, gets busted on MySpace with her line sister, or any other such nonsense: she keeps the ring.

A good question for the ladies would be, why exactly do you wanna keep the ring? True, it's a piece of jewelry, but why would you wanna wear something that sends a clearly mixed message (ie: I'm wearing a wedding ring, but unattached) to potential suitors? Why would you want a constant reminder of the loser who left you for that Redskinette? Even if you pawn it for cash, does it make up for the emotional toll of the years you wasted with said loser? Again, I understand keeping something out of spite, but what logical sense does it make?

Question: What would you do? Ladies, under what circumstances would you keep/return the ring? Fellas, under what circumstances would you let her keep the ring, or ask for it back?

[1] Although, I should note, she wants an upgrade for the 10th anniversary.

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