Thursday, December 11, 2008

DC Sports Fan = L-O-S-E-R.

Sometimes being a sports fan is bad for your health. And if you happen to live in DC and are trying to cheer for any of it's many teams, you prolly should schedule your annual physical right now.

My Wizards are toast. The season is already over, and it's barely a month in. The team, which made the playoffs the past 4 seasons is sitting near the bottom of the league with a measly four wins versus 15 losses.

Perhaps worse than losing is how the team is losing. They're falling behind by huge deficits early, clawing their way back into games, then blowing it with defensive lapses and poor shot selection in the final moments. Yes, injuries to Gilbert Arenas (above, immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds) and Brendan Haywood are partially to blame, but that's no excuse for being dead last in the LEastern Conference. Injuries have zilch to do with not being able to defend a freakin' pick and roll.

We get scored on more than SuperHead Lindsay Lohan.

You folks know the disdain I harbor for bandwagon fans. But after more than a decade of buying tickets, jerseys, overpriced Sprites (seriously, $6 at Verizon Center) and cheering for this pathetic team, I'm considering jumping ship and just saying "who cares?" Reality is, the ownership is too cheap to invest in a winner, and as presently constituted, this team is going nowhere but back to the lottery.

Perhaps worse (in some ways) are the Redskins, who lulled us into false expectations with a quick start to the season, only to come falling back to Earth as they usually do. This descent was punctuated the other night's a$$ whipping by the Ravens. Losing anything to anyone from Baltimore is inexcusable. Losing to a team dressed like Any Given Sunday extras is just triflin'.

Peep the real-life Willie Beamens. Now that's B'More Style at it's finest!!!

Seriously, black on black? Except for Pop Warner squads, who wears this sorta crap?

The Redskins' problem is the opposite of the Wizards'. Their owner is all about the profits and spends wild and recklessly on big name players who don't fit. The results don't matter so long as he gets his investment back tenfold. Eff' winning. Daniel Synder is laughin' straight to the bank wit' dis' (ha ha ha haaaaaa) every Monday morning when he counts the gate receipts. Seriously, $40 to park in a suburban stadium? C'mon man, that's just wrong.

Either way, with a rookie coach, a battered offensive line, and a QB who keeps proving that he's not NFL-quality, this squad is going nowhere. Yeah, they're technically still in the playoff race, so anything's possible. But me hookin' up with Halle Berry is also possible. That don't make it likely.

Further down the line[1], the Nationals baseball team won't spend money on players and fields a Double-A caliber team that was MLB's worst in years. The Mystics are thisclose to joining the Houston Comets on the disbanded list. DC United didn't even make the playoffs this year. Since they're the only winning outfit in town (1600 Penn Ave. team included) I suppose I should be elated about Ovie and The Caps, but c'mon, how many brothers do you know watching hockey other than for the fisticuffs?[2]


I guess we've always got Obama to cheer for.

Question: Is it ever acceptable to abandon ship on your favorite team?

[1] On a lighter note, Georgetown looks awesome, but I'm already a fan of the awesomer UNC Tarheels, so I don't really care.

[2] All conjecture aside, I'm sorta warming up to Ovechkin and Co.

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