Thursday, December 11, 2008

DC Sports Fan = L-O-S-E-R.

Sometimes being a sports fan is bad for your health. And if you happen to live in DC and are trying to cheer for any of it's many teams, you prolly should schedule your annual physical right now.

My Wizards are toast. The season is already over, and it's barely a month in. The team, which made the playoffs the past 4 seasons is sitting near the bottom of the league with a measly four wins versus 15 losses.

Perhaps worse than losing is how the team is losing. They're falling behind by huge deficits early, clawing their way back into games, then blowing it with defensive lapses and poor shot selection in the final moments. Yes, injuries to Gilbert Arenas (above, immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds) and Brendan Haywood are partially to blame, but that's no excuse for being dead last in the LEastern Conference. Injuries have zilch to do with not being able to defend a freakin' pick and roll.



We get scored on more than SuperHead Lindsay Lohan.

You folks know the disdain I harbor for bandwagon fans. But after more than a decade of buying tickets, jerseys, overpriced Sprites (seriously, $6 at Verizon Center) and cheering for this pathetic team, I'm considering jumping ship and just saying "who cares?" Reality is, the ownership is too cheap to invest in a winner, and as presently constituted, this team is going nowhere but back to the lottery.

Perhaps worse (in some ways) are the Redskins, who lulled us into false expectations with a quick start to the season, only to come falling back to Earth as they usually do. This descent was punctuated the other night's a$$ whipping by the Ravens. Losing anything to anyone from Baltimore is inexcusable. Losing to a team dressed like Any Given Sunday extras is just triflin'.



Peep the real-life Willie Beamens. Now that's B'More Style at it's finest!!!

Seriously, black on black? Except for Pop Warner squads, who wears this sorta crap?

The Redskins' problem is the opposite of the Wizards'. Their owner is all about the profits and spends wild and recklessly on big name players who don't fit. The results don't matter so long as he gets his investment back tenfold. Eff' winning. Daniel Synder is laughin' straight to the bank wit' dis' (ha ha ha haaaaaa) every Monday morning when he counts the gate receipts. Seriously, $40 to park in a suburban stadium? C'mon man, that's just wrong.

Either way, with a rookie coach, a battered offensive line, and a QB who keeps proving that he's not NFL-quality, this squad is going nowhere. Yeah, they're technically still in the playoff race, so anything's possible. But me hookin' up with Halle Berry is also possible. That don't make it likely.

Further down the line[1], the Nationals baseball team won't spend money on players and fields a Double-A caliber team that was MLB's worst in years. The Mystics are thisclose to joining the Houston Comets on the disbanded list. DC United didn't even make the playoffs this year. Since they're the only winning outfit in town (1600 Penn Ave. team included) I suppose I should be elated about Ovie and The Caps, but c'mon, how many brothers do you know watching hockey other than for the fisticuffs?[2]



Exactly.

I guess we've always got Obama to cheer for.

Question: Is it ever acceptable to abandon ship on your favorite team?

[1] On a lighter note, Georgetown looks awesome, but I'm already a fan of the awesomer UNC Tarheels, so I don't really care.

[2] All conjecture aside, I'm sorta warming up to Ovechkin and Co.

17 AverageComments™:

the uppity negro said...

Hell nah!

Chicago still supports the Cubs, support the Wizards bruh! I mean if you jump ship you gotta do it in the off season.

Kirby said...

AB,
Take it from a life long Cubs fan; a black life long Cubs fan who lives on the South Side at that; you can't let other peoples incompetence detour or alter your fandom. It is never ok to abandon ship on your favorite team. You can't call your self a fan and lose faith after one bad season. It takes character to continue to believe and support your squad when others around you constantly remind you how much your squad sucks or that your squad is cursed, I hate that fucking Goat. Anybody can jump on a bandwagon when a squad starts to win(think 05 White Sox), but you enjoy it a lot more when you've seen your squad develop over time. At least that's what I tell my self every spring. GO CUBS GO!!!

AverageBro said...

@ Kirby

Just to clarify, I've financially and emotionally supported this team for almost 13 years now. I'm definitely not losing faith after one bad season that's not over. This is sorta a cumulative thing that's been gathering over time and the loss to the Bulls the other night was the final straw.

I don't have any personal frame of reference, but abandoning your team is like leaving an unhealthy relationship. You keep hoping things will get better, but in your heart, you know they ain't. At some point, for your own sanity, you have to throw in the towel. I'm nearing that point. Yeah, it is as pathetic as is reads.

That said, much like an unhealthy relationship, I can't see myself lovin' (cheering for) nobody else. It's like I'm stuck if I leave, stuck if I stay. Still stuck. Only a true fan would know what this feels like, and the way you stan for the Cubs tells me you're a true fan.

The team pulled off a minor trade to shake up the backcourt yesterday, so maybe I'll give them another week.

@ Uppity

Jumping in the offseason? Explain that theory. I guess that would be sorta like packing your bags and leaving while your sig other is away at work, as opposed to having "the breakin' up" convo, huh?

Yeah, I need to go to bed. Celts hit town tomorrow night. We'll see what happens.

the uppity negro said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

This blog isnt ready for my take on relationships, so I'm not touching on the veracity of that particular analogy....

buuuuuuut....

I do feel that once you see what the teams are offering going into October that one should feel free to root for a different team if you feel the players'll make the most difference on the court throughout the season. But thats only for favorite teams per your question.

But, I dont think one can ever abandon home teams ever. its just something built into people that are born and raised in their cities.

Marrio TheBlackGuy said...

As a life long Raider fan, I would be a liar if I said it hadn't crossed my mind to jump ship. That being said I didn't and won't ever leave my team. A team/fan relationship is much like marriage, some good times, some bad times. It's the love that keeps you together. Just take pleasure in rooting against the teams that have beaten your team. I am now enjoying the lifestyle of a professional hater. When your a PRO HATER, even if your team loses you win, there is always some other team to hate.

Ciara said...

Okay, AB...I was in the same position with the Eagles about three weeks ago.

After that BMore lost (I think the Black/Black jersey are hot, but whatever),I was completely done with my squad. I was calling for everyone to get fired, McNabb to get traded. Rebuilt. I swore to myself that I was never going to watch them again. I was pissed off. When you know that your team is better than what they show every Sunday, you can only scream at the TV, cuss out a Cowboys fan or slam doors for so long. When I tell you I was done, I was DONE.

But even through all of that, I knew that I was still down for my squad. Being a fan means supporting your team through the best and the worst. There are days when I want to choke Andy Reid out but I know that one Sunday, I'm riding for my squad.

I didn't mean to write this like a damn testimonial LOL! But stay with the Wiz and Skins...I need something to laugh at when I go home...

AverageSister-In-Law said...

YES!!! ABANDON SHIP -- NOW!!! And take AverageOlderBrother with you!! I appreciate you guys having adopted the DC teams since moving to the U-reah 10+ years ago. And I partially credit your enthusiasm to the fact that you grew up in NC where college teams rule and the Panthers and that Charlotte NBA team (whatever the heck they're called) weren't around in your youth. But guys, it's time to give it up. The Wizards are just maintaining the "Curse of the Bullets" and the Skins tank year after year. I'm afraid the haydays of the late '70's (when the Cap Ctr was the spot) and early 80's (when we danced in the streets after the Superbowl wins) are long gone, never to return. So please save AverageSis and I from having to listen to you snort and "boo" on any given Sunday and stop wasting your money on going to those sorry Wizards games- your kids' and your nephew's 529 plans could always use the extra funds. Whew. Just had to get that off my chest...LOL!!

cjames30082 said...

@AB
Those teams are perenially crappy but at least the Skins have an owner who is committed to winning. Winning = cash so I am sure he wants to win. The wizards, along with my adopted step-team the Hawks will live in the NBA basement forever. Every once in a while they will peek their heads out and make a 4 - 5 seed in the playoffs, then fizzle out in the 2nd round. That's our NBA Championship. That's all their is.

The Skins have a chance of being great as long as Jason Campbell continues to progress. If you have a solid quarterback you can fill the other gaps through the draft and free agency to field a decent team.

The Nationals, well it's baseball so until they change the revenue sharing they will be with KC Royals and the San diego Padres.

The Capitals, who give a flip?

@AB man don't listen to Average Sis In Law. She'll just bring ya down.

AverageBro said...

@ Mario

Honestly, I never quite crossed into the "professional hater" stage of fandom. I suppose that's the next level of progression for me, and I don't like the sound of it.

Man, considering how turrible the Raiders are, your comment actually makes me feel GOOD about my team. Sheez.

But you're right, fan/team is a relationship full of ups and downs.

@ Ciara

I just knew you couldn't resist. I'm still trying to figure out how you're from DC, but aren't a Redskins/Cowboys fan. That's pretty amazing.

And those B-More black-on-black unis (like the gold and black Wizards alternates) are an affront to professional sportsmanship.

@ AverageSisInLaw

Yeah, The Curse is in full effect. AOB and I will have some real health issues if we keep this up.

@ CJames

The wizards, along with my adopted step-team the Hawks will live in the NBA basement forever. Every once in a while they will peek their heads out and make a 4 - 5 seed in the playoffs, then fizzle out in the 2nd round. That's our NBA Championship. That's all their is.

Sad, but prolly true. And pathetic. Seriously, why bother buying a team if you don't want to invest the money needed to win. It's not a hobby, it's a competition. The aim it to win, not just show up.

The Nats official line is that they're about to spend some money this winter. They are looking at making a whopping $200M offer for Mark Teixera. I wouldn't know Mark Teixera if he walked in my office right now, but they finally realize you have to spend to win. Snyder just spends to make more money.

boboso said...

No, AB, I don't think it's ever right to abandon your home team unless they pull up stakes, move out of the area, and abandon their fan base first.

It might help you to occasionally remind yourself that teams can and do improve, even after years of bottom-dwelling. One need look no further than my beloved Celtics (they're visiting the Wiz tonight, in fact, hoping to secure the win that'll give them the best start ever for the franchise), my Patriots and, to a lesser degree, my Red Sawx. Even through the lean years, it's important to continue to support your favorite teams. But cheering for an additional team or two that may actually have a chance at post-season play is perfectly acceptable, too.

Go Celts!

MsNegroEquire said...

@AB

I see that you have fallen into the DC sports fan trap. As a Baltimorean by birth and MoCo resident by choice I have seen it many times. A common symptom is the belief that DC sports should be better than Baltimore sports. I will remind you, like I remind my delusional Redskins loving uncle, the Redskins last won the Superbowl in 1992--George H.W. Bush was president, L.A. Riots had not even begun, and "2 Legit 2 Quit" was a hit.

Baltimore did not even HAVE a team in 1992 (RIP Baltimore Colts). In the meantime, Baltimore got a team, built one of the best defenses of all time(more than once), won a Superbowl and continues to make the playoffs. Even their stadium is better (those scoreboards at FedEx are really a shame).

DC folks are infamous for this type of DC v. B-more class warfare. Like people who live in South East and talk about how bad Baltimore is because of The Wire--um...they live in SE!!!

As for jumping ship, where would you jump? Although the Phillies won the WS this year, their sports are not much better and everywhere else is too far to see games lives consistently. Face it, we are on a geographical sports island.

As for the all black Ravens uniforms. Would you prefer they wear the purple pants?

Ed The Sports Fan said...

AB,

Let ETSF paint a picture for you in 3 parts...

#1. TRADE ANTAWN JAMISON, you could get greatness for him. You need a point guard or a center....

#2. TELL ARENAS YOU ARE NOW A 2-GUARD, because as was the deal with Iverson, you're best player probably doesn't need to have the rock in his hands the most. Iverson was great when Eric Snow was the PG. Gilbert is the same way, let him be the 2 and get a defensive-minded, bigger-sized, 3 point shooting PG. Should've gotten Mo Williams when he was available or Devin Harris. There are others to be had.

#3. GET RID OF EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR CARON BUTLER...Maybe Javale McGee and Nick Young, because they're so young. I love DeShawn but he's replaceable. Or, let him play PG. Brendan Haywood is overachieving as a starter, he's great as a backup. Etan Thomas is a power forward playing center who should never start. Just start over.

There's my analysis. The Redskins are going to have to make a decision on Jason Campbell, but they've got to make that offense more amenable to easy plays. Drag routes, screens, vertical throws. Get COOLEY THE BALL!

Nationals - DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SIGN TEIXERA.

Capitals - You better get on that Ovechkin train quick. Federov is way too old but still good and Backstrom is very good and he just turned 21, are nice too. And watch out for Oskar Osala, might be the next phenom.

Ok i'm done with my DC sports knowledge, you probably need to just root for the Caps and just pray for next year.

GET AT ME!

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

AverageBro said...

@ Ed

You've actually got a pretty good read on my team. Are you sure you're not a closet Zards' fan?

It ain't too late to join the bandwagon. Plenty of great seats still available.

The Nats just offered Teixeira 8 yrs and $160M. He's likely just using them to run up his inevitable offer from the Red Sox, but it's good to see them pull out the checkbook for once. A brand new, empty stadium will do that I guess.

I was behind the Caps during that playoff run last Spring. If they keep it up, I may shell out some actual money and go see them in person.

Nice blog, BTW.

Ciara said...

@ AB: I was born and raised for a minute in Philly, so that's how I chose my loyalties.

I can't front, while I did grow up in the Urreah, I toyed with running with the Skins for a minute (I was a Penn State fanatic at the time and they had just drafted Arrington.) but then I couldn't let go of those Eagles even if I wanted to.

I don't get why there are a ton of Boys fans back home. That's I'm lost on.

AverageBro said...

@ Ciara

I don't get why there are a ton of Boys fans back home. That's I'm lost on.

I've got an easy answer for that one: because DC folks are extra spiteful and cheer for Dallas only to tick off Skins fans.

I didn't figure this out until it clicked last year. Some of these bamas can't tell you what state Dallas is in, but they're stans. It's all out of spite.

Thought said...

That was a nice game yesterday right. Mike Sellers fumbles at the 1 yard line, we have no passing game to speak of, and it seems that all the fans are chanting for Bill Cowher to come in and clean things up.

I don't even know what I want from the Redskins. I used to think it was something simple like a GM or a good coach or some pass rushers or some OL talent, you know the basics....but now I just think expecting to win is expecting too much.

And with the Wizards, they sure do know how to lose games...thats gotta count for something right?

AverageBro said...

@ Thought

"Caveman" Sellers should be cut for that nonsense. What kinda 285 lb fullback fumbles on the goal line?

Doesn't matter, I was off the bandwagon after that Steelers loss.

The Zards? Well, they can only get better from here, but the season is shot either way. I expect a major trade soon, but fans should just write this injury riddled season off and hope for good lottery pick (Blake Griffin) and the healthy return of Arenas and Haywood next season.

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