Monday, October 13, 2008

AverageBro NewsBriefs - Monday Morning QB Edition.

I've got my hands full with not one, but two sons while I'm off the next month. So here's all the news that's fit to blog, but not worthy of it's own post. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Is Obama Secretly An A-RABBB!?! - Let's keep it honest, John McCain isn't suddenly some honorable individual for "standing up to his supporters to defend Barack Obama". He only did so because he was asked such a stoopid question as the one that follows and couldn't be caught on tape co-signing such nonsense.

What A Weekend For Palin! - So, homegirl gets found guilty of abusing power when she fired that one cat who wouldn't fire her ex-brother in law. Lucky for Sarah, this verdict came down on a Friday night, and is already out of the news cycles. After that whole "bridge to nowhere" debacle, selling the jet on Ebay, and now this, she effectively has zero accomplishments to stand on, other than those of her running mate.

Oh yeah, she went to a hockey game, and the fine people of Philly greeted America's most famous Hockey Mom, City of Brotherly Love Style. I knew Broad Street was rough, but good lawd!

Can we just nod in agreement that this was the worst Veep selection Evar? Ok, cool.

John Lewis Should Really Just Shut Up - I wasn't around during the days of George Wallace, so I can't say whether John Lewis is going overboard with hyperbole or merely speaking the truth that he witnessed firsthand. But reality is, any calling out of racist behavior needs to be done by white campaign surrogates, if at all, not ex-civil rights leaders.

Yes, of course the Palin/McCain ticket is stoking racial fires, but we should let those Americans who are still undecided make this conclusion for themselves. By putting the issue front and center, you give the McCain campaign yet another baseless reason for claiming that the Obama campaign is playing the race card, thus making themselves victims. Talk about When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong.

Redskins, Deadskins - So, you beat Dallas and Philly on the road. You've won 4 straight for your best start in years. You come home to the nation's Capitol with folks talking Super Bowl. And how do you respond? By losing to an 0-4 Rams squad and turning the ball over 3 times after not having done so all season.

And yeah, I'm off the bandwagon.

Monta Ellis Is An Idiot - So, imagine this: You're 21 years old and after 3 years in the league, your team hands you a $70M contract and anoints you the franchise savior. What do you do to celebrate? Buy a moped (who still rides these?), fall off of it injuring your knee, lie to the team about it being a "pickup basketball injury", and finally fess us once the medical reports prove otherwise. The Golden State Warriors decided to suspend Monta Ellis for 30 games, which is just dumb, considering that he would have missed the 30 games with his injury anyway. Sure, he won't be paid, but he'll also miss the whole point of why he was suspended in the first place. That said, I hope the kid returns healthy so we can see more highlights like these.

GM/Chrysler Merger - Man, I never thought I'd see the day. What's next? Coke merging with Pepsi? Is the NBA going to combine the Celtics and Lakers rosters? 50 Cent and The Game reuniting? Truly a sign of the times.

Levi/Bristol Baby Watch - Yeah, this is trivial, but Yahoo had some story about Bristol Palin's much misunderstood "fiance" Levi Johnston. Turns out dude has now dropped out of high school and gotten a job as an electrician to care for his seed to be. The infamous MySpace page was allegedly a joke his friends played on him. He also says it ain't a shotgun wedding, he's been bonin' dating Bristol since was was a Freshman, and he's planning on getting married next Summer. Anyone who says the Associated Press is in the tank for liberals should take a gander at this puff piece and shut the hell up from now on out. I couldn't imagine a similar story being written about two black teenagers expecting a baby. And yes, that sh*t is racist.

Question: Got anything to say about the above NewsBriefs?

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