Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Could She Be President? Jesus Help Us...

...if Cotton Hill McCain meets an untimely demise and Tina Fey Sarah Palin somehow becomes leader of the free world. Cause if it goes down like that, we are soooo screwed.

I'm sitting in my hotel watching live coverage of a townhall meeting in Grand Rapids, MI on Fox News.[1] This woman must have Cheez Whiz for brains. Someone in the audience asked her a question about the energy crisis, offshore drilling and oil production, which is allegedly her area of expertise.

She proceeded to recite the GOP Talking Points 101 Flashcards she's been cramming to memorize for weeks, and midway through her explanation, she clearly drew a blank. She then proceeded to "freestyle" her answer, which sounded something like this.

You could literally see John McCain thinking "awww sh*t! I knew I shoulda picked Romney" as he rushed in to grab the mic , cut her off, and completed the thought she so terribly fumbled.

Palin, looking visibly flustered, simply took a few steps back and assumed the usual position.[2] I actually did feel momentarily sad for the woman.

[Editor's Update: I also happened to catch her circle jerk interview with Sean Hannity. He tossed softballs and kept staring at her legs the entire time. Very creepy.]


In a perfect world, Sarah Palin's only future relevance would be on the back of a Trivial Pursuit card, not one melanoma away from The Number One Spot. We've heard a lot about "empty suits". Can we all agree to just refer to Palin as an "empty skirt", or is that just me being incredibly sexist as usual?

Question: Did you see the Palin/McCain townhall I've speaking of? Did it frighten you as much as it did me?

[1] I guess I should get a Twitter account for short messages like this. Do any of you Twitter? Could you dumb-down and explain it to me?

[2] And by "usual position", I mean standing behind McCain, to his right side, looking smarmy and overdressed.

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