Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The RNC Night Three Recap: A Tough Act To Follow

Well, tonight was supposed to be Palin's night, but wouldn't you know it, a familiar face just had to show up and ruin the party.

Like last week, I'm not tuning in until AverageToddler's bathed and put to bed, so I missed some of the preliminaries.

Michael Steele is the GOP's version of "urban cool" which is beyond comical on too many levels to count here. Let's face it, this dude is L.A.M.E. He's suddenly morphed from the milquetoast Negro who once allegedly got Oreo cookies tossed at him in a Maryland debate, to Super Negro Republican™: The Poor Man's Obama. Negro please.

When he was introduced, the crowd broke into some clearly orchestrated, yet poorly executed "Go Steele!" chant. Steele responded by asking the crowd "Are you ready to party in this house tonight?" which clearly shows he's been revisiting his DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince cassette tapes lately. It was a display of uncoordinated arm-flailing only matched by the between-speech Earth Wind and Fire dance-a-thon seen moments later. Yes, it was as lame and pathetic as it sounds reading it.

Magic Mike then went on some tirade about guilt by association, which was clearly a dig at Rebb'n Wright. I'm not about to defend the good Rebb'n here, but c'mon Mike, that's a stretch ain't it? I know the PG County church you attend, so you prolly should just let that one ride. And besides, if it's all about guilt by association, wouldn't that make you an ear-chomping rapist? I'm just sayin'.

This guy should be nearing his 16th minute by now, but thanks to the lack of... uhmmm, color, in the GOP, he'll keep getting party jobs merely in exchange for being a grateful token. I guess this is necessary to uphold the illusion of conclusion. I only counted 5 blacks in tonight's audience, down from 7 last night. 6 if you count Steele, which I don't.

Mike Huckabee is one of the few GOP personalities I can actually stomach for more than a few minutes. He did the obligatory "Obama Sucks, McCain Roolz" speech, but in a manner that was respectful and stuck to party talking points. I don't agree with his stances, but I don't mind how he goes about stating them. The rest of the GOP could learn a thing or two.

Mitt Romney was longwinded, overpolished, and booooring. Not that this should surprise any of you who've listened to him prattle on and on in the past. It's so obvious this guy is still hella pissed about not getting change of address forms for 1600 Penn Ave. He did the good party thing and bashed Obama while bloviating over McCain's experience, but behind that spray-on tan and meticulous dye job, it's clear that there lies a cat who thinks he should still be Prez.

Rudy Guiliani came up next and I guess this marked the point where the convention actually became interesting. Man, did Rudy rip Barack a brand new anus or what?

Seriously, you wanna talk about taking off the gloves and "goin' in". He did that and thennnnn some. This cat must have been visiting for inspiration lately, cause he was extra greasy. Never mind the fact that Rudy didn't state any of McCain's solutions, his job was to bash Barry, and bash Barry he did.

This whole spectacle would have been enlightening had the guy delivering it not been so disgusting and despicable. A dude who marries his own cousin has no right telling anyone about judgement. A guy who announced his divorce to the newspapers has no right questioning the integrity of others. A guy whose own kids don't talk to him, and are voting for Obama themselves shouldn't be saying jack about family values.

Other than that, I'll admit, this was pretty fun to watch. Largely untruthful and completely lacking in substance, but not boring by any stretch. He even kept his obligatory "9/11" references count under 25. Bravo Rudy. The Gray's Papaya's on me.

Alaska Governor Tina Fey Sarah Palin came out to put a wrap on the evening. I won't lie, I was so distracted by her sqeaky NPR voice and the continual passing around of her son like a photo-op football that I quickly lost interest and started writing this recap.

I suppose her general countenance and willingness to go after Obama is going to endear her to her "base", but her speech did little to dispel the litany of holes in her "maverick" reputation. She too spouted more "smaller government" GOP talking points, although her pro-life stance on abortions was a blatant omission. Long on aggression, short on substance, absent of solutions. In other words, this lady's right at home.

[Editor's Note: BTW Tina, bashing the media is never a good idea, especially given the fact that you'll need these very same people to overlook the inherent contradictions in your personal record. I can't wait for your first appearance on Meet The Press. We'll see who's the "pitbull in lipstick" when you've gotta answer questions about something other than a "bridge to nowhere".]

It's blatantly obvious that these folks have no solutions and don't even intend to run on their "platform". They wanna sell you on false patriotism (as if only those who serve in the military love the country), and scare you into keeping them in office. McCain campaign manager Rick Davis even admitted as much yesterday.
Rick Davis, campaign manager for John McCain's presidential bid, insisted that the presidential race will be decided more over personalities than issues during an interview with Post editors this morning.

"This election is not about issues," said Davis. "This election is about a composite view of what people take away from these candidates."

Davis added that issues will no doubt play a major role in the decisions undecided voters will make but that they won't ultimately be conclusive. He added that the campaign has "ultimate faith" in the idea that the more voters get to know McCain and Barack Obama, the better the Republican nominee will do.
Well thanks for clearing that one up for us, Rick. At least you're being honest.

A few things really bug me about these GOP Talking Points, and I'm hoping you guys can help me out with them.

(1) The GOP keeps saying Palin, by virtue of being a small town mayor, and 18 months of Governor has more "executive experience" than Obama and Biden combined. If you define "executive experience" as having "run something", wouldn't that also make Palin more qualified than even John McCain, whose entire career has been spent in the Congress and Senate?

(2) The GOP is all about "less government". How then do they explain being "pro-life"? Isn't telling a woman what to do with her own body the epitome of "too much government"?

(3) The GOP is all about "fixing Washington". Are we supposed to forget that they've virtually controlled Washington since 2000? Uhhh, shouldn't something be "fixed" by now? Could they perhaps try "fixing" their own party before "fixing" the world?

(4) The GOP is all about "reining in government spending". Their main way of remedying the record deficit is by cutting earmarks and pork barrel projects? But isn't the $10B/month war that the GOP got us into the main reason for the deficit?

(5) How disingenuous is it to keep playing the "POW Card"? I admire John McCain's service to this country, but let's keep it 100. McCain's time in Hanoi is only notable because his father's name and position made him living, breathing propaganda. He was on TV and in the news practically every night during his 5 1/2 years is captivity, which is why there's so much footage of it. He used this exposure to catapult his political career. Yet he calls Obama a "celebrity"? Obama seems like the sort of person who became famous because he was already a politician. McCain became a politician because he was already famous. Not exactly the same. The Dems will never point of this idiocy of course. They don't roll like that.

Let's be real here, I'm a registered Democrat, but given my pending change of party affiliation, I have no reason to support them other than my wish for Obama to be President. Still, it's amazing the stark differences between the two parties. One lacks any teeth, the other is so obsessed with the superficial that it can't help knocking you over the head with it constantly.

After tonight's hatchet job, I totally get why so many people are apolitical.

Question: Did you watch the GOP Convention tonight? Are you as nauseated at this display of dishonesty as I am? Do you have answers for any of the questions I posed above?

McCain Manager: 'This Election is Not About Issues' - The Fix [WashPost]

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