[Editor's Note: My peoples at BlackAndMarriedWithKids have been on a roll lately, getting name dropped by everyone from Mo'Nique to Judge Lynn Toler. Don't hate, appreciate. Today, TheMom and TheDad weigh in on whether or not it takes male genitalia to raise a boy. Be nice hosts and show some love you-know-where.]
TheMom says: Did you see the movie Boyz N the Hood? The character played by Angela Bassett drops her son off at his father’s house, Laurence Fishburne, and tells him to teach him to be a man.
I have heard at least two times recently that a woman can not raise a son to be a man. That only a man can truly raise a boy into the man that he needs to be. I heard this topic being discussed a while back on the Michael Baisden radio show and I also heard someone say it during the State of the Black Union.
I do not totally agree with this statement. I think it may be harder for a woman to raise a boy into a man, but I do not think it is impossible. There are many good men out there that are good citizens, good husbands and fathers…and they were raised by single mothers. There are also good men out there that had fathers in the home that were there, but were not really there… meaning they worked a lot…or they just did not spend time with the kids.
TheDad says: My view is that a mom can raise a boy to be a man so the answer is yes but this is not without conditions. A lot depends on the strength of the mother, the strength of the child and the environment. I grew up in a single parent home 1 of 3 sons that my mother raised and we all turned out well without our father being in the picture.
Not having a father there in the house there are some things you're left to discover and learn on your own that you would have picked up earlier on by seeing it done or being taught it by a man but you can overcome this. Personally I think the most important part for women raising sons is having a positive male role model somewhere in the picture.
For me this person was my grandfather. I got a chance to see what a hardworking man that took care of his family looked like. I also got the love from him I may have been missing from my father. Now I didn't see him everyday so I still had to figure some things out but I feel between seeing him and watching the mistakes and accomplishments of my brothers I was able to be molded into the man I am today.
Question: AverageBro readers, what do you think? Can a woman raise a son to truly be a man?