Sunday, July 13, 2008

(Why) Do (Some) Black Women Love Thugs!?!?


Before ya'll jump down my throat for this one, peep the post title again.

I don't wanna burn too much on this, since it's been talked about ad nauseum on enough other blogs already, but Hollyweird lightweight Lauren London (ATL, This Christmas, and uhhh... what else has she been in?!?) recently sparked a minor controversy with some of her comments in the lad-mag King Magazine. When asked the type of guys she prefers, she responded with these words of sage wisdom and whatnot.

KING: So you want a man who’s both honest and thug?

London: An authentic gangsta—that deletes about half the rap game off your list. I love guys who are street. I won’t even give soft guys a chance. Menace II Society is my shit! Caine was like my first crush. Actually, O-Dog was my true dream guy. I was in love with him, from that opening scene where he pops the convenience-store worker. He had me from that gunshot [laughs]. He was ’hood, and I loved that.
Never mind the fact that Caine ended up dead on a sidewalk at the end of the movie, London (who always seems a few footlongs shy of a Quiznos) presents a sentiment that I've heard from lots of other brothers over the years.

My life as a single guy is distant history, so I'm pleading the fizzith on this one. But general reaction in the blogosphere from men has been that London's right, Black Women do like thugs and pass over more "positive" brothers, while many Black Women think Lauren's a bubblehead.

Since I'm an get-wit' and this is a lazy Sunday, I figure I'll leave this one up to you guys to debate.

Question: Does Lauren London have a point? Do Black women generally prefer thugs over more "upstanding" brothers or is she just speaking for herself? Fellas, assuming you're not a thug (and I doubt you are if you're a reader of this blog) do you find Black Women go for the flashy and gritty a bit too much?

Is Lauren London typical of today’s black woman? [SandraRose]

50 AverageComments™:

SingLikeSassy said...

Only somebody young and/or ig'nant would think a "thug" was relationship material. Somebody who hasn't learned the difference between what's good to you and what's good for you.

Peter Wilkins said...

I joke with my female friends and say they want an "ex-thug." Someone who can appreciate the grind, but can hold his own at a cocktail party. Either that, or a renaissance man. lol.

UTFO said it years ago in Roxanne Roxanne

"I know you educated, but when will you learn...not all girls want to be involved with bookworms....so educated rapper but this!"

ebw-educated black woman said...

You know what, in all honestly is isn't just black women... It's cliche but to some extent true..."good girls like bad boys".

Whether it was James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, or Sammy Davis and the Rat Pack,Pacino, or today's crop of "gansta" rappers, in Scarface...bad boys are romanticized by the media. Unfortunately, some women (blinded by the hype) find that attractive.
Neal Boortz (who I don't agree with often) always says women will give up freedom for security. So true. To some women these type of men represent power. They really feel like these crooked ass men will kill for them and provide for them as long as the stacks are coming in.

Women who think like this are delusional and often times don't realize the horrible choice they've made until the Feds come knocking at the door. (I also think these women somehow think they can reform these dudes.)

I know of plenty of sisters here in the ATL who have fallen victim. Including one who chose to have a child even as her man was facing time for cocaine possession with intent to distribute. WTF? This broad was walking around talking about having another baby when he got out.(All the while dragging the baby out of state several times a month to visit his jailbird ass) Not so much anymore, since he is now out of the pokey and working a $7 an hour job, cause that's all he can find. How long before you think he's gonna go back to the hustle? She's set herself up for misery and heartache for the rest of her life, but that's her "boo". (She actually had a "going away" party of sorts for him before he went to prision-once again, WTF?)

While he was locked up, she rediscovered her faith-Jehovah's Witness-to help her cope. Personally, I think he reality of the child not having daddy around spurred the decision. I think she believed if you don't have Christmas or Birthdays, then the subject of where Daddy is won't come up) And this isn't some 20 something with limited life experience like Lauren London. This is a 30+ woman-educated, owns a catering business, part-time real estate agent, owns her own home. She knew what he was doing and I guess as long as the Gucci and Zegna was available, and they could floss like they were Jay and Bey--it was all good.
I don't understand or condone it.

Me personally, I ain't bailing you out for a DUI. I let brothers know up front-I don't do jailbirds. If you get locked up, doing something you know damn well you shouldn't be doing, Do not call me. I can't help you.

SMH @ Her wanting a thug. meh. God help her if she's serious. There's a part of me that wants to believe she was pandering to the magazine's target market.whatever.

rorysmomma said...

She's young and stupid. obviously doesn't know any better.

Symphony said...

While there are some "educated" Black women who fall for the thug/bad boy many of the women who love these men are simply dating in their own dating pool.

How many professional Black men are going to the hood to pick up the poor, uneducated women and marry them?

Ezra said...

My theory is: How much a woman desires a thug is directly proportional to the extent her own father sacrificed his thug life in order to be a Real Man and spend quality time with her.

The women need compassion because they don't have good fathers and the women's fathers... probably also needed good fathers... so they too need some love.

Sorry ladies, I guess I'm not the thug you long for. But my wife sure appreciates my dedication to our daughter.

SingaporeSwim said...

Avg Bro,
perhaps your question s/h/b "(why) do black GIRLS love thugs!?!?"
the answer to that question: it's a phase for most black girls and a permanent state of mind for too many others b/c bad/hard asses are glamorized in some of our communities.

as phrased, your question suggests that black WOMEN and MEN do not desire what's best for themselves, their offspring and their communities.

generally, i don't find that supposition to be the case.

The Dark Angel said...

AB, Lauren London is typical of Lauren London man. She's young and only knows as much as she's experienced in life. So right now, a thug is what she wants. When life shows her the problems with that choice, her opinion "may change" (if she's the kind of person that learns from her choices), but she's not typical of today's black women. Black women are as diverse in their tastes now as they were back in the day.

In the suburbs, I see women who want a "thug" because they're bored with similar types of men all around them. In the inner city there are women who wish there were more educated men out there, because they hate the ignorance they see around them.

It's all about your experience...your enviornment. At the core of it all, ALL WOMEN want a man that'll treats them good. The package that man comes in (i.e. thug or average bro) is the only difference.

Huntdaddy said...

You know, I used to get mad with sisters who preferred Gangstalicious style brothas but not anymore. Back in the day, I would be out with a chick and a dude would drive by with a kitted up Jetta with a booming system and that was it for me....seems like back then, the nice guy (ME) always finished last.

But hold the phone, the nice guys have made a major comeback...

I can't tell you how many times over the years the now reformed Gangsta Boo came knockin on my door lookin for me to the proverbial Captain Save-A-H*. Seems like Gangstalicious, several of them by the time the sistahs circle back to me, have taken them to a place where the Carlton Banks style brother I (ME)is now Option One. I love the game they try to kick too...."I always liked you...I was going through a phase...there won't be a problem when my baby-daddy gets out of prison." Believe it not, I have actually heard this stuff.

So, if Ms. London or any other sistah likes thugs, more power to her. I wish her well and I hope Thugnificent treats here with the respect she deserves...and when he doesn't, I hope The Nice Guy she runs back to clowns her, gives her bus fare, and send her to visit her baby-daddy in the pen for her monthly conjugal visit.

We nice guys are not responsible bad decisions; even if these decisions were made by young (and sometimes dumb/naive) sistahs.

This is the same things many sistahs say about brothas who prefer non-Black women...but that's another story!

cube said...

"a few footlongs shy of a Quiznos"?

How do you come up with this stuff?!?

Wizznilliam said...

@Huntdaddy:
LOL.. You hit it out the park. After you reach a certain age why even care anymore.. By the time these women get in their 30's (like me), they end up realizing how stupid they were and wishing that they had hooked up with that "nerd" they used to diss.

Luckily for me, early on I found a fine black woman who was equally as "square" as myself. So I ended up not having to deal with all the drama.

j said...

ebw said:

To some women these type of men represent power. They really feel like these crooked ass men will kill for them and provide for them as long as the stacks are coming in.
------------------------------
Exactly. I think there's a primal "me Tarzan, you Jane" attraction to the thug. Especially for middle-class women who ought to know better. He's the embodiment of the rogue in all those horrible romance novels.

Vindindy said...

AvgBro - think about having a dating service for your non-thugs 'square" male readers and your "square" black female readers...

KIRK VAN IRVIN said...

@ ebw

I have to agree with you. It's not just a Black woman thing, although you kind of blew my as-women -get older theory out of the water with your 30+ friend... do you think she's the exception though?

the uppity negro said...

i'm with most of the other comments on this one--let's consider the source, at least in Lauren London's case.

But, yeah, AB, it's something I definitely noticed when I was in college. Clearly, there are plenty of decent young black men on the HBCU's that I attended (Dillard Univ. in NOLA and Fisk Univ. in Nashville) but consistently, far too many of the young women on our campus were hopping across the street to the PJ's (ever noticed that HBCU's are less than a stone's throw from some PJs) and then leave too many of us young black men scratching our heads.

By in large this was a trend that I noticed all the way through my senior year. Or they'd be caught up on the do-nothing basketball player who's ONLY in school cuz he got the scholarship and can hoop. Anything past graduation requires too much thinking and his head begins to hurt.

I think it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that too many of our women get told "all men are dogs" and if not that bad they definitely believe that "there are no good men out there" and therefore they keep looking for perfection. Even when I talk to YBP women, they refuse to compromise on a LOT of stuff.

But, I want to flip the question:
Why Are Black Men Obsessed with Black Women Who Love Thugs?

ebw-educated black woman said...

@ kirk, I didn't say she was my friend. But no, I don't think she's the exception as several others have mentioned older women who should know better.

@ uppity, your last question is valid. I wonder..you'd think that a guy would know not to mess with a woman with such poor judgement. Who wants to keep having to look over their shoulder to see if her ex-con baby daddy is following them?

the uppity negro said...

@ebw:

Albeit it took me until just last year or so in grad school before I came to that realization, I realized that that's the better question. We look for all these beautiful, educated bombshells, at least as far as campus is concerned, and they're not looking at us.

Why chase after something, or someone in this case, that really isn't interested. That seems almost doomed to fail. I mean, there are many instances of a guy chasing a girl who otherwise she wouldn't have noticed, but at least among my circle of people I run into, that almost NEVER happens. I stopped worrying, and now I have a gf...well, something like that. At least that what she calls herself, lol.

Lawwwwd, and she's coming out here this weekend for the AKA Centennial stuff. I hope she doesn't read this, lol.

nia said...

First of all, I haven't a clue who this young lady is - but you mention that maybe she has a few screws loose or something to that effect. Why pick such an individual as being representative of what black women supposedly think? She does come across like a bit of an idiot. Secondly, she seems very young. Many women in their teens and early twenties especially, go through that stage of finding thugs dangerously attractive. But you get older and wiser. Thirdly, white women are just as guilty of preferring thugs and bad boys, so why do black men always try to make it seem that black women are the only race of women on the planet guilty of this behaviour? And last of all, many black men are just as guilty of being attracted to certain kinds of women for equally shallow, ignorant and superficial reasons. I know many smart, attractive decent and upstanding black women who are never given the time of day by black men because they do not fit their image of what a perfect woman should be. They consider them too quiet, not alluring, sexy, thin, exciting enough, etc., etc.

Ciara said...

A little background about Lauren. She was in ATL as T.I.'s girlfriend. When that movie came out, she was like the newest it-chick in Black Hollywood. Dudes were in LOVE with her. Plus, she rumored to have dated a few rappers in her time (Wayne,Young Gunz,etc.)

It's weird because these comments about her preference are two years old, so I wonder how they came back up.

For me, I go to a school that right in the middle of the hood. So most of the guys that I meet are from there. But best believe, I am looking for someone at my school but they seem to like the girls from the neighborhood more than who they go to school with. So I'm lost lol...

In ways, it's flipped. I've heard dudes from the neighborhood say that they rather date me than some girl around the way because I don't "act like them" etc ... so it's weird.

I think Lauren's comments were ignorant as hell but I do understand why she might have a type. Every girl goes through a phase where she likes that type. Like I said, those comments were made two years ago, so hopefully Lauren has had a change of heart.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey there AverageBro!

Angry Independent had this discussion at his blog about two months back and it seemed that the reactions were negative...

You are quoting a 20-something actress NOT Dr. bell hooks...not Dr. Nikki giovanni...not Dr. Maya Angelou...not Dr. Clenora Hudson-Weems... in other words...you are taking the comments of someone who has limited life experience, limited education and is from the ghetto and attempting to make HER words apply to ALL BLACK WOMEN???

Try asking black women who have been around the world a few times, have acquired formal education BEYOND highschool and undergrad what THEY PREFER and then we can dialogue about what MOST black women think....

Snoop Dog had an album cover with a naked woman in a dog house with her behind in the air...DOES THIS somehow mean that image is what ALL black men go for??


Don't give me a headache, bro.

{shaking my head}
Lisa

nia said...

Lisa, that's exactly my point. If the OP truly wanted a serious insight into this so-called issue, would he really choose a young, airhead actress as an example? We always like to pick the most ridiculous black women (Karrine Stefans, etc.) and then ask "Why do black women this and why do black women that? As though these characters really are typical of all or even most black women. And putting the word 'some' in parenthesis like an apologetic after-thought really makes it no less insulting.

fictional eyes said...

When I was younger, I wanted someone with enough of a past that he wouldn't be bothered about mine. This doesn't necessarily translate into "thug", though. It translates into: "Someone with enough life experiences under his belt, and maybe he's learned from them because I sure as hell have."

Anonymous said...

From what I've seen I'd have to say yes. I'm talking about black women who are like 26 and under who I have more experience with but I've seen black women like this in their 30s and it's pretty sad. But I don't limit myself to just black women and think I know a good black woman when I get to know her. And sorry to say I can relate to a lot of black women who complain about not being able to find a good black men because the pickins are slim on our side too.

AverageBro said...

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies.

I loaded the post with disclaimers. The question about whether Lauren speaks for herself was loaded with sarcasm. Of course she does, and in no way does this mean I think she speaks for all black women. That would be like saying Young Burg's ignant comment about "Black butts" is indicative of all black men.

http://streetknowledge.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/video-yung-berg-recants-anti-black-butt-statements/

Both are young and don't know any better. But they're hardly in a vaccuum, thus the question to AverageNation™.

For the record, I was never attracted to the type of woman who is generally attracted to thugs, so I can't personally say I follow that sentiment. But I've heard this from enough other guys in my lifetime to know it does exist. As you can see, many male comments seem to echo this assertion.

Lauren was nothing more than a poor segue to throw the question on the table. I guess this wasn't one of my better setup jobs, cause that got lost in the shuffle.

See what happens when you try blogging while in the airport?

Tiffany In Houston said...

The statement : 'All black women love thugs' along with the notion that 'all black men want white girls' needs to be flushed down the toilet. Can we let it go like Teddy Pendergrass (or Keyshia Cole for you youngsters)???

I don't listen to bubblehead actresses. I have better things to do...like breathe.

spool32 said...

Why women luv thugz is easily explained by Ladder Theory (warning: strong language). AB, if you haven't read this before, do! It's probably the funniest, and most cuttingly accurate, description of why women choose some types of men that I have ever seen.

"All women want a hot, rich man. That is not possible for all women. There are a shortage of rich men, and a definite shortage of hot rich men, since if a man is rich he doesn't have to bother to look good. So if most of the men in a woman's life are of basically average looks and similar income, what is going to win out? Novelty, and power, which many Outlaw Bikers possess. By the description of attraction in the Ladder Theory it only goes to follow that if a woman can't have a rich man, that she'll gravitate toward an Outlaw Biker. Note also that the time-relative nature of the money variable predicts that a woman will be more likely to want an Outlaw Biker when she is younger, since the Outlaw Biker is usually lacking in money. This appears to be consistent with observation."

Kesi said...

Ok, I'm already bracing myself for the backlash on this one, but I have to admit, (which I'm surprised no other female commenters did), at one point, I dated my share of thugs, but contrary to alot of the beiefs, I had (and still have) a loving and involved father who taught me better, was formally educated, mature and had my pickings of some of the best black men this side of the Mississippi, so what was my problem?

I didn't have one. I was one of the rare sisters who saw the good beneath the rough exterior and actually, though naively, thought I was good natured enough to make them want to leave that negative lifestyle alone.

Also contrary to alot of beliefs, just because a guy has done some time and has the pull of the streets to contend with does not make them a misogynistic, abusive, and irresponsible person. They were sensitive, sweet, respectful, and very loving underneath the menacing undertones they put out there to society.

I had my fair share of good boys, you know those ones that even moms was in love with, but I feel I had to experience what I did to become what I am today and really appreciate what it was my daddy was REALLY trying to teach me.

In hindsight, it may have been dumb, gullible, call it what you like, but like my girl India.Arie so eloquently sang
"Theres a blessin in every lesson, and I'm glad that I knew him at all". You know the old sayin, "Thugs need love too".

And now, Come wit it Average Nation, I'm ready for it.

the uppity negro said...

@kesi

I, personally, aint hatin' on you for dating your fair share of thugs. I just can't understand the women who do this cognitive dissonance thing talking about they want a thug and all that which goes with it, and then at the end of the day, they act shocked he turns out to be a mess.

Of course these are not absolutes, not every thug is a mess, and not every "good guy" is a good match.

But I just don't get it. Leave the thugs to the thuggettes and vice-versa.

nia said...

I couldn't possibly comment Kesi, because I have never dated the kind of men you describe. I did date a man once who was not a "thug", but definitely had his fair share of issues. That was more than enough stress for me. A few months and I was "done wid dat." Thankfully, I have not made the same mistake twice.

Gracie B. said...

Thanks for the final disclaimer, because I guess my question in return would be (why) do (some) black men like 'hos? Cause I will fully admit that I suffer from chickenhead envy whenever I see my cute, educated, employed, independent self being passed up for a scheming tramp.

But like you said, you can't make generalizations. If you could, I would say that it's an evolutionary biological imperative to want a strong man and thugs fit that description.

I'm been there, done that with thugs. They were a novelty when I moved from Indiana to DC, but the freshness has worn off

MissJay said...

@Kesi

Well I don't know if I can really call some I've dated thugs but I've seen some of their lifestyle with some that I have dated. It's for the birds. I feel you on what you said about what's underneath the thug image. But I personally did not like that I was loved in private but not in public. Like PDA was a HUGE no no, no hugs, pecks on the cheek. Personally I don't think it's worth it to date a thug.

As far as Lauren, no it's not fair to think that she represents all women. But she does represent what a lot of young women think and it's sad that being with a thug is how they perceive a great relationship. I agree with not having your bail money. The one I dated never even involved me in anything like that. I appreciated that too. Since I sure as hell was not about to bail him out of anything! LOL I work hard for my legal money and I ain't about to give it away to the city/state because you messed up!

cjames30082 said...

You can take the word "Thug" out and put in "Sorry assed man". For some reason alot of my sistas are just attracted to sorry assed men. And this I cannot understand.

It happens so often that I can't get my head around what is going on. I don't know if it's fear of being alone or what.

Why do y'all like sorry assed men?

Gracie B. said...

Well the definition of "sorry assed" is a little more subjective than thug. But I can say that I'm been there, done that there, too. For me, I can say definitively that it was all about not knowing my own worth. Something short-circuited in my head that said, "it's okay if he's barely employed and always broke. he's nice" or "he's busy that's why he doesn't take me out on real actual dates, but instead comes by around 11 (in spite of being barely employed)."

Eventually I snapped out of it and realized that I deserve a guy who is employed, full-time, or in school or both. Who pays me the respect of setting time to see me out side of bed.

So low-self esteem...that's the excuse for sorry assed men

Anonymous said...

For me it was not so much a thug, but a man that had that edge..just something about em. No one wants some man that they can push around and who has a weak mind etc. I like strong minded men with an edge to them. I want them to be able to hold it down at home, but at someone said earlier, be able to go to a cocktail party and fit right in.

IET said...

My issue is that the women who prefer a thug often wont take any responsibility for their actions/decisions. The women that complain about somone cheating, beating, or that's verbally abusive, ect are generally the ones you here asking "where are all the good black men?" When its their specific definition of "good black men" that is keeping them from actually finding one. I also don't know if it about a lack of maturity. Being a 20 something doesnt justify being attracted to a "dead end" Is being attracted to a "dead end" indicitive of a weak mind?

And if women really weren't interested in "weak minds" then more of them wouldn't be enamoured with "thugs". How many brilliant thugs have you date?

Why are black men in love with black women that love thugs? Great question! I think its because some of us actually consider ourselves MEN, and can't understand why a smart, educated sister would be attracted to those types boys that wont grow up.

And then it hit me, while reading a novel by Gloria Naylor, "the Women of Brewster Place". Some women are too lazy for real relationships. See having a husband, wife, or healthy relationship requires countless amounts of work. Just because a woman doesn't have what it takes or the desire to find, love, and keep a good man doesn't mean she can't have children. Or at least some of the characters in this novel didn't.

I would just like those women to stop complaing about a lack of good men. When you hear that question or complaint incessantly, as a MAN, you realize that too many women don't know the first thing about what a man actaully is. I guess that's the problem.

cinco said...

Well, may Ms. Lauren get what she wants. There's definitely not a shortage of men that are 'thugs'.

Then like the rest of us, she will live with the choices she makes.

It's unfortunate that for some women this is the highest goal they want to obtain. When a thug man is better than a good man or than being alone, where is the hope?

Anonymous said...

You can say its immaturity but black women forget that there value is on a clock. No good black man is going to want a black woman that had multiply thugs/player/ballers run up in her. The good black man never forgets you was judgmental to him because he couldn't afford all the things thugs could get or even act lawless in the streets. Some black men don't want to wait to a woman is in her 30's or 40's to shape. LOL by that time he can go get him a young becky or a Asian chick. Thats the problem with most of these sista. honestly I think its funny how everybody clown me for being a nerd now there thugs left them with the kids she comes looking for me & the only thing on my mind is having sex with her & kicking her to the curve like her past men did. Oh well thats what you women get

Anonymous said...

I consider myself an averagebro I am college educated, but I grew up in the pjs in new york so I definately know both sides of the spectrum. One thing I think we forget is that thugs genuinely love black women. They will fight for them, go to jail, sell drugs to buy them things etc. They are just not as judgemental us good guys are. My freinds who are thugs will forgive loose behavior in their women and just about anything else as long as they are attracted to them. Women like this it is like having a pitbull (loyal as hell, big teeth, small brain) it is a novelty for women. I have seen it up close and a lot of these educated women just need the ego boost of having this dangerous guy who is so impressed with her for just working or going to school and looking good. It's not so much
that they love these guys they are just kind of self centered and lazy when it comes to relationships. Good guys are a challenge a girl has to really be about something and have a certain amount of integrity to keep one. A lot of sisters just don't have it like that.

Anonymous said...

I've read all the comments and I can appreciate the young women wanting a guy with an "edge". To be honest with you, I see way too many girly actin' young brothas on the college campuses these days. These young sistas really don't have much to choose from as far a a mate. These young guys in schools are fashion concscience, just like the women; the guys aren't phsyically fit by playing video games all day and don't hit the gym, and the young guys are all around "feminine!". I have a biased solution to the sista who wants the best of both worlds in a young man who is physically fit, attitude, masculine, works hard and excels scholastically....she should hook up with a QUE DOG like me!...Men of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Incorporated embodies that in which they seek. We are resourceful scholars who intimidate other men and we please our women in the bed as well as take care of business without it leading us to the state pen!...Roooo!

H-town713 said...

I just like to know why you don't want a man that's gonna treat you right,give you nice things,& do things for you?Any woman that wants a thug that doesen't do anything for them & beat them up needs her head examined.

Anonymous said...

As a police detective I see the bullshit unfold first hand in my daily comings and goings with sisters. As a general rule (65%-70%)of black women sometimes well into their 40s gravitate towards thugs. If not a thug a guy who's a complete jerk or will treat them any kind of way. Personally i don't feel sorry for those type of women,; not from a haters perspective; however it's that same behavior that perpetuates the breakup of the black family resulting in our SHITuations socially and economically. I have a problem with this because after the smokes clears, these same sisters "throw brothers under the bus" and feed into the cliche' of "there ain't no good black men".

Anonymous said...

I agree with the police detective at the bottom. I hear it all the time with women saying "There aint no good black men." First off I'm in a good relationship and I'm black and I have been told a number of times from my girl that I am a good black man. I'm not a square, but I'm a down university college student and athlete who can still whoop ass. Why women want the thugs is a good question

Anonymous said...

I wont say that there aren't any good black men, I will just say that their aren't enough of them. If most of the black women are picking black men, then the question should be, what pool of men do they have to choose from. There are more not so good black men for black women, then the good ones. Most black men grow up in single women homes without a father. Nearly 70 percent, so more then likely most aren't being raised to be good black men. Look at what the jails are mostly filled with and the drop out rate of black boys is astronomical. This is the black women and black mens fault. So yes there are good black men out there but no, there aren't enough of good black men to go around. There are statiscally more black women to black men.

Anonymous said...

so yes a black women has more of a chance of running into a non-good black men then she does a good one and if she waited around for a good one, she would probably end up empty-handed and without a man. Just the statistics folks. This doesn't mean a black women should go with a thug, I am just saying that the chances and likelyhood are very strong that she will end up with one.

MilkyWay said...

@ HuntDaddy

Next time, when they come at you and say that they were in some sort of phase, tell them you're in a phase that's called:

"Back then they didn't want me.."

Lol.

Anonymous said...

Tupac was the direct opposite from Malcom X. Tupac said he wanted to be a thug because thats what white america wanted him to be Malcom X on the other hand wanted to be the opposite of what white America wanted expected him to be and act. they wanted him to be a thug so he chose no to be a thug. this goes far back to slavery white men have always wanted black men to act a certain way and speak a certain way so they would aways be lower class than they are take for instance school white and asian kids are tort from a early age that school is cool and why they should stay in school but black kids with all the hip hop in their culture teaches them that school is for nerds and the more nerdy you are the less people will like you, not knowing that lack of a education and living off the streets as Tupac did would get them in danger such as gang banging, drug dealing, murdered, etc. so Tupac was wrong for starting that whole thug mentality trend because its gone too far, there are many lives lost to foolishness because young kids are growing up to be thugs in the black communities. theirs to much killing, drug trafficing, prostition on the streets and its killing our race thats just what many white people that are racist want and that is to see the downfall of the black race, theirs a war going on today and that is to get as many black men behind bars as possible so they can come out gay or even aids infected. the same thugs come out of prison and infect black women with aids by secretly having sex with other men. the justice system is out to destroy the black race.

Anonymous said...

Too many of the women are trying to say the thug is the only option. The whole purpose of this question about thugs is to deal with good guys (usually in class with the good girls that won't date them - I know from experience) not having a shot 'cause the girls in class only date thugs.

The-realist said...

HA!! Who wants to even give a b-tch like that a chance even if she is still single!?!? Hey, fellas, I'm tired of screaming this, so its gonna be the last time. Take it from an old soldier. From the military, to the streets to the corporate boardrooms, black females today are like computer viruses with multiple Trojan horse and worm applications, they are programmed to destroy, even if they profess to desire a "good" black man.
Stop putting all these frigging conditions on your acceptance of them. "Unless" "Until" "When" You dudes have got me F'D up with that line of logic. Don't you get it?!? Black females don't need you, and they don't want to see you surpass them in any field of endeavor!!! Okay!?! An empowered black man/men for them is like a target package for a cluster bomb, she may instinctively seek you out, but it is NOT to build you up, it is to BLOW YOU OFF OF THE MAP!!! All over these threads,guys keep sending half-hearted love letters to these black girl bombs, before they go off, like you can disarm and defuse them with sad, soulful confessions of unrequited love or rejection as hard-pecker teenagers, or high school Romeos. Pathetic. No matter what your situation is right now, realize one thing, THESE B-TCHES DO NOT RESPECT YOU. That is the real foundation for any hope of a relationship. What does a black bitch really want from you today? To be a drone, a servant, or a supplier, but all for her needs, and her needs alone. That isn't love, that's usury, and you need to wake up to that reality. Stop being the slave/buck and make yourself into a man for the 21st century, that's the thing you should be concentrating on!! Upgrade!! Only when you have punched through all of the shit that America hands you as a black man, and gained respect, recognition and fear as a force to be reckoned with, will your true helpmate emerge!!! Easy?? NOT AT ALL!! Worth it?!? NO QUESTION!!! STOP strumming your guitar and singing your lyrics to her dude, you're only a source of amusement.STAND UP and be a real man!! When you do that, black broads fall back and fall off like a scab on an old wound. I've said enough. There it is.

Yrral said...

Well said^^^^^

Max Townsend said...

I think they do. But I've noticed its normally the loud and ignorant black women that desire the thugs. And me and my friends have a name for the ones that don't fit that description, we call them "contaminated" lol but honestly I could care less who they date. As a 19 year old African American male who attends college and who works TWO jobs, I don't really care because I know I can pull women who appreciate a REAL man anytime I want and Lord knows I don't discriminate against any race. :)

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