I had an interesting day that seemed to exemplify the balancing act that is being a Black man in America.
[Editor's Note: Don't worry, this isn't one of those "downer" posts. It is, however, one of those "incessant rambling" posts. Consider yourself forewarned, and as always, Enjoy Responsibly.]
I recently figured out how to put bootleg ringtones on my BlackBerry. It's not really all that hard, you just add instrumental MP3 files to the phone's internal memory card, choose the desired song as your phone tune, and voila, you too can have the cell phone of a preteen!
And I'm soooo proud of myself for figuring this out.
Anyways, I'm here in Boston on official Day Job bidness all week, and while I love my ghetto ringtones on my own time, I'm smart enough to usually switch to the standard ringer when the situation deems in necessary.
So this morning, I'm in the midst of some in depth technical discussion with the customer when out of the blue, my phone rings.
A Milli! A Milli! A Milli! A Milli!
Awww crap, I forgot to switch tunes. It's a serious case of When Keepin' It Ring Goes Wrong!
A Milli! A Milli! A Milli! A Milli!
Needless to say, experienced and smooth Corporate Negro that I am, I pretended to not even hear anything. Unphased, I kept right on explaining my technical jibber jabber, and the customer bit my cue and pretended not to hear it either. Not even when the phone rang again a few seconds later.
A Milli! A Milli! A Milli! A Milli!
Since I'm particularly great at what I do, I didn't allow this relatively minor dose of C.Y.I.N. to derail my shine, and the day wrapped up around 5. Since I don't know anyone in this city, I was planning on just crashing early, when my customer invited me to join them at the Red Sox/Twins game, provided we could all manage to cop tickets. I guess Lil' Wayne didn't scare them off after all.
I'm no big baseball fan. Period. Although I'm trying to at least become a casual observer now that AverageToddler's here, the sport just doesn't do much for me. Plus, I'm usually leery of going anyplace where I'll be massively outnumbered by thousands of inebriated white folks. I mean, seriously, that's a recipe for disaster on some macro level, right?
But common sense prevailed. Yankee Stadium is kickin' the bucket this year. I'd already passed up a chance to hit Wrigley a few years ago, and I still regret that to this day. Who knows how long the venerable Fenway Park has left? I don't exactly get a chance to visit an American Icon everyday. You only live once, so why not?
So, after managing to wrangle some decent outfield bleacher seats for a mere $60[1] each, we got settled in for the ceremonial first pitch. And then it suddenly hit me.
I'm in White Guy Heaven!
I've been to enough sporting events to know that the Fenway experience is unique. The history. The mystique. The manicured greens. The pennants. The Green Monster. The Citgo sign. The hand operated scoreboards. The jumbled accents of the locals. The rooftop seats. The organ. The street level energy outside on Yawkey Way. The proliferation of green every darn where. The fact that every freakin' fan in attendance except for me had some variation of that iconic "B" logo on their person. The realization that except for the handful of brothers I saw sweeping and mopping in the concourses, I was probably the only Negro out of the 38,000+ in the stadium that wasn't swinging a bat. It sorta kinda has to be lived to be believed.
Even though I have an intense hatred for Boston (and NY for that matter) sports fans, I actually can understand why the Sox have such a manic following. These folks know how to be fans. They booed the visiting Twins lustfully. There was no BlackBerry tapping. Impromptu crowd waves broke out. Neil Diamond songs materialized out of thin air and were poorly sung. Soul claps were horrendously off-beat. Beach balls floated around the stands. Fans were knowledgeable of the game and the rosters. Every player had some crazy nickname and a cultlike following. And although Sox fans have a reputation for being overly obnoxious (see the photo above for proof[2]), everyone sitting around me was extra friendly. Gradually, the natural hater in me started to melt away. Somewhere around the 5th inning, as the Sox fell further and further behind, a strange thing happened.
I actually started cheering for them.
I picked up the "Let's Go Red Sox!", clap-clap! clap-clap-clap! chants. I winced everytime Manny Ramirez swung blindly for the fences only to whiff out. I did the cliche, yet still cool Soulja Boy style "Yoooouuuuuk" every time Kevin Youkilis came to bat. I ingested strange pork products that I'm sure took a solid 3 hours off my life expectancy. I snapped photos with the frequency of a Japanese tourist. I started hoping for a comeback. And oddly enough, when Manny Ramirex finally connected on a 2 run homer in the bottom of the 8th that helped complete said comeback, I found myself jumping around and hi-fiving everyone in my section.
It was darn near a storybook ending to a great night at a great park that I'll probably never forget, and can show and tell to my grandkids someday, all for just $60!!! And I loved every moment of it.
I guess you could call this Channelling My Inner White Dude.
This post didn't really have any point, other than to say that sometimes as black folks, we tend to not do certain things because we consider them "White Folks' Stuff". And sometimes, as a result, we miss out and keep ourselves in box of culturally accepted experiences when we really just need to give stuff a chance.
I'm not tellin' anyone to go jump out of an airplane, go whitewater rafting if you can barely swim, or otherwise take unnecessary chances with your life, but sometimes pushing the envelope and coming out of our shells is the essence of living.
Channelling Your Inner White Dude[3] won't improve your credit score, but it might could expose you to something new.
I still hate the Celtics though. Sorry.
Question: Tell me about a recent example of Chanelling Your Inner White Dude. Spool32 and Wilma, since you guys technically C.Y.I.W.D. permanently, share with us a recent case of C.Y.I.B.D.
Ramirez, Moss lead Red Sox over Twins [Yahoo! Sports]
[1] I know this sounds like a lot for a cheap seat, but it isn't. The Sox have sold out nearly 500 straight. It's a hot ticket to say the least.
[2] Man, is that kid starting early or what?
[3] Spare the comments. Of course living outside the box of doesn't have to be associated with "typical white folks stuff". I already know this. But admit it, C.Y.I.W.D. does make for a catchy post title.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Channelling Your Inner White Dude
Tags Popped: C.Y.I.N., NBA = Nuthin' But Africans, TeeVee Sux, That Sh*t Is Racist
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AB @ AOL BlackVoices
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This is so true. One of the best times I've ever had was at a hockey game. It was much like the baseball game you described -- before the night was over I was yelling, "RED WINGS SUCK! RED WINGS SUCK!" and "OSGOOD! OSGOOD! YOU SUCK!" like an old pro. I've also been to a honkytonk in Nashville and went to see a jam band show in Columbus, Ohio.
In short, I never say never or place limitations on what I will or won't do, as long as it's safe and legal.
Eww...you rooted for the Sawx.
-100.
There is something about getting your box seat on watching America's pastime that brings about a certain feeling of whiteness.
It is weird how many people pay high fees when for a couple of seconds for one song (ringtones) as opposed to the entire song (.99 cents) or CD (download). Bootleg ringtones? Nah, smarter alternative to wasting your money.
Its not that hard, it is also very old.
I can't really say much for folks who consider certain activities tied to another group of people. The sad part is that there are many people who equate looking and obtaining a job white folks stuff and then there's reading a book. I've heard it often. There's usually no reply worth repeating.
C.Y.I.W.D. moment hiking in the Rocky Mountains and I loved every minute of it. Another C.Y.I.W.D moment venturing off the tourist path in Mexico probably not the smartest thing we have ever done but we had lots of fun until the sun started to descend.
My C.Y.I.W.Girl moments: Hiking in Colorado, Ohio and Australia. I went camping once (probably won't do it again), white water rafting (awesome!), canoeing in the Cape Fear River, frequented various microbrewery pubs.
Though I prefer to C.Y.I.N., I usually have fun trying something new, and I think more black folks should step outside the box.
AB- your ringtone story was hilarious!
I go to any event that interests me, regardless of culture. I am just as cool with going to a black event as I am going to the Irish Festival where seemingly everything is served from hughe boiling cauldrons of some sort. I never looked at it as CYIN or CYIWD..
@AB That's called channeling your inner 'Bob'. For a woman it's called channelling your inner 'Amy'. You know when you're in the elevator and the Tears for Fears song "Everybody wants to rule the world" comes on. You know you like it. (My inner 'Bob' is running loose today).
Some recent ones:
-Joining the summer squash (the sport not the vegetable) league at the gym. It's a great workout.
-Going to an outdoor jam band concert with a bunch of old hippies and preppy college kids. It was quite the experience.
-Eating tofu. Take it or leave it.
-Yoga. Very relaxing. Surprisingly difficult. Great workout. I see why they're so fanatical about it.
-Polo. The Jack and Jill chapter in Brevard, Florida actually used a polo match as a charity event. We may not be represented on the field but it's fun to watch.
I've had a lot. I'll think of some more later.
@ singlike/Inkog
Yeah, I completely sold out and was even doing the chants. But hey, that's what "fans" do. It was refreshing, considering most sporting events in DC are like cocktail parties. I don't like the Sox, but I love the fans passion. Can't deny that.
@ vee
Even better, there are LEGITIMATE sites (ie: not illegal d/l) where you can find these instumentals for free.
You ain't actually think I gave Dewayne Carter my son's 529 money, did ya'?
@ jazzy/Aliyah
Yeah, hiking/whitewater rafting are definitely slept on. Haven't done eithe rin a few years, but folks don't know what they're missin'.
@ CJames
No doubt. As much as I love 80's R&B, 80'S pop music was no slouch either. I got lots of Duran Duran, Wham, Hall & Oates, etc on the iPod, right beside Col Abrams, Gregory Abbott, and Patrice Rushen.
Good music is good music.
@ Black Elite
Ever try Bikram Yoga? That's the one where you do it in a 98 degree room. It is NO joke. I have much respect for anyone who does this on the daily. That's hardbody. Two times were enough for me to go back to the elliptical trainer.
Wow Jack and Jill huh? My CYIWD moment happened in the office the other day and kind of relates to your post in that it involves baseball. It happened when Journey came on. Unlike yourself I'm a huge baseball fan, more specifically a huge Cubs fan, but I support both squads. Everyone who lives in Chicago knows that "Don't Stop Believing" was the theme song for the 05 Sox when they won the series. Some of ya'll might remeber this was the song playing at the end of the Sopranos right before the screen went black.
Anyway, we're in the office and my boss is a huge White Sox fan and we're talking about the Cubs new signing and he says "I need some relief from all this Cubs talk," and walks towards the radio in his office. He turns on the radio and before you knew it, I was losing my MF'N mind singing "some Fucking journey" From the first note to the hook I knew every word. It could have been worse; I could have been drunk in the middle of a bar embarassing myself, it's happened before, but luckily all I had to do was walk back to my desk and pretend like it never happened.
Yes, being a temporary Bostonian I totally think this fierce fan support is cool. Very few places have such die hard fans per capita as Boston. These New Englanders LOVE their sports team there is no doubt. You ain't from Boston if you don't own B gear. I'm proud to say I do own Sox and Celtics shirts. You know one of those when in Rome things, they will be my souvenirs of my life lived here.
I TRULY love these Celtics. However the Sox are growing on me.
And since I will be here for football season we will see what these Patriot fans can get of me.
I will be going to Fenway pretty soon, I didn’t make it to the Garden this year but I’ll have time. Hope you enjoyed your stay in my temporary city!
-OG
@ CJames I love that song. And Shout. Now I gotta go get my mom's tape and listen to Tears For Fears....darn you! :)
I have gone skydiving, jetskiing, snorkeling, yelled at hockey games, played lacrosse, stood in line for hours for Wrestlemania, eaten potato pancakes, checked out (real) drag racing, attended an opera, and went to toga parties in the 1980s. If you check out my Ipod, you'd see the Bee Gees, Duran Duran, Ambrosia, and Tears for Fears right next to EWF, NWA, Rick James, and Parliament. Needless to say, I shamelessly CYIWD like a mug...
But I draw the line at Tractor Pulls...even though I hear they are fun and I'm actually dying to go. A brother has to draw the line somewhere right? Who am I kidding, I'm gonna go and I'm sure I'll love it.
Whether it's CYIN or CYIWD, who cares....do what you like and do it often. That's how I roll.
And for the record, the Detroit Red Wings RULE!!!!
@ OG Glam
Where are you? Harvard? Northeastern? Berklee? BC? MIT?
Sounds like you had a great time. Yes, WhiteWorld is a fun place to visit! (P.S.-help me put that A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI" ringtone on my BB Pearl!)
@ aqua
I'll show ya' how to' do this, son!!!
Send me an email offline. We'll get you hooked up.
AB, what do you know about Col. Abrams!! :-) You need to devote a post to that MF
@ aqua
"AB, what do you know about Col. Abrams!! :-) You need to devote a post to that MF"
I'm familiar, but dude's not popular enough for his own We Owned The 80's. He was basically a Luther Vandross swaggerjacker. There's no honor in that.
He had some tunes tho'.
LMAO! I’m working in Boston and seriously thinking of getting a MBA from Harvard or MIT (still thinking… not sure if I’m ready to do school- it’s been a while since I cracked books for grades!) I live in the South End not to far from Fenway or the Garden across the street from Roxbury (the Harlem of Boston so to speak).
I was hired to come up here from my cushy job in Houston and decided to see what it was like to be a visiting working professional. Boston has a lot of folks that are just here to get that paper. I know it was a little known fact to me to until I got here. *lol*
OG
I'm also part of the hiking group. First time I went, my phone rang and it was my mom. She asked where I was. WHen I said hiking, she asked if I was with the new boyfriend. No. Old boyfriend? No. Then she said - in a tone that sounded like she was giving me the secrets to the universe: "Honey, don't you know black women don't hike if there isn't a man involved?"
I still hike - without a man. ANd I love it. It's how I clear my mind. I also listen to country music and know how to line dance.
Hey Average Bro!
LOL, you should be a Dodger Fan! I love Baseball and you've never had so good a time as a dodger game with a dodger dog ( Kosher) and an Ice Cold Coke, the five dollar frozen lemonade and winning against the hated San Francisco Giants! I went with my Grandpa and I have the best memories of that. Oh, and you are so right,the Celtics sux but they did win with class. You should go back and read my series on how if they won the true four horsemen, Barney, Kenny G, Michael Bolton and Yanni would wreak havoc on us all! And how the battle was resolved.
PS. The Lakers still Rule!
Jaycee
I hadn't realised that hiking is a White experience (before I came on here that is). But I like that and I go camping a lot. And then there's going to rock concerts, going to the ballet. Though I have to admit that going to the ballet is still a bit weird for me, because I come from a dirt poor background and every time I go to the ballet I feel like everyone can see that I'm not like them, that I don't belong there.
What counts as a 'channeling my inner black woman' experience by the way?
Hey Average Bro!
I didn't know that some of these activities are "white"....
Hiking?
Umm.... didn't Africans hike everywhere they went? *LOL*
I know white people put on their back packs and start exploring but um... African women put jugs of water and fire wood on their heads and bring it back to the village... but I realize it was NOT for sport.. so okay...
Channelling Your Inner Black Woman...let me think about this one...
Well...hey...my BLOG is how I channel my inner black woman!! *LOL*
(smiles)
Lisa
_________________________________
@ Singlikesassy
@ O.G.
Comrades!
{raised fist}
My Biggest CYIWG is as simple as going to school- Southern Baptist University and the whitest place on Earth. I enjoyed the strange looks from my hall mates as I sang "Red Neck Woman" and "Honky Tonk BadonkaDonk" at the top of my lungs and followed it with EWF, Parliment and then Pearl Jam.
It looks like I'll be spending more than a few evenings at our local yokel baseball park watching our local yokel team play against yokels from a different locale. My daughter is newly obsessed with baseball. Most of the odd moments in my life have been when I CMIN, it's always an interesting experience being around a large group of people and noticing that most of the white people are more hood than myself.
@AB:
as you found out,no matter what sport you may or may not like, you will get your total entertainment value by going to one of these:
-Red Sox game @Fenway,
-ANY NYC pro sports team home game.
to hell with the game! Watch the fans! I found this out going a Yankees game.
And I have to give this a honorable mention: Old school Raiders games. When I was 10 , We went to visit my uncle who lived in San Jose. He he took us to Raiders game . On the day of the game, He gave us some black t-shirts. We asked "why do we have to wear these?", and he said "Just shut up and wear them!" Good advice. Because of the bowl of granola that is the Bay Area, the ONLY thing they all agreed on was the Raiders! God help you if you weren't wearing Silver and Black!
@ kirk
I've actually been the The Gaaaden once. Don't laugh, but it was for a New York Liberty WNBA game. And you're right, even for a lousy sporting event like that it was still a pretty amazing experience. I heard the Raiders go hard too.
Next stop: Wrigley Field. I gotta get back there.
@ a choice of weapons
Have been to Chavez ravine. I hate saying this, but I was underwhelmed. Sorry.
I actually had an opportunity to go to PacBell during the height of Barry Bonds stardom, but missed out because I had to work (arrgh! the nerve of some customers). I regret that one too, but I'll make it there someday.
@ Wilma
I grew up in the country, so I'm pretty comfortable outdoors, but as a whole, no, we don't hike on the regular. Not really "our" thing. The bugs, snakes and whatnot. Or at least that's what my wife (who's a city girl from DC) says.
I agree with daedalus- I don't limit myself culturally. I'm channeling my inner me. :) Currently, I'm learning to play classical guitar, and I love it! It's the most challenging thing I've ever done! I'm learning to read and write music. I'm learning music appreciation. It's a dream come true!
AB, if ya gotta go - go hard!
Check out Fabolous - "A Milli" Remix. I love this.
When I lived in ATL, I didn't go to any Braves games. Then I moved back home to the Carolinas and had hunger pangs to see them. I finally did a few years ago, and was kicking myself for not doing it sooner.
I took my wifey to her first Braves game on our anniversary trip last year. She was more interested in the Good Year Blimp and the food. I was screaming like a fool.
I recorded that game on DVD while we were away, took a photo with Homer, the mascot and had a blast.
My first NHL game was watching the Atlanta Thrashers play the Philly Flyers, and I became a fan.
My dad took me to a Charlotte Hornets game as a kid, and that was fun.
I still have yet to attend an NFL game though. But I did go to a couple of Arena League games with the now defunct Carolina Cobras. I still have my Matt Nagy jersey and autographed football.
EG
Free ringtones for all: MixerTone.com
(Don't thank me, thank my 23 year old brother)
I like tubing/rafting, 80s pop, and British pub food. I've channeled my inner Becky on many occasions.
I'm an inexplicable anglophile. I can pull off a dead-on London accent, and am completely obsessed with the British monarchy. Queen Elizabeth (the first) is my girl!!
@ Miss Gypsie Eyes~
Gretchen Wilson is the truth!! :-)
AvgBro - if your work ever brings you to Indianapolis, come in May so you can attend 500 qualifications or in August for the Brickyard. Then we'll talk.
Let's see... CYIWG:
-Went to a UTK Football game were everything was a see of Orange and White. I actually sang "Rocky Top."
-I went to a Texans vs Astros game in Houston and had a ball. Those cowboys (who were Astros fans) were cute and mad fun
-I attended this open air concert that played sort of an Indie pop rock... I don't know how to describe it but the music sounds like the soundtrack to a teen comedy/romance movie i.e. "Ten Things I Hate About You". It was actually very relaxing
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