Monday, June 23, 2008

People I Strongly Dislike: DC Weathermen

[That's right. Another new series.]

Yep, it's that time of the month. I don't exactly know what time, but do I know certain people have really been pissin' on my Kashi of late, so how better to get back at these folks than call them out here at Note, no actual names are mentioned below, but if you're smart enough, you'll know whom I'm speaking of.

BTW, hate is such a strong word. I don't personally "hate" anyone, although Sean Hannity darn near pushes the envelope. So no, this ain't about hate, this is garden variety dislike. Don't get it twisted.

That said, I wish ill will, disease, and pestilence on the homes of the following:

DC Urreah Weathermen - Last week, AverageSis mentioned the possibility of a Day Trip to Delaware to hit the beach with the kid, have some Grottos, and generally just chill. But the sage meteorologists of the Capitol region were all saying the same thing. The weekend would be a wash, so don't bother. Thus, we canned our plans.

Wouldn't you know it, I wake up Saturday morning and it's sunny as all get-out. The forecasters are now saying severe t-storms that evening. So, I don't second guess my decision to cancel... until I wake up Sunday morning and realize there still isn't a drop of rain on the ground yet. Then the forecasters say "severe thunderstorms Sunday beginning around 2pm". And again, nothing.

Today was the final straw. These bamas were screamin' "t-storm warning, leave the office by 3pm if you can" on my commute in this morning. I'm still here at 4pm, and guess what? It's clear and 85 outside.

So, not only did these boobs ruin my weekend, but now, since I'm nearly 5 days late watering the lawn, I gotta go home and run the sprinklers all evening.

I've gotten used to them screwing up forecasts in the Winter. They'll say a blizzard's on the way, and people buy up every loaf of bread and gallon of milk in captivity, only to find sun the next morning. But now they're messing up routine Summer forecasts, and that just ain't right.

Cause messin' with a man's beach time is like messin' with his emotions and whatnot.

I'm just sayin'.

[Editor's Update: No sooner than I pressed the "Publish Post" button did I look outside my window and notice the sky had dramatically darkened. It wasn't exactly a monsoon, but it was a nice enough rain to satisfy my lawn and keep WSSC in check. I suppose I should be happy about this. I'm still not.]

Question: Just how darned difficult is it to get a weatherman's gig anyway?

[1] Lewes Beach, DE is the best beach EVAR, man. Assuming you're over 30 and go to the beach to relax, not take in scenery.

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