Monday, April 21, 2008

Yep, The Apocolypse Is Near....

Clearly we've come a long way since Mother Goose. Witness the latest craze in children's lit.

I so wish I wasn't making this up.

Mom's getting a tummy tuck and a new nose. But how does she tell her kids?

A Florida plastic surgeon has written the first known picture book aimed at 4-7 year-olds that seeks to reassure them about mom going under the knife.

But the book, "My Beautiful Mommy," has stirred up a hornet's nest among feminists and even some cosmetic surgeons who feel it may undermine the self-esteem of the very young.

Dr Michael Salzhauer, a father of four, said he wrote the book because many of his patients are having "mommy makeovers" to fix saggy breasts and slack tummies a few years after childbirth and were concerned about what to tell their kids.
Hmmm, what do you tell the kids?

"I hate your friggin guts for giving me these Madea boobs, so read this friggin' book and stop cryin' already!"

Yeah, that sounds about right.
Salzhauer said feedback to the book from his own patients has been very positive. But some of the explanations from the attractive, cartoon-style mom in the book have sparked a furious online debate.

"As I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better," the mother tells her daughter.

Her nose surgery, she explains, will make her look "not just different, my dear -- prettier!."
I'm just speechless.

If this new genre of "reality children's books" catches on, what's next?
"Daddy's Going On 5-7 Year Vacation!"

"Grandpa Didn't Mean To Touch You There."

"Mommy Has A New Friend, Don't Tell Daddy."

"Barney Is Gay. Sorry."

"That's Not Oregano!"

"You're Going To Have To Live With Grandpa For Awhile."
Whatever happened to, you know, talking to your kids and not using a book as a crutch? Sheez.

Question: Is this the dumbest thing you've heard in awhile or is it just me?

Mom's having tummy tuck? What to tell the kids [AP]

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