Friday, March 28, 2008 Guest Post: How Much Proposal Is Too Much Proposal!!?!?

Really Long Editor's Note: ain't the only blog I read of course. There's lots of other good stuff out there in the black blogosphere, and one of my favorites is My man TheDad and his wife (TheMom) explore the his/hers PoV of various relationship issues on the daily, which isn't really a perspective you get to hear very often. The site's all about uplifting the black family, which as you might suspect, AB is all for. It's the kind of mature blog I'd like to write one day when I grow up.

Anyways, you may have gotten an email about this very unusual proposal out of Atlanta. If not, I'd suggest peeping the photo gallery before you read this drop or it'll all go over your head. My Inner Accountant says this whole event had to cost upwards of $20,000.[1] The photo gallery had become an internet sensation, and the couple has even been name-dropped by Oprah. The question being posed by my guests is "how much is too damn much for a marriage proposal?".[2] I know this isn't the typical topic, but ride with us on this one and show my guests some love you-know-where. Without further adieu....

NOTE: Check out the photo gallery first, then read the Guest Drop.


Robert Gray proposed to his girlfriend Keisha Williams by renting out several suites at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Atlanta, GA. In each suite, he had friends and family waiting for them where they prayed for the couple throughout the proposal. The suites were decorated with rose petals dipped in gold and lit candles everywhere. It was beautiful. I read somewhere that Robert actually rented out his home and stayed with his sister for months in order to save up for this elaborate proposal. The question was asked of BMWK: "How Much is Too Much for a Proposal?... Did he go to far?"

Her View

My answer to that is NO! When I saw the slide show of the proposal, I almost was like I could actually feel the emotions from that was beautiful and moving. She must have felt so special to know that Robert planned that special night with her in mind. Every woman deserves to have someone treat her special just like that. And it does not have to be an expensive gesture...but something that shows that careful thought was put into it. My husband tried to propose to me by the water on Old town Alexandria, VA. After a nice dinner, he wanted us to go for a walk along the water and he was going to propose. I say WAS..because the black girl in me ruined that proposal. He could not get me out of the matter how hard he tried. I was tired and I gave him every excuse in the I am's misty and my hair will get ruined.

Anyway.. we ended up back at his house where he had to improvise. But it was the thought that counted. I was so moved by the fact that he had planned that entire night out.... I felt special. He laughs about it to this day because he could not get me out of that car.

His View

I also almost cried when I saw this... I was thinking what the h#$@ are you doing dropping that money on the proposal!?!? Mannnnnn, use that on the new house or the wedding or the honeymoon or for 50 yard line tickets to see (insert favorite team here). Nah just kidding, I can't fault anyone for what love will make them do because when you find "The One" you're down for whatever. I was on an email thread that talked about this, mostly guys and they were giving him the business for this. Saying he set himself up because now his fiance will expect bigger and better for the wedding but I would have to think he knew what kind of woman he had on his hands (one that would be happy with that big a#$ engagement) because how in the heck can he top that?

Maybe Robert's a mastermind. He knew the publicity it would drum up, every black woman in America has seen these pictures, he's been on TV and in print and now all he has to do is sit back and wait for an offer to come in from BET or TVOne for a televised wedding or even better a reality TV show that covers all costs. Whatever happens the Black and Married With Kids crew wishes them the best of luck. Marriage is good when you're married to the right person.[3]

Question: What do you think? Is there such a thing as going to far for an engagement?

Remember The Ritz [The World-Famous Photo Gallery]

Since The [Gray and Williams' Personal Site]

How romantic! Couple famous after proposal [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

More From

[1] Personally, I don't fault the young fella for how he proposed. Black love is wonderful. We need more Robert Grays and fewer Kwame Kilpatricks.

[2] And just in case you're wondering, AB did it REAL BIG when he proposed to AS. Not BIG meaning expensive, but BIG meaning thought and consideration.

[3] Amen.

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