Monday, March 31, 2008

AverageBro Goes To The Movies: Three Can Play That Game

[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Thankfully this movie went straight-to-DVD, sparing me the indignity of blowing $40 or hanging out in the barbershop for a free view.]

The whole "urban romantic drama" genre jumped the shark a few years back when awful movies like Breakin' All The Rules and Brown Sugar finally proved that Black America was getting tired of watching Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union in every other movie. Since then, black comedy has shifted largely to church-centric coonfests a la Tyler Perry, rendering this old reliable formula of date night flicks obsolete.

Oddly enough, one of my favorite movies of this period actually did include Chesnut and Union, along with Vivica A. Fox and the always entertaining Anthony Anderson (who has since graduated to dramatic roles). 2001's Two Can Play That Game was about a LA ad-exec named Shante Smith (Fox) who hatched a 10-point plan to get her philandering man (Chesnut) back in line. It obviously wasn't Oscar material, but it was a tasteful movie with enough laughs to warrant repeat views when each time it airs on TNT, which is pretty frequently.

Peep one of my favorite scenes here. Sorry, but the language might not be safe for cubicle dwellers.

Anyways, while Anderson's career has taken off, the same can't be said for the movie's other stars. Fox is best known for briefly dating 50 Cent and undergoing a series of horrifying plastic surgeries. Chesnut tried to drop his prettyboy image and become a villain/bad guy in awful movies like Half Past Dead, failed miserably, and ended up doing chitin' circuit plays. Union still works, but is perhaps most notable for (allegedly) having ruined the marriage of NBA player Dwyane Wade.

So, when I heard there was a sequel, the aptly titled Three Can Play That Game, I figured it wouldn't be much of a problem getting the band back together. It's not exactly like they've got much better things to do. But of course, this being Hollywood and all, only Fox shows up for Three Can Play, and in a greatly reduced role. Oh, and the movie never even made it to theaters, instead heading to the celluloid graveyard of Straight-To-DVD releases. Losing an original's main star (Anderson) and skipping theaters is usually a surefire recipe for disaster, but Three Can Play is a pleasantly good movie that deserves consideration for your next weekend Netflix queue.

Three Can Play follows Shante, who has ditched the corporate hustle and moved to Atlanta to start her own "relationship consulting firm" where she essentially teaches her "keep him in line" tactics to women for an exorbitant fee. When Tiffany (Ice Cube's wife in Barbershop) catches her man Byron (Eve's boyfriend from Eve) in the throes of passion with his new boss (the wife from The Bernie Mac Show) Carla, she hires Shante to help her whip Bryon into shape and towards the altar. But Bryon's best friend (Tony Rock, Chris' younger brother from All Of Us) Gizzard adopts the Anthony Anderson role, advising Byron with counters to all of Shante's moves. In the end, will Byron choose his Apprentice-like career or love and happiness with Tiffany?

You're probably not enthused with the review thus far, but trust me, this movie's worth the rental, even if you never saw the original. Unlike today's Madea-fests, this movie is a reasonably intelligent romantic comedy about why some men won't commit and the lengths some women will go to to drag them down the aisle. Fox is pretty likable, which can't be said for most of her recent movies. The UPN/WB-All Stars supporting cast is a collection of folks whose faces you know with names you don't, but somehow the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I don't know if that analogy made any sense, but just take my word for it. Notorious hater that I am, if I say a movie's a good mindless way of blowing an evening at home, just trust me and do it.

Three Can Play That Game somewhat dispels the notion that sequels, especially those that go Straight To Blockbuster can't be just as entertaining (if not better) as the movies that proceeded them. It's a smart comedy with a storybook ending that deserves your $4. Throw it in your Netflix cue and enjoy.

Final Verdict: It's very possible that I'm giving this movie more credit than it deserves because I expected it to suck royally and was surprised that it didn't. Still, there's something to be said for a black comedy that you can watch without cringing or having What's Happenin' Now? and 227 flashbacks. Put it in your Netflix queue already. 3 Stars (Out of 5)

Three Can Play That Game [imdb]

Friday, March 28, 2008

Rebb'n Manning vs Sean Hannity: BloodSport II

This has to be most vile and disgusting 12 minutes and 32 seconds in the history of all television, evar! But watch the whole thing anyway, it's strangely amusing.

America's Favorite Hater, Pastor David Manning was on last night's episode of FauxNews' Hannity and Colmes defending his criticisms of Barack Obama. Never mind the fact that Manning absolutely makes no sense whatsoever, that's beyond the point.

Instead, pay attention to the suddenly saintly Sean Hannity, who "comes to Obama's defense".

Yes, Sean Hannity is sticking up for Obama, telling Manning not to "get personal" and that "Obama's family is off limits". This has to be the biggest crock of bullsh*t I've ever heard.

My "No Politricks Fast" begins Sunday, so I listened to the Sean Hannity Radio Show on my way home from work yesterday. This guy spent a solid 15 minutes calling Michelle Obama everything short of an America-Hating Whore. He constantly calls Obama to task for being dishonest and misleading the American people because of his 20 year relationship with a "racist hate mongerer" like Jeremiah Wright. Yet, suddenly I'm supposed to buy the fact that Hannity thinks it's wrong for David Manning to absentmindedly talk greasy about the man when Hannity just finished spending the whole day doing the same thing?

Wigga Please!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if you don't watch or listen to conservative media, you should. Not for the hosts, but specifically for the callers that take the time every day to dial-in and agree with this kinda bullcrap. These folks are still upset, not just about Rebb'n Wright, but still furious about that urban legend that Obama doesn't recite the pledge or put his hand over his heart.

Yes, folks, this is what we're dealing with in 08'.

The oh-so-obvious Grand Hu$tle here is that Hannity (and Fox) brought on an idiot like Manning to not only set Obama, but the prospect of black people in positions of authority back, period. There's no way a supposedly reputable news organization (sigh) would invite a crackpot of this sort on to discredit John McCain. I am willing to bet once the cameras went off, Hannity graciously thanked Manning for this cluster, patted him on the head, and gave him a Metrocard and $5 for some Gray's Papaya on his way back to Harlem. Also, you gotta love the subliminal message of the Pulpit Politics backdrop behind these idiots. Nice job of lumping Manning right in there with Wright and the rest of the Black Church.

Fox News: Fair and Balanced, indeed.

This whole thing would be kinda funny if there weren't lots (and I mean lots) of people watching it and believing every word of it. And that, my friends, is quite scary.

Question: What did you think of this Fox News Minstrel Show? And since I'm on the topic, can one of my NY peeps tell me if ATLAH is actually a real church that just discovered Youtube or some kinda election year scam?

Hannity Hypocritically Defends Obama [NewsHounds]

Pastor Manning's Website [] Guest Post: How Much Proposal Is Too Much Proposal!!?!?

Really Long Editor's Note: ain't the only blog I read of course. There's lots of other good stuff out there in the black blogosphere, and one of my favorites is My man TheDad and his wife (TheMom) explore the his/hers PoV of various relationship issues on the daily, which isn't really a perspective you get to hear very often. The site's all about uplifting the black family, which as you might suspect, AB is all for. It's the kind of mature blog I'd like to write one day when I grow up.

Anyways, you may have gotten an email about this very unusual proposal out of Atlanta. If not, I'd suggest peeping the photo gallery before you read this drop or it'll all go over your head. My Inner Accountant says this whole event had to cost upwards of $20,000.[1] The photo gallery had become an internet sensation, and the couple has even been name-dropped by Oprah. The question being posed by my guests is "how much is too damn much for a marriage proposal?".[2] I know this isn't the typical topic, but ride with us on this one and show my guests some love you-know-where. Without further adieu....

NOTE: Check out the photo gallery first, then read the Guest Drop.


Robert Gray proposed to his girlfriend Keisha Williams by renting out several suites at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Atlanta, GA. In each suite, he had friends and family waiting for them where they prayed for the couple throughout the proposal. The suites were decorated with rose petals dipped in gold and lit candles everywhere. It was beautiful. I read somewhere that Robert actually rented out his home and stayed with his sister for months in order to save up for this elaborate proposal. The question was asked of BMWK: "How Much is Too Much for a Proposal?... Did he go to far?"

Her View

My answer to that is NO! When I saw the slide show of the proposal, I almost was like I could actually feel the emotions from that was beautiful and moving. She must have felt so special to know that Robert planned that special night with her in mind. Every woman deserves to have someone treat her special just like that. And it does not have to be an expensive gesture...but something that shows that careful thought was put into it. My husband tried to propose to me by the water on Old town Alexandria, VA. After a nice dinner, he wanted us to go for a walk along the water and he was going to propose. I say WAS..because the black girl in me ruined that proposal. He could not get me out of the matter how hard he tried. I was tired and I gave him every excuse in the I am's misty and my hair will get ruined.

Anyway.. we ended up back at his house where he had to improvise. But it was the thought that counted. I was so moved by the fact that he had planned that entire night out.... I felt special. He laughs about it to this day because he could not get me out of that car.

His View

I also almost cried when I saw this... I was thinking what the h#$@ are you doing dropping that money on the proposal!?!? Mannnnnn, use that on the new house or the wedding or the honeymoon or for 50 yard line tickets to see (insert favorite team here). Nah just kidding, I can't fault anyone for what love will make them do because when you find "The One" you're down for whatever. I was on an email thread that talked about this, mostly guys and they were giving him the business for this. Saying he set himself up because now his fiance will expect bigger and better for the wedding but I would have to think he knew what kind of woman he had on his hands (one that would be happy with that big a#$ engagement) because how in the heck can he top that?

Maybe Robert's a mastermind. He knew the publicity it would drum up, every black woman in America has seen these pictures, he's been on TV and in print and now all he has to do is sit back and wait for an offer to come in from BET or TVOne for a televised wedding or even better a reality TV show that covers all costs. Whatever happens the Black and Married With Kids crew wishes them the best of luck. Marriage is good when you're married to the right person.[3]

Question: What do you think? Is there such a thing as going to far for an engagement?

Remember The Ritz [The World-Famous Photo Gallery]

Since The [Gray and Williams' Personal Site]

How romantic! Couple famous after proposal [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

More From

[1] Personally, I don't fault the young fella for how he proposed. Black love is wonderful. We need more Robert Grays and fewer Kwame Kilpatricks.

[2] And just in case you're wondering, AB did it REAL BIG when he proposed to AS. Not BIG meaning expensive, but BIG meaning thought and consideration.

[3] Amen.

Chris Wallace Is A Great American.

[No, not ChrisTOPHER Wallace. The guy above. R.I.P. to B.I.G. though.]

I don't usually like posting pointless videos, but this one's worth a look for anyone fed up with the typical one-sided cable news talking monkeys. And hey, it's Friday.

As you guys know, I'm not particularly fond of conservative talkers like Sean Hannity (a great American whom I'd love to meet in a dark alley), Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage and the like. Listening to them continually spew one-sided and borderline racist sentiments on the daily is good entertainment (which is why I still tune in anyway... Air America Radio sucks! Sorry.) and enlightening (cause lots of folks do indeed think just like this), but ultimately bad for your blood pressure. You know, kinda like watching 106th and Park everyday.

[Editor's Note: With a lull in campaign activity, I'll be taking yet another self-imposed hiatus from Politricks as Usual next week. Expect some Hollyweird, Crap Music, Guest Posts, and TeeVee Sux in the interim. Sorry folks, but I have to do this periodically to keep my sanity.]

Fox News' Chris Wallace goes head to head with his own colleagues on their biased coverage and distortions of a recent Obama radio interview. It's the kinda exchange that those of us who watch such channels and listen to conservative radio could only dream of pulling off.

Ethered! Sonned! Pwned! Cold Carried! Whatever you call it in your hood'.[1]

Of course, this only works because Wallace is white and collects a check from the station. Any other guest would have been shouted off the air and probably had his mic unplugged O'Reilly Factor style.

Still, give the guy props for having the cajones to call out B.S. where he sees it.

Now, if we could only get Juan Williams to grow a pair.

Question: Do you listen to conservative talk radio or watch channels like Fox News? Why?

Dissension Arises at Fox News Over Treatment of Obama [NYTimes]

[1] Or burb, barrio, cul de sac, ranch, whatever's clever.

NCAA or NBA?!?!?

[Editor's Note: Warning! Superficial Sports Talk ahead. Hey, it's Friday!]

Even though The Ides of March are nearly over, everyone's thoroughly enraptured with March Madness, yours truly included. Brackets are filled out. Internet connections are clogged. Work is ditched. Wagers are placed. Hot wings are ingested.

But when you really sit down this stuff, you realize one thing: The Games Suck!

I'm sorry for break this to all ya'll, hell, I'm sorry to break it to myself. But last night, I tuned in to watch my beloved UNC Tarheels win a 68-47 snoozefest over Washington State to advance to the Elite Eight.[1] It easily had to be the most boringest game evar! Yeah, I know, Wazzu plays an intentionally slow game to overcome their lack of talent, but when one team barely has 20 points at the half you know something's wrong. The next game, a contest between Louisville and Tennessee was even worserer. It was at this point that I finally threw in the towel (uhhm, remote) and turned to the Blazers vs Warriors game on TNT.[2]

Both teams are pretty much middle-of-the-road NBA squads. The Warriors are scrapping for a playoff spot, the Blazers haven't been in contention since Kwanzaa. Still, there were rim-rattling dunks, 90-foot outlet passes, 35-foot trifectas, 360-degree hanging layups, and the always unpredictable Stephen Jackson, who's bound to go Ron Artest and whoop some random fan's a$$ at any moment. Needless to say, I never turned back to the NCAA game.

Here, just watch this poster-quality dunk by Portland's Martell Webster. Hot damn!

That was better than ANYTHING I've seen during March Madness all by itself!!! And it was in the second quarter of a meaningless weeknight game!

The NCAA vs NBA debate has been waged for years, usually by purists who think the NBA is the root of all evil. They say the players are overpaid and don't play with any passion or intensity. They say the players are generally unlikeable and criminal minded. They say the games are a never ending series of one-on-oneupmanship, with players who don't even know the basic fundamentals of the game.

I say B.S.

The caliber of athlete in the NBA is 100 zillion times greater than the NCAA. The best NCAA team (my UNC Tarheels) would get absolutely smoked by the worst NBA team (Miami Heat) 10 times out of 10. NBA players are capable, just by virtue of sheer talent, of making plays NCAA athletes can only dream about (see the video above). Yes, the players are highly paid, but do you know how much the owners are making? It's called capitalism. And anyone who thinks NCAA ballers play harder is insane. Yeah, college players get it in come March Madness, but there's nothing that even remotely compares to NBA playoff intensity. You say college players are saints who do it "for the love of the game"? Riiight. Just ask Jerry Tarkanian about that one.

I like both sports, and spend copious amounts of time watching both, but one's clearly the superior product. You can probably guess which side of this debate I'm rollin' with, but I figure it's worth asking you guys for you opinions anyway. You know, this being your blog and all.

Question: Which is the better sport? NBA Basketball or NCAA Basketball?

College basketball? I couldn't care less [Fox Sports]

[1] I've got Carolina winning it all this year.

[2] Go Wizards!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

To Self-Snitch, or Not To Self-Snitch....

....that is the question I posed to you guys last week while breaking down the whole Paterson Channels Ray Charles episode. For those in the dark, recently sworn-in New York Governor David Paterson came out last week and preemptively disclosed that both be and his wife had extramarital affairs during a "period of weakness" a few years back, but have both since moved forward. I asked you guys did you think telling on yourself before others uncover your dirt was the politically astute thing to do.

Most AverageCommenters said Yes, they'd rather find out the dirt firsthand than have it uncovered. I think most of ya'll also agreed that the way Patterson came to power (ie: post-Spitzer Gate) made it necessary to proactively divulge this info. And I guess that makes sense, given the fact that the story died almost immediately. Or maybe that had something to do with Rebb'n Wright dominating the airwaves.

Anyways, knowing that Albany Republicans are smelling blood in the water, Paterson went and dry-snitched on himself again yesterday. And I'm beginning to wonder what the point of all this is, and why it even matters.

Gov. David Paterson said Monday he used cocaine in his 20s and smoked marijuana when he was younger.

In reference to cocaine, Paterson, 53, said in a television interview that he "tried it a couple of times" when he was "about 22 or 23." "And marijuana probably when I was about 20," he said on the NY1 cable news station. "I don't think I touched marijuana since the '70s."

Last week, Paterson and his wife, Michelle Paterson, disclosed they each had committed adultery several years ago during marital strife. The couple were separated for a "couple years" at the time, David Paterson said Monday.

In Monday's interview, Paterson pointed out that he had acknowledged to a television journalist after a 2006 gubernatorial Democratic primary debate that he had used illegal drugs. The NY1 interviewer, Dominic Carter, noted that few people paid attention to Paterson's revelation in 2006 because he was running for lieutenant governor.
On the surface, none of this is particularly Earth shattering. Marital strife is common and given that Paterson wasn't in office at the time, his extramarital dalliances are his own business. At least he didn't lie about it and cost taxpayers $9M in a birdbrained cover-up. And the drug use, well, who the heck hasn't tried weed at least once? Maybe he needed it for his glaucoma, assuming legally blind folks have glaucoma. Cocaine? A bit harsher, granted, but hey, sign of the times. Neither here nor there in my book.

But I'm wondering at what point does Paterson have to quit dry-snitching on himself and just start governing? Yeah, it's true that he's going to be a target given the way Spitzer totally blew the gig before him, but what's next? Is he gonna have to tell about those bootleg Parliament Funkadelic 8-tracks be bought on 125th and Lennox back in 76'? How about the illegal HBO his next door neighbor hooked up in college? Or the times he had his boy who worked the grill at Wendy's hook him up with a Double for the price of a Single in return for rides home from basketball practice.

Ok, so maybe that's just me.

Question: Paterson has told about his past infidelity an drug use, and the public has responded with a collective shrug. Is there anything a politician can self-disclose that would be dishonorable or damaging? Is it always better to tell on yourself first?

N.Y. Governor Admits Past Pot, Cocaine Use [AP]

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I've made a habit of highlighting landmark posts here, but strangely I forgot to do this when we hit #400 awhile back. So, here we are, at #409, which I guess is notable on some level.

I started on April Fool's Day last year, and we've grown steadily from one reader a day (two if you count AverageSisterInLaw) to several hundred. All things considered, it's been a nice ride, and here's to 400, errr, 409 more.

Thanks for rollin' with a Bro'.

Reverend Wright's Full Sermon

[Your eyes do not deceive you. That's who you think it is.]

Well, even after Bosnia-gate, the Rebb'n Wright story still seems to have legs. In fact, after watching Hillary do the classic "but what about Barack's garbage?" maneuver yesterday, I'm more convinced than even that the party faithful will ask her to step down unless she wins PA in a landslide. At some point, it has to become obvious that she's not just doing damage to Barack, but to the entire Democratic Party. Somebody wake Howard Dean up.

The more I've thought about and watched Reverend Wright's sermons, as well as read about him, the more convinced I am that this is a good guy whom they just happened to catch on the wrong day, and hang with the wrong soundbytes. Hell, I'll be honest, in my 30 some years of being in and around the black church (including my current home), I've heard some things (many of which I agree with, some of which I don't) that would make Reverend Wright blush.

The problem with this whole debacle is that it illuminates White America's unwillingness to acknowledge that black folks just might see this country a bit differently. Centuries of enslavement, Jim Crow, Tuskegee Experiments, redlining, George Bush, Katrina, and T-Pain's vocoder tend to have that effect on people. If you surveyed 1,000 black folks (which not surprisingly, no media outlet has done), you'd find that most of us don't consider Wright's comments un-American and unpatriotic (never mind the fact that he's an ex-Marine), mainly because we have a very different definition of patriotism. And it doesn't mean wearing a lapel pin and singing Lee Greenwood songs.

But like I said when this story broke (two whole weeks ago, damn, it's still being talked about half a month later. A 7 year old sermon.), none of that matters. All that matters is 15-20 second soundbites of a black man talking very loud and very angrily. And if that's enough to derail a history making event like the Obama candidacy, then man, we are all up the creek.

Like my pastor said this past Sunday, "If any of ya'll have kids who might run for President one day, you need to find another church right now!"

Sad, but apparently so true. And is it just me, or does anyone else think it's odd that out of 30+ years leading this church and preaching 4+ times a week, this is all they could possibly dig up? That, to me at least, suggests that just maybe Rebb'n Wright doesn't go hard like this every week. I'm just sayin'.

Anyways, for the sake of context, here's an expanded look at the Wright sermon. There are more of these all over YouTube if you wanna piece together the whole thing for yourself. This video shows the full sermon, and provides a lot more context than those 10 second soundbytes being tossed around. Do yourself a favor and watch in it's entirety.

I guess Reverend Wright must not be that bad peoples, or Slick Willie wouldn't have invited him to that infamous "post-Monica" prayer breakfast (see above photo). No wonder Hillary was so mum on this whole thing last week. Of course, when pressed about her own garbage yesterday, she finally brought this up. But did any cable talking head bother mentioning said photo? Of course not.

[Editor's Note: It's times like these when it becomes to bitterly obvious that we need our own black cable news station, or at least some nightly show. You've got an historic election in progress, and watching some nightly show with your PoV would be nice. But TVOne is playing Divorce Court reruns (the ones with Mablean) and BET is just being BET as usual. What a waste! How hard would it be for one of these stations to have a 1/2 hour live nightly show when they discussed the daily developments with a panel of talking heads? It would be literally free since all you need to do is build a set and hire a host. Man, I should be a programming director somewhere.]

Between that photo and this one of the infamous slumlord Rezko, it seems like Billary and Barry have crossed paths more than anyone's letting on.

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"...

Question: Does hearing Rev. Wright's sermon in it's entirety change any of your perceptions of him?

Photograph of Bill Clinton and Rev. Wright Surfaces [NY Times]

Have You Received This Picture In Your Inbox?

I haven't, but that probably has a lot more to do with the circle of folks I know that an indictment about the validity of this being passed around. Either way, it's out there, and nobody's able to vouch for it's origins, but I guess it's just yet another reminder that lots of folks don't like seeing history in the making and are willing to stoop to new lows to try and prevent it from happening.

Question: How much do these types of political smears upset you? Do you think a person's extended family is fair game in an election season?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Hillary Gets Caught In A Little White Lie

[Yep, I smell a rat too, homegirl.]

You probably noticed Hillary Clinton laying low during that whole Rebb'n Wright dilemma, and given the fact that Wright was a post-Monica guest at the White House, I suppose it made sense. Still, if we're 100% honest, the media has yet to really Swift Boat Hillary on much of anything. Sure, she's been under occasional fire for the way she and her surrogates have run their campaign to date, but few of the many potential bombshells of her past life have been mentioned yet. You know, minor stuff like Marc Rich, her past Republican affiliation, Saul Alinsky, Whitewater, and all the other miscellaneous garbage that McCain and Co. will use to ether discredit her should she somehow become the Democratic nominee.

So much for that one. CBS News is reporting that a story Hillary commonly tells on the stump to inflate illustrate her foreign policy experience is nothing more than a BOLDFACED LIE an embellishment.
It was supposed to be an example of Hillary Rodham Clinton's battle-tested experience: "I remember landing under sniper fire," Clinton said at a recent campaign event.

It started when, in a recent speech, Clinton spoke of her visit to Tuzla, Bosnia, in 1996 as first lady. The brutal war was over, but hostilities continued. And though the trip was exactly 12 years ago Tuesday, the memories seemed etched in Clinton's mind.

"There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base," she said.

Problem is: that's not how it happened at all. And we should know: CBS News investigative correspondent Sharyl Attkisson and a CBS News crew accompanied the First Lady on that Bosnia trip.

A photograph shows Clinton talking to Attkisson on the military flight into Tuzla.

And pictures CBS News recorded show the greeting ceremony when the plane landed.
Peep this video. Yep, looked really dangerous to me, Hill.

And to think, she even has her daughter on the stump telling this exact same lie. Shame, shame, shame!
But there was no sniper fire either when Clinton visited two army outposts, where she posed for photos. And no sniper fire back at the base, where she sang in a USO show starring Sinbad and Sheryl Crowe.

Asked about the issue during a meeting with the Philadelphia Daily News' editorial board on Monday, Clinton said she "misspoke."

"I went to 80 countries, you know. I gave contemporaneous accounts, I wrote about a lot of this in my book. You know, I think that, a minor blip, you know, if I said something that, you know, I say a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement," she said.
A misstatement, you say? Sorta like that whole "chickens come home to roost" thing, huh?

This isn't new news to any black folks who've had their ear to the ground in recent weeks. Didn't washed up comedian Sinbad essentially say the same thing just last month? And given the complete and utter lack of documentation of what she did during her 8 years "in office", is it fair to say Clinton isn't nearly as 'qualified and experienced" as she wants us all to think? Hell, Obama's been an elected official for a longer time anyways.

I suppose I should be dancing in my seat [||] now that this story is becoming Clinton's own personal Rebb'n Wright in the news cycles today, but part of me knows it won't. If the handful of conservative talking monkeys that I sampled on my commute in this morning are any indication, I doubt it.

Nope, lying about your 35 years of experience pales in comparison to having attended a typical black church for 20 years. Most of the callers said this was bad, but didn't compare to that "race mongering Anti-American preacher" that Obama associates with.

And that, in a nutshell tells you everything you need to know about what's wrong with this country?

Question: How will Hillary try and spin this one? Which story is worse in your eyes? Bosnia or Rebb'n Wright?

CBS News Video Contradicts Clinton's Story [CBS]


Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick: Cheater, Seedy Politician, and Murderer!??

I'm sure you folks are pretty tired of the Saga Of The Hip Hop Mayor, but it seems like Kwame Kilpatrick is nearing the end of his rope. The charges were finally filed today, and it looks like ya' boy better start practicing the fine art of soap holding.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy charged Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and former chief of staff Christine Beatty today with perjury, obstruction, conspiracy and misconduct. Kilpatrick said that he expects "full and complete vindication."

The mayor's attorney, Dan Webb, said the mayor will be found innocent of the charges and will not resign. Webb said he has instructed Kilpatrick to not respond to reporters’ questions. It wasn't immediately clear when the mayor and Beatty would turn themselves in to be booked and later arraigned on the charges in 36th District Court in Detroit. They could be arraigned as early as 1 p.m. Tuesday.

Kilpatrick, 38, serving his seventh year in office, is the first Detroit mayor to face criminal charges while still in office. The perjury charge carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison.
Kwame Kilpatrick, a true debit to his race.

But Hizzoner's problems are only beginning.

I'm no conspiracy theorist, so I haven't bothered trying to make any connection between the Kilpatrick's current issues and the now-deceased stripper Strawberry (pictured above), whom the mayor's wife famously assaulted after a (rumored) wild party at the Mayoral Manoogian Mansion. Apparently, the journalistic integrity of the Detroit Free Press is a bit more liberal. The last thing you'd catch me doing is implying that a public official put a hit out on an exotic dancer. This article from late last week seems to do just that, but doesn't go all the way and connect the dots. It's damn close though.
Fearing for her life, Tamara Greene turned to the man she knew affectionately as “Dad” and told him: “Some people are out to kill me.”

The man she confided in was the Rev. Ken Hampton, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Detroit, in a conversation six months before her April 30, 2003 death. If true, Hampton’s statements in an affidavit could discredit a theory that Greene was killed as a result of a hotel party and fight about two weeks before she was gunned down.

Greene is the stripper known as Strawberry rumored to have danced at the never-proven Manoogian Mansion party in the fall of 2002. According to most versions of the rumor, the party occurred around Labor Day in 2002. Hampton said he and Greene spoke a month or two later, but he has no knowledge of her connection to the rumored party.

Greene, 27, was shot three times and died April 30, 2003, as she was parking her Buick Skylark on Roselawn near West Outer Drive.

Last week Joyce Rogers, a retired Detroit police clerk, came forward in an affidavit to say she saw a police report Greene had filed in 2002. In the report, which has not surfaced, Rogers said, Greene alleged that the mayor’s wife, Carlita Kilpatrick, assaulted her with a wooden object at the Manoogian after seeing Greene improperly touch the mayor and that Greene was sent to a hospital for treatment.
Let's keep it real; there's little redeeming about Kilpatrick. He was given the world on a platter (simply by virtue of being born with the right last name) and he handed it back covered in chicken grease and loose singles. By lying about a simple affair (not excusing his behavior of course), and firing the wrong person to cover it up, he cost the ailing city of Detroit $9M. He is obviously a bonehead who deserves to do time for his misdeeds.

On the other hand, trying to tie the man (or possibly his wife) to a murder strikes me a downright callous for a semi-reputable newspaper.

Question: Assuming you read the article first, do you get the impression that the Detroit Free Press is implying Kilpatrick had something to do with Strawberry's murder, or is my third eye just blind today? If you're from The "D", and know something I don't, please chime in you-know-where.

Tamara Greene feared for her life, reverend says in affidavit [FreeP]

Mayor, Beatty charged with perjury, conspiracy, misconduct [FreeP]

Sunday, March 23, 2008

AverageBro Goes To The Movies: Tyler Perry's Meet The Browns

[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]

Okay, he got me this time.

Silly of me to think that after turning a corner with a string of semi-decent movies like Daddy's Little Girls and Why Did I Get Married?, Tyler Perry would keep the streak alive with his latest offering, Meet The Browns. I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run amok, and I have nobody to blame but myself.

When I saw this trailer, I shoulda known better.

All the elements of a truly bad black movie were right there, but did I listen to my Inner Negro? Nooooo.

I remember seeing some of the stage play that this movie is based loosely on when my relatives bought the bootleg from Detroit a few summers back. It was so godawful I had to leave the house. If only movies came with some kinda money back guarantee. Then I coulda just left the theater on G.P.

The plot, which seems cribbed from about 20 different episodes of Good Times, features Angela Bassett as Brenda, a Chicago single mom of 3 kids by 3 different dads, none of whom is present. Rather than trying to make some statement of how bad this woman's choices are, the flick delves right into the typical "Triflin' Nigga/BabyDaddy with a family on the other side of town" angle to make you feel somehow bad for Brenda, who can't keep the lights on when she loses her factory job, yet always seems to have a fresh hairdo and tight gear. Brenda finds out her father (whom, surprise, she's never met before) died in Georgia, and packs up her clan to go down South to the funeral. There she meets a gaggle of long-lost and unknown relatives, and finds herself and her hoops prodigy son courted by a seedy coach played by ex-NBA Baller and Mr. Vanessa Williams, Rick Fox.

Sorry, I can't even write this review with a straight face, just like I couldn't manage to watch this lazily manufactured "drama" without laughing uncontrollable at times. Reality is, I couldn't help but watch this cluster and think about just how badly Angela Bassett's career has careened out of control. Here's a woman that deserved an Academy Award for What's Love Got To Do With It?, reduced to Loretta Devine status, and her "mail it in" performance shows she clearly just wanted some pocket money. The dialogue in this movie, even during the rare serious parts is so hackneyed a 3rd grader could have written it. The clichés (teenage son who does poorly in school, plays basketball, deals drugs, and is the man of the house; the saucy and stereotypically oversexed Latina best friend; the stumbling bumbling non-talking Southern patriarch, the all-knowing "Big Mama") are piled on heavy. You can sniff out the formulaic storybook ending while the popcorn's still warm.

I expected James Evans, Penny, and Bookman to pop up at any moment.

Since I'm somewhat on topic, how about I get this one off my chest... what's with the horrible depictions of black men in every one of Tyler Perry's movies? Okay, we get it Tyler, all black men are cheating, lying, child support dodging canines who secretly covet white women. We get it, we get it, we get it already! Black men ain't sh*t! Okay, message delivered! But do you have to rub this in our faces during every damn movie? If I wanted to be insulted, I could just save the $40 and watch Fox News for a few hours.

And is it just me, or does anyone else notice that the only unflawed black males characters in all Tyler Perry movies are played by... guess who... wait for it... Tyler Perry? Hmmmmmm. I smell a Grand Hu$tle here.

In short, this movie was sooo bad on sooo many levels, and I guess it proves either of two things:

A) I'm just too smart for this kinda dumb movie.


B) AverageSis is right, I can't just "be in the moment" and enjoy something for what it is.

If you saw Meet the Browns, you tell me which one's the right answer.

If you didn't see Meet The Browns, please wait for Netflix. If you just wanna burn $20 that badly, buy an t-shirt.

Final Verdict: If your neighbor has the bootleg, borrow it. If you've gotta see it, at least go to the matinee. Then again, if you watched the trailer and liked it, go see it, because while I thought the movie sucked, the rest of the theater seemed to enjoy it. Maybe it's just me. 2 Stars (Out of 5)

Tyler Perry's Meet The Browns [Yahoo! Movies]

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Obama Vs Clinton: BloodSport

Hilarious cyber-debate here. Some NSFW language, don't say I didn't warn you.

Thanks for c.R for sending this one in.

More Nightly Potato Episodes [YouTube]

Friday, March 21, 2008

Sleep With Me, Girl. I'll Make You Famous! (Coming Soon to WifeTime™ Movies For Women?)

Just when you thought the sordid saga of America's Favorite Hooker was going away, this sad story just keeps spreading growing legs.

A $1 million offer to the call girl linked to former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was rescinded because she'd already shot footage for "Girls Gone Wild." Now it might be the video maker who will lose out.

A lawyer for Ashley Alexandra Dupre, now 22, told The Associated Press on Wednesday that Dupre was 17 when the footage was filmed. After hearing from her attorney, the company said the video's Internet release will be delayed.

"Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis originally reached out to Dupre, offering $1 million for her to appear in a non-nude spread for his company's new magazine and a chance to join the "Girls Gone Wild" tour bus.

But on Tuesday "Girls Gone Wild" employees found archived footage of Dupre filmed in 2003, and Francis retracted the offer.

In a statement Wednesday, Francis said he had received an e-mail from Dupre's lawyer Don Buchwald, saying Dupre may have been 17 in the videos shot in Miami and not 18 as Francis had first claimed.

Buchwald added in the e-mail that Francis was aware of Dupre's age during the filming.

Francis said he bought Dupre a Greyhound bus ticket back home to North Carolina in 2003. Dupre returned home after she spent a week on the "Girls Gone Wild" bus in Miami and filmed seven full-length tapes, which included nudity, after signing legal papers, the company said.
I don't know who's the more disgusting character here. Francis, who's the biggest greaseball on the planet, or Dupre, who is clearly cookin' up a story about being underaged at the time so she can milk this cow [||] for all it's worth. Considering the fact that she claims she didn't even know it was Governor Spitzer she was "servicing" all along, I guess it's fair to say she might have forgotten about this whole GGW thing years ago and doesn't want anyone else profiting from it. Dupre's just forgetful like that.

Call it seller's remorse.

Either way, I think it's fair to say this shoots a hole in Dupre's "good girl gone astray" sob story. What kinda feminists would the fine folks at WifeTime Movie Network be if they reward a woman who's habitually turned tricks for years with a "story of tribulations and redemption"?

And since you're prolly wondering, I'll go ahead and throw it out there... yes, I watch LifeTime movies! Often. Only the suspense ones of course, not the sappy romantic crap. The names change (Murder for Hire, She Cried Alone, A Stranger In My Bed, She Never Knew, Distant Killer, etc.) but the plots are always the same. Tell me I'm wrong...

Successful yet distant woman (usually Tori Spelling or some other 90210 alum) is scorned by unfaithful and callous husband (always a much older guy with a $400 haircut). Unfaithful and callous husband somehow gets killed. Successful yet distant woman falls for ruggedly handsome detective (usually a younger guy with a $300 haircut and scraggy "police" beard) investigating unfaithful and callous husband's mysterious death. Suddenly fragile and vulnerable, successful yet distant woman sleeps with ruggedly handsome detective. Successful yet distant woman stumbles upon evidence that ruggedly handsome detective might could have something to do with unfaithful and callous husband's demise. Ruggedly handsome detective comes to kill successful yet distant woman. Successful yet distant woman somehow finds a knife/gun and kills ruggedly handsome detective. Successful yet distant woman finds out ruggedly handsome detective did indeed kill unfaithful and callous husband, and is suddenly wistful and regrets she never forgave him. Fast forward one year and successful yet distant woman has new hairdo and is sipping hot tea outdoors somewhere in the Pacific Northwest (always/actually/just Vancouver,BC). Roll the credits, and cue the next formulaic film.

Say what you want, but if all you've got is basic cable (by choice), watching WifeTime's formulaic "thrillers" is about as close to entertaining TV as you get. So shoot me.

Anyways, Francis and Dupre deserve each other, but neither deserves to profit from this sham any more than they already have. Just get lost already.

And spray some Lysol behind you on the way out.

Question: Should Dupre still be able to profit from this nonsense after this latest revelation? Did you lose a little respect for AB now that you know he likes WifeTime movies? Or do you actually watch WifeTime movies yourself, and if so, was my description of those formulaic suspense/thrillers dead-on or what?

Film of Spitzer Call Girl in Question [AP]

Why You Should Never Ask A Rapper About Politricks: Exhibit D

Okay, I know this is completely trivial, but hey, it's a Friday.

Washed-up rapper DMX was recently interviewed by XXL Magazine about a number of topics. And in his classic bipolar style, he ranted and raved about all sorts of unrelated issues. Then the interviewer did the inevitable. He asked DMX about this year's presidential race, giving me yet another installment in my running Why You Should Never Ask A Rapper About Politricks series.

The interview itself is worth the extra 5 minutes if you want a good laugh, but here's just an excerpt.

XXL: Are you following the presidential race?
DMX: Not at all.

XXL: You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.
DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.
DMX: What the f*ck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

XXL: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
DMX: Barack Obama?

XXL: Yeah.
DMX: What the f*ck?! That ain’t no f*ckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that n*gga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the f*ck outta here.

XXL: You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
DMX: I ain’t really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
DMX: Wow, Barack! The n*gga’s name is Barack. Barack? N*gga named Barack Obama. What the f*ck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his f*ckin’ name. Ima tell this n*gga when I see him, “Stop that bullsh*t. Stop that bullsh*t” [laughs] “That ain’t your f*ckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

XXL: So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
DMX: Nope.
Oddly they didn't bother asking him for tips on how to make a great Egg Sandwich at 7-11.[1] That mighta been more entertaining. And I guess we should cut Earl Simmons some slack since he can't actually vote anyway, due to the fact that he's been systematically disenfranchised and whatnot.

There's not really any point to this post, and thus no real question, but it just makes me wonder why those in the media even bother asking people like DMX, or Britney Spears (who gave an infamous endorsement of President Bush a few years back) what they think about real life issues.

Honestly, who cares?

DMX - Here I Am Interview [XXLMag]

Why You Should Never Ask A Rapper About Politricks: Exhibit A

Why You Should Never Ask A Rapper About Politricks: Exhibit B

[1] Cyber Capri Suns to the first person who can tell me all about that infamous Egg Sandwich.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Is Lil' Romeo Stealing A Scholarship!??

[Editor's Note: Yeah, I know. This isn't exactly a weighty topic on the surface. Read it anyway. There's a point.]

Although I'm a completely obsessed with sports, but you probably wouldn't know it since I don't usually talk sports on this blog. I don't, mainly because I know I have a lot of female readers, and I doubt ya'll come here to read 25 Washington Wizards posts a day. Still, when I run across a story like this one in the Wall Street Journal, I like to share it with ya'll because, hey, some sports stories are bigger than sports.

I spend a good deal of my non-blog time coaching youth league basketball, albeit at a much lower level than the subject of this story. Still, even as early as middle school, I hear lots of parents (although not necessarily the parents of my 2-wins and 6-losses squad. Nobody's fooling themselves here) talk incessantly about how they want their child to develop their game so they can one day go to college for free. This is hardly just a basketball phenomenon, though. Parents sink tens of thousands of dollars annually into summer camps, personal trainers, and traveling teams for their kids, all in hopes that it will one day pay off in the form of a free ride.

So imagine if your kid played AAU ball for years, spent entire summers on the road, got up at the crack of dawn to practice, and then ended up missing out on a scholarship to the child of a millionaire who can barely even dribble the ball.

Sad, but true.

Romeo Miller is a 5-foot-10 point guard with a bad knee. He has never played a full season of high-school basketball. This season, he averaged just 8.6 points a game for Beverly Hills High School, which finished last in its league.

But next fall, the 18-year-old will suit up for the University of Southern California, a program in the tough Pac-10 conference. And he will receive a full basketball scholarship valued at $44,400 a year.

The scholarship, which is the talk of college recruiters, is a perfect L.A. story, intermingling money, show business and basketball. Besides being an average point guard, Mr. Miller is an actor and singer known as Lil' Romeo, and the son of a wealthy music mogul. Some question whether the Millers took advantage of their resources -- and their relationship with Demar DeRozan of Compton, Calif., one of the top high-school basketball players in America -- to win the scholarship over more talented and less privileged athletes.
Lots of other schools are salty about this, not because they wanted Lil' Romeo (he could prolly play in the CIAA or MEAC but that's about it), but because Derozan and Miller are a package deal and few colleges had the extra scholarship to be bothered with both. USC, which is turning into a one-and-done factory nowadays, obviously had no such concerns so they doled out an extra full ride to the marginal rapper, who is even less impressive on the court.

The obvious goal here was to sign Derozan (pictured above on right just in case you're wondering), a jaw dropping athlete who will fill seats, and whom many are calling the next Vince Carter. He probably won't stay at school beyond his freshman year. Meanwhile, although NCAA scholarships are renewable, not guaranteed for four years, reality is the Trojans will be saddled with a wasted roster spot for Lil' Romeo as a result.

Considering the fact that a full ride is worth a cool quarter mill, you wonder if that slot might have been better off given to someone who actually needed the money, as opposed to a kid who could easily pay his tuition by just selling off a car or two.

You guys know me, I'm seldom the type to choose an absolute side on any issue, so I can definitely see this from both angles. Kids of privilege are given scholarships (albeit not necessarily full rides) for academics, as well as other non-revenue generating sports (think field hockey, lacrosse, swimming, crew, etc.) all the time, so this really isn't that big of a deal. And reality is, any player good enough to be recruited by USC is probably going to get a full ride to some other comparable school anyway, so nobody's really being left out in the cold here. To wit, note this item in the same article.
USC Coach Tim Floyd says his staff had Mr. Miller on their radar before Mr. DeRozan signaled his interest. He describes Romeo as a "good little player" who must improve to get court time. Fame was a factor, he adds. "The more buzz you can create, the more news stories you can create, the better served you are as a program."

That doesn't sit well with Don Wetherell. His son Ryan, a 5-foot-11 guard, was one of the best high-school players in Canada and earned a walk-on spot at USC the last two seasons. Mr. Wetherell says he asked the USC staff how Mr. Miller's arrival would affect his son, who had been told that he had a "good shot" at a scholarship next year. He says they told him Ryan may still get the award -- and that Mr. Miller got his because of his relationship with Mr. DeRozan. (Mr. Floyd could not be reached for comment.) "We're learning a lot," says Mr. Wetherell, who owns a beverage company in Calgary.
Uhhhmmm, was it just me, or did anyone else notice that this kid's father owns a beverage company.

Pot, meet kettle.

Juxtapose this whole charade with an interesting article in the NY Times the other day that dispels the myth of all these "full rides" being given out for college athletes. The truth is, beyond football and men's basketball, very few people are getting a "full ride". Most are just getting taken for a ride.
At youth sporting events, the sidelines have become the ritual community meeting place, where families sit in rows of folding chairs aligned like church pews. These congregations are diverse in spirit but unified by one gospel: heaven is your child receiving a college athletic scholarship.

Parents sacrifice weekends and vacations to tournaments and specialty camps, spending thousands each year in this quest for the holy grail.

But the expectations of parents and athletes can differ sharply from the financial and cultural realities of college athletics, according to an analysis by The New York Times of previously undisclosed data from the National Collegiate Athletic Association and interviews with dozens of college officials.

Excluding the glamour sports of football and basketball, the average N.C.A.A. athletic scholarship is nowhere near a full ride, amounting to $8,707. In sports like baseball or track and field, the number is routinely as low as $2,000. Even when football and basketball are included, the average is $10,409. Tuition and room and board for N.C.A.A. institutions often cost between $20,000 and $50,000 a year.
Interesting stuff for the parent of any child in youth sports. Reality is, you'd be much better off locking Junior in his room and having him work in quadratic equations than spend weekends on his crossover dribble. Academic scholarships are much easier to come by than athletic ones. Just some food for thought.

Question: Is Lil' Romeo wrong for working the system and getting that full ride to USC, when his talent doesn't warrant it, and his family's wealth makes it unnecessary?

A Hot Prospect? [WSJ]

Expectations Lose to Reality of Sports Scholarships [NY Times]

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

While The World Was Obsessed With Rebb'n Wright...

[Guess Who's Back?!?!]

...Hillary's long lost White House schedules were finally released today.

chirp chirp.... [that's crickets ya'll]

Peep the facts, and as usual, forgive the excessive cut and pasting.
Federal archivists on Wednesday released 11,000 pages of schedules from Hillary Rodham Clinton's eight years as first lady, but the material offers little to support her assertion that her White House experience left her best prepared to become president.

The records show her to be an active first lady who traveled widely and was deeply involved in healthcare policy, but they are rife with omissions, terse references and redactions that obscure many of her activities and the identities of those she saw.

For months, Sen. Clinton has faced calls to speed the release of about 2 million pages of material covering her time as first lady. The records are stored at her husband's presidential library in Little Rock, Ark. But it seems doubtful that the schedules made public Wednesday will satisfy those who argue that Clinton touts her experience in her husband's White House, yet refuses to offer details about her precise role.

The records span some of the most historically rich and well-documented chapters in the Clinton presidency, including Bill Clinton's affair with a White House intern, Monica S. Lewinsky; Hillary Clinton's failed healthcare initiative; and her role in the dismissal of several employees in the White House travel office. But in many cases, the documents refer only to "private meetings" and do little to illuminate the dramatic events unfolding at the time.

When it came to overseas travel, the papers show that Clinton did spend some time conferring with foreign leaders on strategic issues. But they suggest she spent a lot more time fulfilling the traditional role of the first lady: meeting the leaders' wives and focusing on women's and children's issues.

Clinton has pointed to a March 1996 trip to Bosnia and other parts of Europe as an example of what she said were the dangerous assignments she took. The records show that on that trip, she did speak to the Bosnian president, as well as to German and Turkish leaders.

But she also socialized with leaders' wives, listened to children read poetry, visited archaeological and religious sites, met with women's groups, and looked on as singer Sheryl Crow and comedian Sinbad entertained U.S. troops.

Those mining the records for deeper insights into Clinton's activities may be disappointed.
35 Years of Experience, huh?

"We Don't Believe You, You Need More People!"[1]

Hill's steady spoken about her 35 years of experience, and the fact that she's already Presidential by virtue of simply sleeping with the President for 8 years. If that's true, then I guess Gennifer Flowers is at least qualified to be CHIEF OF STAFF!!!

And speakin' of White House jumpoffs, how about this fine nugget that also surfaced yesterday.
Hillary Rodham Clinton was home in the White House on a half dozen days when her husband had sexual encounters there with intern Monica Lewinsky, according to Sen. Clinton's schedule, released Wednesday among 11,000 pages of papers from her years as first lady.

The words of the schedules are dry, but they take on emotional weight when coupled with revelations about the sex scandal that eventually came to light. A year later, the first lady's schedules show her pressing ahead with public events and showing her face as revelations about the scandal upended her life and threatened Bill Clinton's presidency.

On Nov. 15, 1995, the first lady went to a mid-afternoon "meet & greet" photo opportunity at the White House with Nobel Laureates and their families. That night, Lewinsky had what she later said was her first sexual encounter with the president, in the private study off the Oval office.

On Jan. 21, 1996, the first lady and the president privately toured an exhibit at the National Gallery of Art. That afternoon, Lewinsky said, she and Bill Clinton had a sexual encounter in the hallway by the private study.

The schedules indicate she was home on at least two other days when her husband and the intern got together.

Twice, Mrs. Clinton was overseas at such times.
Slick Willie indeed.

Ok, I know, that had absolutely nothing to do with the race of course, but what kinda blogger would I be if I didn't throw it in there, solely for entertainment value?

Question: Will these new revelations about Hillary's lack of experience become the race's next smokin' gun? And damn, is that Bill Clinton crafty or what?

Hillary Clinton's schedules shed little light on work as first lady [LA Times]

Hillary Clinton home at time of affair [AP]

[1] Cyber Capri Suns to the first person who can tell me the source of this quotable.

What's Wrong With This Picture?!??!

I'm just now warming up to this whole LeBron James phenomenon. Forgive me for being about 5 years late to the party, but watching Bron Bron render your playoff tickets worthless each May tends to have that effect. Still, over time, I've come to accept and appreciate the young fella for being the embodiment of all that's good about sports. He plays hard. He respects the game. He keeps his nose clean. He speaks semi-decent English. No baby moms drama. I'm just sayin', home team hatred aside, what's not to like?

So, watching dude expand his media empire into awards galas and over-the-hill late night sketch comedy shows has been interesting to say the least. His ESPY gig was inspiring. SNL? Uhhh, not so much, but that's hardly King James' fault. When I heard that he would be the coverboy for an upcoming issue of Vogue, I didn't think too much of this since, well, let's face it, Vogue ain't exactly on AB's must-read list. But then I heard (via the fine folks at Racialicious) that this was somewhat significant since black men, or men at all (or blacks at all) for that matter seldom have such a privilege. So, I guess I was a little intrigued.

Then I saw the cover...


Look at the photo above, then look at this sh*t.

Intentional or mere coincidence?

I'm just sayin'. This is a fashion magazine, right (I don't know, I'm just assuming here)? So why is dude on the cover mean muggin' with a waifish white(ish) chick on his hip? And why the hell is he dressed in all black? And what's up with the ball? Is that posed' to be some sorta phallic symbol or something?

Ok, clearly I could be reaching here, but how many other covers of any magazine have you seen with such ludicrous covers? Why couldn't they suit him up GQ style? He's recognizable enough as a non-sports entity by now, so why the ball? And the athletic gear? And the crouching? And the noticeably uncomfortable woman? And the grimace? Sheez!

Here's a classy image. Why didn't they just use this same concept? Really.

I'm just sayin', that picture just doesn't look right. What do ya'll think?

Question: Do ya'll think the Vogue cover is a little out of bounds or is AB cynical after a week of this Rebb'n Wright jibberjabber?

Vogue calls on LeBron [Sports Illustrated]

Are Black Clinton Supporters SellOuts?: An MultiMedia Exposé

Back when this election started in early 07' (seemingly ages ago), I heard some Obama supporters screaming that anyone who didn't support their candidate was an Uncle Tom or Aunt Jemima. Naturally, I thought this was B.S. Even though I support Obama myself, it's insane to think that black people have to support a black candidate or risk having their Ghetto Pass revoked. Such a line of thinking basically boils us all down to extra melanin and kinky hair, more or less discounting a person's ability to comprehend issues and make their own judgements on character.

A year later, though, I'm starting to see where those folks were coming from. Sorta. Since the Clintons felt Barry's breath on the back of their necks in the late Fall and started race baiting, we've been presented with mountains of evidence that basically say they're just out to get votes and don't give a sh*t about the black people they sacrifice along the way. You can attribute Obama's meteoric rise in black support to his character and policies, or simply as evidence that black folks like jumping on a winning bandwagon just as much as the next man. But you'd be hard pressed to convince me that these constant Clinton attacks on the sense and sensibility of Black America didn't help in some minor way.

That leads me to my current point of view. Despite all the damning evidence I'm about to present, everytime I turn on the TV lately, I still see the Clintons surrounded by throngs of happy, smiling, and occasionally shuffling black folks, usually in a church of some sort. Although Obama is grabbing 4 out of every 5 black votes, there are still plenty of us willing to get on TV and stand behind (always behind) Billary, grinning like we just hit PowerBall. And I wonder what these black people are thinking in the back of their minds.

I assume it's still possible that many blacks support Hillary because they feel her experience is superior (although it's notable that she's been an elected official for less time than Obama). Some of these folks might feel she has a better stance on various issues (never mind the fact that both candidates' views are essentially identical across the board). Some may feel she's more electable (although virtually every current poll says otherwise). Others may still think her husband is owed this as the First Black President (and I naturally think these Negroes should just kill themselves. Life isn't getting any easier).

But even if you do support her for any of various reasons, at some point, doesn't all the race baiting begin to get under your skin? Yes, I'm a registered Democrat (which, granted, means little), but damnit, when you strip it down, I'm black first, and so are all these folks. Next time you stand there in a pulpit clapping for this woman, or enter the polling place to vote for her, consider the mountain range of evidence that says she doesn't give a shit about you, just winning.

EXHIBIT A: Dope Boy Magic

Rehashing the oh' so played out story of Obama's juvenile drug use that he outted in his own book years ago, Clinton adviser Bill Shaheen inferred that the Republicans just might could use this to brand Obama as a drug dealer should he become the candidate. Never mind the fact that Bill Clinton toked himself. I never once heard him referred to as the weed man.

Clinton pressured Shaheen to step down. Good for her. But it would be the first and last time she censured a campaign associate in that manner.

EXHIBIT B: Black Secret Agents Surrogates

First there was Andrew Young and his ludicrous "Bill's slept with more black women than Obama" statement. Then of course our boy Bob Johnson, a longtime Clinton ally, goes out and channels Shaheen in South Carolina nonetheless. Hillary didn't bother putting him in his place. Heck, he was campaigning with her in Philly the other day.

EXHIBIT C: DOWN Wit' Tha' King

On the eve of the MLK holiday, Clinton dropped this jewel, basically just saying MLK didn't do shit but give eloquent speeches, while LBJ did all the heavy lifting.

Is it just me, or does that rhetoric sound vaguely familiar?

EXHIBIT D: And Screw Mandela, Too!

Bill Clinton implied that his wife is more hardbody than Nelson Mandela.

"I have been blessed in my life to know some of the greatest figures of the last hundred years. [...] I go to Nelson Mandela's birthday party every year and we're still very close. [...] But if you said to me, 'You've got one last job for your country but it's hazardous and you may not get out with life and limb intact and you have to do it alone except I'll let you take one other person, and I had to pick one person whom I knew who would never blink, who would never turn back, who would make great decisions [...] I would pick Hillary.'"
first Negro president, Please!

EXHIBIT E: Hillary Morphs Into Shirley Ceasar

Yeah, I know black folks respond best to pandering. I get it already. But when Hillary got wind of an Obama appearance in Selma, AL commemorating that historic civil right's march, she called her black buddies and booked herself a church right across the street at the same time. She also bought along her Southern twang, which is a little odd for someone from Chicago, no?

EXHIBIT F: Obama's a Muslim Terrorist! RUN!!!

In December, three Clinton staffers in Iowa were busted for circulating an email alleging that Obama's a Muslim, schooled in a Wahhabi Madrassa, and is a plant to overthrow the United States. Then of course there was the recent incident where photos of Obama in Somali garb were circulated. Never mind the fact that the man's a Christian. And c'mon, the dude is wearing Dockers and a Casio watch in that photo. He's not a muslim.

This whole thing would simply be funny had it not worked. 20% of Ohio voters indicated in exit polls that they had grave concerns about Obama's ability to handle foreign relations.

Of course, Clinton had ample opportunity to debunk this whole "Obama is a Muslim Terrorist" angle on the eve of Texas and Ohio, but instead she goes on 60 Minutes, and says this.

"As far as I know". Oh really?!?

EXHIBIT G: Move To The Back Of The Line, Boy!

Never mind the fact that Obama's leading in both states won and total delegates, Billary thought he should still wait his turn and just cowtow and play 2nd fiddle. Because, you know, black men have to wait their turn and whatnot.

Thankfully, Barry did a rare chin check and put them in their place.

EXHIBIT H: Jesse Won SC Too

That's right, just marginalize a black man's accomplishments as being little more than happenstance. I don't remember Clinton just brushing off SC when he won there.

Let's see... Sharpton didn't win SC. Neither did Chisolm. Mosely Braun, nope? I'd throw in the obligatory Alan Keyes reference here since he's still technically in the race, but who cares? Point being: black folks don't just vote for black folks blindly. We have brains too, ya' know.

Uhhmm, you did know, right?

EXHIBIT I: Ferraro's An Idiot

Ferraro didn't just drop the Obama's only winning cause he's black nugget the other day. She's on record as saying this sorta nonsense for months now.

Not only should black folks be pissed off about Ferraro's "affirmative action" remark, whites who support Obama should be outraged at such an insult to their intelligence as well.

EXHIBIT J: The Real Life Uncle Ruckus Attacks

Okay, so this isn't a Clinton associate, or at least not somebody she'd be seen in public with. But still, tell me this fool ain't gettin' a check from somewhere. Peep this nice musical Montage of Pastor Manning's greatest hits.

I'm waiting for this dude's guest appearance on The Boondocks any day now.

EXHIBIT K: Lil' Mama Ain't Havin' That

Sorry, I couldn't think of a credible reason to use this photo, but I think it speaks a million words anyway.

I could keep on going and going for days, but thankfully the fine folks at Jack and Jill Politicks already did it for me. If you haven't already peeped their excellent Clinton Attacks Obama Incident Tracker, do yourself a favor and get familiar with the full body of shameful work.

After all this, still, I wonder how any self respecting black person can vote for Clinton when she's clearly demonstrated a complete lack of respect. She has, and will continue to do any and everything to win this election, even if it means alienating and discrediting and entire race in the process. And if she's willing to do this to merely get elected, what makes you think she'll treat black people and their distinct issues with any sort of seriousness once in office? I'm not saying these folks should just flock to Obama either. If they have some legit reason for not wanting to vote for him, they should do like I do when faced with a lose-lose situation: vote for myself.

So, yeah, I can only conclude that any Negro who still supports her should be fitted for a handerchief and soft shoes.

Now get ta' dancin'!

Question: Do you think black Clinton supporters are sellouts? Do you actually know and black Clinton supporters? If you do, email them this post (that little envelope below does the trick) and tell em' to get at me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Less Than Banner Day For The Clintons

[You still love me, don't you lil' Jorge?]

For Hillary Clinton, "It was all good just a week (or so) ago."[1]

She was still on record as having won Texas in the minds of many. Contributions were flowin' in like water. Florida and Michigan were reconsidering. Bill was keeping his pants up. Eliot Spitzer knocked Ferraro-gate off the front pages. And the Rebb'n Wright Trump Card had yet to be played. Life was good.

Then that crafty beige Negro went and pulled this stunt.

Obama had to say something about Reverend Wright, but I don't think anyone foresaw him turning a simple stump speech into a manifesto on the legacy of race in America. Some are calling this a historic speech already. I call it damage control. Damn good damage control, but damage control nonetheless. And it should (emphasis on should) end this silly discussion on "guilt by association" for once and for all.

Advantage: Barry.

"But, but, but, but wait, it gets worse."[2]
Facing strong opposition, Florida Democrats on Monday abandoned plans to hold a do-over presidential primary with a mail-in vote and threw the delegate dispute into the lap of the national party.

While the decision by Florida Democrats left the state's 210 delegates in limbo, Democrats in Michigan moved closer to holding another contest on June 3. Legislative leaders reviewed a measure Monday that would set up a privately funded, state-administered do-over primary, The Associated Press learned.

"A revote is the only way Michigan can be assured its delegation will be seated, and vote in Denver" at the party's national convention, Clinton campaign aide Harold Ickes said. "If the Obama campaign thwarts a fair election process for the people of Michigan, it will jeopardize the Democratic nominee's ability to carry the state in the general election."
As I argued here last week, redoing or otherwise seating Michigan and/or Florida would be a complete bastardization of the democratic process. Those states' parties are to blame for this, and those delegates shouldn't be counted just because the election happens to be close. This would be the case were Obama or Clinton ahead. So, kudos to the Sunshine State for finally getting something right besides Collins Ave.

All of this is obviously of little comfort to Clinton, whom I'm pretty sure is in some rural Pennsylvania hotel crying in her cereal right now, and it almost makes me feel sympathy for her. When her own husband (who just sent out an email to supporters essentially saying it's PA or Bust for Hillary) sees the writing on the wall, you can't help but feel bad for her.

Well, almost.

Question: Did you think the Obama speech was an honest plea for racial harmony or merely a superb PR move?

Obama Urges End To "Racial Stalemate" [CBS]

Florida Democrats Won't Hold Re-Do Primary [CBS]

[1] Cyber Capri Suns to the first person to tell me the source of this quote.
[2] Cyber Capri Suns to the first person to tell me the source of this quote.

Governor Paterson: Stand Up Guy, or Closet Freak!?!?

[Editor's Note: RaceFest 08' is still ongoing. Keep weighing in with your opinions over on the comment board.]

Last week, after NY Governor Eliot Spitzer was forced to step down (BTW, did that chick's 15 minutes come and go already or what?) due to his extramarital whoremongering, it was quickly announced that Lt. Governor David Patterson would assume the role. Many quickly lauded this as a history making event. Paterson, you see, is not only the first Black Governor of New York, but also the first legally blind Governor evar.

I didn't know much about the guy, so pardon me for not breakin' out the Capri Suns like I did when Deval Patrick won Massachusetts. But the initial media reports were good: Paterson is known as a unifier, one who can bring both sides of the party together. He is also known to build consensus and listen to many opinions before making decisions, and doesn't have the ready-made salvo of enemies that Spitzer had from Day One. He was praised as an all around good guy who'd overcome his disabilities and risen to the height of his profession. Hell, even Sean Hannity said this was a "great day for Americans of all races". Then he went right back to mercilessly roasting Reverend Wright, so take that one with a grain of salt.

Anyways, I saw some of yesterday's swearing-in ceremony last night on the news, and something about the whole thing just looked really, really odd. And by odd, I'm talking about the strange facial expressions and eye movement of his wife Michelle as he was sworn in.

Here, peep this and tell me she don't look jive.. uhh sorry DC folks maaaaddd uncomfortable.

WTH?!?! She looked like she had a few Silda Spitzer cocktails before she went out there, right? Then I heard this jawn on the news this morning, and swore I was listening to some MadTV skit gone bad. Forgive the generous cut and paste job, I didn't wanna omit any details.

The new Governor of New York State has admitted that both he and his wife had extra-marital affairs when their marriage went through a rocky patch several years ago. In a series of interviews in recent days, David Paterson told the New York Daily News that he had started an affair with "a woman other than my wife" in 1999 and continued it for two or three years.

The Daily News said that the "thunderous applause was still ringing in his ears" when he told the newspaper that he and his wife had both had affairs. Michelle Paterson, 46, confirmed her affair in a joint interview with her husband.

Mr Paterson said that he and the other woman – who has not been named – sometimes stayed at an upper West Side hotel, now called the Days Inn, at Broadway and West 94th Street.

"This was a marriage that appeared to be going sour at one point," Mr Paterson told the newspaper. "But I went to counselling and we decided we wanted to make it work. Michelle is well aware of what went on."

Mr Paterson was asked if he had stayed at the hotel in question with anyone else since 2001 and replied that he had taken his wife there after being advised by a marriage counsellor to introduce "new and exciting things" into their relationship.
Ok, is it just me, or does someone else smell a rat here?

I guess it's laudable that Gov. Paterson vetted himself here, which essentially saves us the trouble of having to watch yet another disgraceful press conference in the near future. But one thing I'm not buying, not for a single moment, is that his wife also had an affair. That ain't mutual affairs, that's an open marriage, and I know shawty ain't havin' that. I know this news account is brief, but the relative lack of details on her behalf tells me that some PR person told them to cook this thing up to cover up his past infidelity. After all, if you both did it, I guess that means they sorta cancel each other out in the grand scheme of things and makes you both look noble for just workin' it out for the sake of the kids. I'm not basing this one anything other than my Inner Negro Intuition.

I may be wrong, but I doubt it. Color me judgemental.

On the bright side, at least Paterson didn't do a Kwame Kilpatrick and lie to the tune of $9M of taxpayer money. He didn't pull a Antonio Villaraigosa and have his jumpoff air the dirty laundry on Telemundo. He also didn't do a Rudy Guiliani and use taxpayer money to protect his mistress with police detail. And thankfully, he didn't drop $80,000 of his own money on a saucy hooker with a MySpace Music page. Nope, he did it the old fashioned gangsta way, he got him a place on the other side of town and kept his wife and his wifey completely separated. I suppose he deserves a cookie for this.

[Editor's Question: Does legally blind mean what it sounds like? Namely, you can't see anything?]

One puzzling thing, though: how the hell does a blind man pick up women? I'm just sayin', I know we've all seen this in the movies (Ray), but in the 21st century, how exactly do you pull that one off? I haven't seen a blind black man that crafty since Wally Karew.[1] Had Spitzer taken some advice from D.P., he mighta still been in Albany himself. I'm just sayin'.

I suppose we should applaud Gov. Paterson for being upfront and honest about his skeletons, much like I applauded Barack Obama for openly admitting his drug use and past issues with self-identity in that exceptionally dry book Dreams Of My Father a few years back. But does dry snitching on yourself so that others can't pull your card make the thing you're snitching about any more acceptable just because you beat others to the punch? I'm not so sure, so I'll ask you folks.

Question: Is self-confessed dirt better than dirt uncovered by others, or is it still just dirt either way? Do you see Gov. Paterson any differently after finding this out? Would a candidate's extramarital affairs influence your decision to vote for them? Is this the longest string of questions AB's ever posed?

New NY governor David Paterson admits to extra-marital affair [TimesOnline]

Gov. Paterson: Okay, Yeah, I Fucked Around Too [Radar]

[1] Cyber Capri Suns to the first person who can tell me who Wally Karew is.