Friday, February 1, 2008

A Cosby Rap Album!?!? Claire Huxtable Is Crying Inside.

I've said it here before, but it bears repeating: Rap music's biggest problem is too many damn rappers and not enough fans. In the age of FruityLoops and MySpace, any lazy bama living in his mother's basement can get some VistaPrint bidness cards and suddenly be a "Rapper/CEO" overnight. I know this, because believe it or not (brace yourselves), AverageBro has actually laid some tracks himself.

Sure, my flow is jive weak (I'm still trapped in that late 80's Kool G. Rap/Big Daddy Kane style), and I sample like a mug, but it's just for fun, and I'm not exactly staking my family's well being on it. It's just a hobby. Drop me a line and I'll send you a sample track.

So I guess I can understand why old dudes like Cornell West and Michael Eric Dyson have delved into making rap albums, even though they're 30 years older than the typical Soulja Boy demographic. That said, I still don't quite follow what Bill Cosby is trying to accomplish.

Bill Cosby - a staunch critic of some rap music - is set to release a Hip-Hop album called State of Emergency, which will be a sanitized, issue-oriented CD. Sources told that the actor, comedian and philanthropist will address issues like proper parenting, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, Black-on-Black crime and the dropout rate in America's high schools.

In 2004, Cosby said in a speech, "Your dirty laundry gets out of school at 2:30 every day, it's cursing and calling each other [the N-word] as they're walking up and down the street. They think they're hip. They can't read. They can't write. They're laughing and giggling, and they're going nowhere."

Cosby's album will not contain any profane language, nor will it offer any denigrating comments towards women. State of Emergency would be the 35th album for the legendary comedian, actor, who released his first album Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow in 1963. Whether or not Cosby will work with rappers on his lyrical flow or his musical selection was not known at press time.
Laugh all you want at the prospect of the Coz as a recording artist, but reality is, dude's already done jazz albums before, and some of what he made wasn't half bad. He composed the theme song to AverageToddler's current favorite show, Little Bill. And peep Ursalina, a song you've probably heard a million times before, but probably didn't know was made by Mr. Puddin' Pops himself.

Jazzy Coz? Not so bad. Rappin' Coz? Uhhh, not so much. I just can't see this one ending well.

The whole concept of a "positive" rap album that doesn't denigrate women or talk about materialistic BS always sounds good on paper, but in reality, this is something difficult for real, accomplished, legitimate rappers to pull off.

Seriously, have you even listened to an entire Taalib Kweli album? If so, how long did it take you to wake up afterward, cause that last jawn he put out was booooringgg!!! Common? I Used To Love H.I.M., [||] but listening to this dude's albums nowadays make me wanna jump in front of a speeding Metrobus. He went from the ultimate B-Boy on his first couple of albums to a walking Gap ad on his latest efforts. Lupe Fiasco? Corn. Ball. And don't even get me started on Mos Def. The New Danger? Nah, The New Sleep Aid, son.

The only way this whole project could pop is if Coz flipped the script and had some ill guest appearances to liven things up. He could go toe-to-toe and bitch-for-hoe with Snoop Dogg. Lil' Wayne could spit some of his subtle drug references. T-Pain's vocoder would be in full effect. T.I. could extoll the virtues of gun registration. And MC Leonard Part 6 could clap back at each of them with his own lyrical swords. It would almost be like a point/counterpoint Black People vs Niggaz debate played out on wax.

I mean seriously, imagine this track listing. (click to read)

While the idea of Cliff Huxtable rockin' the mic sounds vaguely interesting on paper, reality is it will probably just be 45 minutes of a bitter old man talking greasy. And surely you guys have better uses of 45 minutes than that.

Claire Huxtable is crying inside.

[Question: Why does "positive" rap suck so badly?]

Looks like Bill's first single and video just got "leaked". Check it.

Bill Cosby Working On Rap Album [All Hip Hop]

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