That's right folks, I'm a white dude.
Some of you were wondering if this was indeed the case all along, and you were correct. How else could you possibly explain the way I mercilessly "find a successful black person... tear them down ... make fun of how people speak... make fun of their spelling" as some random Anonymous commenters frequently opine? How else could you explain the relative lack of rhythm (I still can't do the New Electric Slide)? The relative lack of brand consciousness? The ebonics-free posts? The oh-so-blatant self hatred? The constant and annoying shilling of sweatshop manufactured goods available at the AB.com Store? Besides, black dudes don't even refer to each other as "Bro". That's a white guy thang, ya'll wouldn't understand.
We all know these things are synonymous with being white, so if you by proxy deduced that I was white, you were correct all along. Congrats, I've been outed. Break out the Capri Suns!
Since we're on the topic, why is it that the AverageCommenters who drop such BS as what I quoted above always sign their posts as Anonymous?
Things that make you say "hmmmmm" indeed.
I know I shouldn't let this kinda mess bother me, especially when the folks who spout such BS always insist on posting their comments as Anonymous. It's obviously the pot calling the kettle black (no pun intended again) to pick at these folks since I'm an anonymous blogger myself, but it's still somewhat cowardly to toss such mindless grenades without even creating a Blogger profile first. Am I right, or am I right?
When I started this blog, the aim was to encourage critical thought on issues of relevance to "you people". Part of this means pointing out foul behavior where it resides, whether the offending party is black (like most of my readers) or white (like me). I try and keep it nice and even, but reality is, I cater to the whims of my readers, and more times than not, this means putting Negroes on blast. Sometimes I miss the mark, but judging by the comments (and the steadily rising number of daily hits) here, I seem to hit it pretty often. However, since I've been outed as a white dude and my cover is blown, I clearly can no longer continue masquerading as AverageBro. Stayed tuned for AverageWhiteDude.com, coming soon.
Question: Seriously, when did critical thought and examination of black folks issues become self-hatred?
[Editor's Note: This is obviously satire, and poorly worded satire at that. AB.com is black as a country midnight, and ain't goin' nowhere. But after another 13-hour (and still counting) day slaving at the Day Job (yep, same customer as C.Y.I.N. post), I damn near blew my gasket [||] when I read that ignorant assed comment. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, peep the Starbury post comments from yesterday and put that misguided bama on blast. Point being: if you don't like what I'm writing here, close your browser and go read a book, have a Coke and a smile, and you know the rest.]
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Newsflash! Averagebro's Identity Revealed... And He's A White Dude!
Tags Popped: Bloggy Style, Knee-Grow Please, White Men Gone Wild
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Fall back and don't let these fools phase you. You know you're DOING IT when you have some fool roll up on you making dumb comments-anonymously at that.
I read your post re: Marburry and read the comment from the anonymous poster. I don't know too much about Marburry but can appreciate that he attempted to introduce an affordable tennis shoe to these young people who'd much rather kill, steal or just not go to school if it means not having the latest kicks.
That said, I can understand anon's disagreement with your position. I think that anon may have been allowing something else to fester regarding your previous posts and took this opportunity to express his disdain. Generally speaking, I think you do a great job in presenting objective and critical analysis on current issues involving black folk.
I do think, however, that a few of your posts have unintentionlly exuded hints of elitism. Particularly your post wherein you mention a grocery store that discriminated against your wife and you disclosed to the store clerk various credentials about yourself and your wife. I'm in no way calling you an elitist, but I'm saying that some folks could unfairly label you as one b/c of your mention of credentials.
I do appreciate your blog, and am a regular reader not a commenter but felt the need to comment because of the instant post.
You had me going there for a moment AverageBro. Just a minute.
I don't understand why people feel that in honest criticism of black folk is not in order. How can you improve if someone is not taking an look at what is going on?
I have always wondered...what makes someone "black"? Is the words they use or the way they speak? Is it the clothes they wear or the food they eat? Is it the way they style their hair? I am 35 years old and I still want to know what makes a person black? If you like a particular kind of music? Is running fast, talking slow, and doing as little in school to get by being black? Growing up in a white neighborhood, going to an all white school made it real easy being black. The only time I have problems being black is when I am in the company of other black folks. Why is that? Why do we compete to determine who is more black and/or more ghetto than the next? I could go on, but I have to help my daughter with her homework. What a sellout I am!
Its not just the shit talking that goes on from AB, but the lack of balance. I do enjoy your post for the most part, but you rarely have something positive to say about black folk. When you do, its almost always coupled with scathing remarks. But its just as much the readers fault, as it is AB's. His most popular post are the shit talkin' rants so, naturally he makes more of them to keep the hype going. With that said, AB do you and fuck what we all think about it (myself included). Much like hip hop, positive rarely sales so keep talking greasy but try to sprinkle in some positive (but not too much).
You had me for about 10 seconds just because of that pasty dude you threw up there, but I knew it couldn't be.
And yes, this is a haters fall back moment. Reminds me of when my friend got upset that I called her child a bastard - he is a bastard, that kid ain't got no daddy. That's just what a bastard is. And "aks" is NOT a word either. Let's deal in reality.
Question back to you: Do you think the anonymous people are white or black? I get a handful of comments from black people who are mad that I made fun of xyz, or that I said called someone lightskinned or what have you. My other readers quickly tear them to shreds but I KNOW they are just sad black folks who are still mad to be black.
"When did critical thought and examination of black folks issues become self-hatred?"
That's a good question. My guess is some people are being too defensive, sensitive, and are unwilling to stop and THINK about issues. Just because you take a critical look at an issue doesn't mean you're giving in to the oppositions way of thinking or agreeing with what's being said or asked. You can still disagree after you've thought it out with an open mind.
It's easier for some people to not be self critical or think about things with a truly open mind. It's easier to just dismiss your ideas, and yourself a self-hating black person when it comes to certain issues apparently.
And to be honest when I first read the quote at the top of this comment I immediately translated it to my point of view(white).
When did critical thought and examination of black folks issues become racist?
I think it's a frustration a number of white people have when they try and discuss race and are just dismissed as racists. Probably a similar feeling although likely not as personal as it seems to be for you.
I think it's a matter of somebody not walking in lockstep with the pack and being attacked for it. It happens all the time if you look for it, with many different groups. Liberals have been accused of "hating America" when questioning certain US policies. And while they certainly can be annoying they don't simply all hate America. Or in your case blacks called self-hating when being critical of the actions of some black people.
It seems to happen when whatever group you find yourself in does, says, or stands for something you see as unreasonable and you simply question it.
@anon: Thursday, January 24, 2008 5:14:19 AM
"I think it's a frustration a number of white people have when they try and discuss race and are just dismissed as racists."
I've seen some this, but, honestly, when the conversation has been polite, probing, and honest, I haven't seen much of that.
I have discussed race on blogs with many whites, without rancor, or prejudice.
Will you please offer more particulars about whites who have been summarily dismissed as racist during discussion of race?
AB, I think a more interesting question would be, after learning that you're white, would I continue to read your blog posts?
The answer is, yes.
I think that it would make for more interesting reading, if you were.
Mind you, I don't want to recast you as white, but had you been, this blog would really be "fun" to read.
Not to say that it's not now!
Oh my... now that was entertaining. Can't wait to see the post titled "C.Y.I.W." LOL
If you are white, can you at least be real real cute??? That picture above the post is NOT a good look! LMAO!!!!
I love Capri Suns! Just as soon as I figure out how to get that straw in!
That anonyomous commenter to your cheap shoes post was A.Damn.Fool!
@ tryexcellence
I respectfully accept your constructive criticism, and will take it to heart. Thanks.
@ yellow fellow
Very interesting points. I mostly agree. You can peep the record here, people seem to respond (via comments) more to greasy talk, even though hits don't seem to fluctuate much on days when I do "positive" stuff. Food for thought indeed.
@ ThembaLand
Ok, calling that girl's child a bastard was just wrong. I ain't got your back on that one homegirl.
It was kinda funny tho'.
& tiff in H-Town
You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find a simple, non offensive photo of a white dude. Try googling the terms "white dude" and "white guy" and you'll see what I mean. Also, putting a "cute" white dude up here woulda derailed the point.
@ Amaretto
CapriSuns ain't just for kids. Neither are Luncahables. Yes, that's just how I roll folks.
BONUS!!!! CyberProps to the first person who can tell me where the "Break Out The CapriSuns" quote is from.
Hey man,
You had me going for maybe just half a paragraph then I remembered I never met a single white guy that could relate well enough to truly understand code switchin' and CYIN!
About that quote, it took just 30 seconds at Google to turn up this-
http://crunktastical.blogspot.com/2007/06/thats-just-way-it-is.html
I didn't even read it. Can I have my AB shirt now??
@ -H-,
Close, but NO cigar. C&D is just reusing the same quote I am. They didn't originate it.
Hint: It's from an obscure skit from an obscure hip-hop album by an obscure hip-hop artist released last year.
I didnt call him a bastard in a bad way...just is what it is I guess.
But this is why people dont always like me.
I don't know who said it but I used to want Capri Suns SO badly.
"I didnt call him a bastard in a bad way...just is what it is I guess. But this is why people dont always like me."
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I like you. In a non-threatening, completely platonic blogger way of course.
I know this is going to be shallow, but can we just laugh at Lil Wayne getting arrested for another drug possession charge?
Don't drop the soap, Dwayne~!
I knew it couldn't be true...but I'll admit I started to doubt myself a little. I frequent many blogs/forums and your writings were not typical of a 'white' guy. When I saw the pic I knew that you would clear the lie up- no averagebro could look that 'dorky' and still be able to enlighten readers.
I'm glad in this case that a lie was indeed a lie.
And in reference to that 'anon' character-it's very easy to displace your frustrations on the internet; it's even 'easier'to never view this blog again...but only if they would stay away. Btw- I still would visit; read; and comment even if you were white!
AB, you should never give haters the time of day. A far better way to deal with it is to ignore the hate. They'll go away eventually.
I'm new to your blog, but I enjoy reading it very much.
You had me going too...It certainly would have made things interesting, if you really were white and writing this blog.
Impressive actually, for someone white to be that in tune....
Nevertheless, I would have kept reading on anyway though!
As for the anonymous commenter, don't even trip on them. It is what it is...sometimes the truth hurts...so keep calling them like you see them.
"ignorant assed comment"
wow, this post is about critical thought and self examination? plz show me some examples. if a reader does not agree with you, you call them a name that's critical thinking? I know many affluent blacks over 30 that just seem to put ppl down in order to lift themselves up. I can get negative comments about blacks from Usatoday.com. why are you following the same path?
I read many books by black authors. Currently I'm reading "The Best Short Stories by Black Writers" what if this book had story after story dissing black ppl? would it seem right? the internet has the power to reach out to millions, I happened to find your blog from one of my professor's. WE AS A CLASS BROKE DOWN YOUR BLOG, USING CRITICAL THINKING TECHNIQUES. there are only two of us (Blacks) in the class I was so ashamed how a black man could be so negative towards ppl doing right e.g. the criticism of " First Sunday" I was shamed by the white ppl in the class, we had to find a blog by a white person that puts down white ppl using
" critical thought" we could not find one, not one! but we found so so many black blogs putting black ppl down.
Not a hater just looking for uplifting messages, and if your blog was truly about critical thinking, I would not have been ashamed. It's easy to find blog after blog putting black ppl down just look at the comments. Oh I put anon as a recommendation by my professor to see what kind of response we get, but I will be leaving your blog and go back to field-negro.blogspot.com. Everytime I have stated your blog is unnecessarily negative you have cllled me a name. You need to get an objective person to look over all of your posts and look critically at what your putting out to the world about black ppl. Hve you personally met Marbury to know his personality? Why put down how black ppl talk, why bring up light skinned versus dark skinned, why post stories about some ignorant thing somebody did, why the name calling when someone does not agree with you? Damn we's free, maas ain't got hold us no mo" and your writing 80% of stories putting black ppl down, what if that was MLK's or Malcolm message? What if all they made speeches about how ignorant black ppl are, oh did you hear how they speak, oh did you hear about Marbury's ignant ass. What about a stroy of the MANY basketball players doing positive things, what about some uplifting positive stories mixed in with the political ones, WHY MUST WE CONSTANTLY TEAR DOWN EACH OTHER?
p.s.
Your blog reminds me of black men in Las Vegas. The black men that move hear from other states only date white women. they will tell you why they do not date sista's "they are too hard to deal with, they smell, white girl will do anything, I can do anything and she'll stay" I have never heard of another race dissing their own women. White men might not date white women but they do not come out openly dissing their women as a whole race, only black men, they do it openly in front of other races. That's what your blog and others remind me of. This is why ppl fought and died for freedom in Amerikka so we can openly put each other down for improper (massa's) English?
oh waiting for the insults, I can't spell, I'm a hater, I am wrong for wanting more positiveness towards each other in these devilish times, so poor in on. "I'm ignorant, I'm a misguided bama, etc."
oh I put anon cuz it's easy to click, putting some fake moniker is differnet how? I'm still an anonymous person on the Internet does mean I don't believe in what I write cuz I put anon
On Xbox team games over the Internet whites openly call the next player "n****" (Socom, Halo). On Omg.yahoo.com (celebrity pic site) any pic of a nonwhite the comments are always racist, any story of a nonwhite on usatoday.com comments are racist, blame the victim. where is the site that champions us? when do we celebrate us? on Black planet.com the comments putting down how ugly black women are or some other negative comment are usually found out later to be a white person posing as black, maybe that's what the post was referring to
@ bean;
You have issues that can't be solved on any one blog...
If you want praise and encouragement go to an AA/NA meeting...
The point that you seem to be missing is- that this is averagebro's blog. If it bothers you to the degree that you've indicated start your own blog...and go away.
There's a prevaling attitude among bloggers/forum participants that Blacks have to respond positively about everything. Why should they? We're adults. I don't need any subject sugar coated nor evaded because its presents a black person in a 'negative' manner. I'm intelligent enough to form my own conclusions and develope my own opinions as well.
chica:
"Not a hater just looking for uplifting messages, and if your blog was truly about critical thinking, I would not have been ashamed."
chica, you're guilty of the same thing you're accusing AB of.
But that's O.K. I'm guilty of calling you out, but I hope to do so in a way that's not too offensive, not too negative.
Your professor (be s/he white or black) served you badly.
What if you had been asked to find blogs, or even sites, spewing racism, how successful would you have been?
Atheists are pretty good at going after each other, and even non-atheists (the vitriol can get pretty inflammatory) and many of them are white.
I think that those blogs/sites qualify as well.
And the main stream media is doing a good job of trouncing whites and blacks all under the guise of politics.
The point: your professor sought to make a point about black people by stacking the deck in his favor.
There's plenty of criticism out here: white on white, white on black, black on white, and black on black.
I'm curious as to what the exercise was meant to prove, what it was meant to accomplish. For you, it wasn't a very positive experience:
"...there are only two of us (Blacks) in the class I was so ashamed how a black man could be so negative towards ppl doing right e.g. the criticism of " First Sunday" I was shamed by the white ppl in the class, we had to find a blog by a white person that puts down white ppl...."
A more interesting exercise would have been the exploration of why blacks may be more "critical" of themselves than white.
Mind you, I don't find that that's the case, or your conclusion viable.
Sure, we're critical at times, and we're laudatory at times, but so are other racial groups, that's not a black trait alone.
-----------------------------------
You appear to be very young, and that's no crime.
But never, NEVER be ashamed of being black, of discovering that blacks can be critical of themselves (I'd say no more so than any others--there are million of blogs on the Internet, and I'm sure your class didn't search them all.).
But, even if we are, for God's sake, that's no reason to be "ashamed."
If we are negative, that's ample reason for whites to be ashamed, given the part that they have played and continue to play in this reality show called Whites and Blacks in America.
I wish you well as you venture through this life. There's more going on here than you now realize.
I pray, as the years come and go, you will come to a place where shame and guilt will give way to understanding and wisdom, born as much of experience, as from a deep and careful consideration of life, and those of us who contribute to it daily.
Namaste
my professor is black, he has a master's from the university of chicago.
the study was not to find positive black blogs but a exercise in critical thought by posting comments.
What I learned; I am guilty of the same behavior I accuse averagebro. I expected black blogs to have a positive spin regarding black folks. but America as a whole has negative attitudes towards blacks why should black ppl be any different. For example, no one complained about Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. No one looks at Amerikka as a whole but in fragments. When rappers emulate the same behaviors as the show everyone jumped on their materialism. Living in different parts of the country I have learned it is not just black families that are fragmented but poor families are just as affected by drugs, unemployment, out of wedlock babies, but black are singled out like this phenomenon only happens to black ppl.
The point of the exercise was to look at blogs critically and our comments critically. I am not young, I droppped out of college the first time and returned, now working on my master's. My teacher is from Chi-town. My son is a teenager and no I was not a teenager when I had him.
Each team had to do a power point on the blogs content and what we learned about ourselves. the shame is that none of the other groups blog content put down white ppl, their topics were mostly political. We did this exercise after MLK day, the other teams blogs had many commentors putting down MLK. They looked at the info critically. but my team's blogs were all from black blogs (four) and ALL had negative stories about blacks. Inititally we looked at the black blogs political perspectives but noticed the stories that got the most comments were always about how ignant we is. Most comments were anwered emotionally not critically.
but you're right why expect black ppl to be any different than whites, from our origins in this country we have been looked down upon (black Friday, black Monday, blcak = negative), every minority that comes to Amerikka looks down on us (Mexicans, Phillipinos, etc) so why do I expect black blogs to be any different or more positive?
Maybe I cannot understand story after story " look how dumb this nigga ( original word: negro) is, look how stupid this nigga is" without the equal stories " look at this inspirational person, look at this beautiful person (actions)"
of course I hid my shame from the white ppl in my class, my team hid the 80% negative stories comments by blacks about blacks. I'll just stay with field-negro.blogspot.com and racialicious.com
bean twn chica said...
Maybe I cannot understand story after story " look how dumb this nigga ( original word: negro) is, look how stupid this nigga is" without the equal stories " look at this inspirational person, look at this beautiful person (actions)"
You're right, we rarely emphasize the positive in our world.
Even main stream media would rather run a story of a grave misfortune, whether it's the misfortune of a Britney Spears, or of hapless hikers who become stranded on a mountainside in a blizzard.
My point: many things in our lives condition us to feast on what is negative, rather than on what is positive.
Many of the blogs that I read are an extension of that.
You said:
Most comments were answered emotionally not critically.
I don't expect blog posts to adhere to a strict decorum of facts, reason, logic, or critical thought.
I believe that the forum was designed to capture opinions, beliefs, idle thoughts and the like.
I would expect, however, that an article composed for publication to conform to a more rigorous standard, just as I would a Master thesis, or a PhD dissertation.
I guess what I'm saying is don't expect that kind of clear-headed thinking here.
My main concern was to counter the "shame" you were feeling, to put it into a larger context, hoping that it would temper your response to this and other blogs that may offer up more negative fare than positive.
I see that you've made some strides in that direction and I'm pleased.
...but you're right why expect black ppl to be any different than whites, from our origins in this country we have been looked down upon...
Thanks for responding. I believe that you're finding your way, and as long as you rely on your own inner truth (your honest feelings about a thing), nothing that is said here or elsewhere will cause you to stray from that mooring.
I always try to remember that perspective creates perception, and perception my experience.
Namaste
Although I do not agree with everything that AB writes, I personally hopes he continues doing what he does. Those who thinks he is "putting black people down" when he comments on the various "Negro Nonsense" of any given day, need to understand that first of all his targets have all done a pretty good job of making themselves look like jackasses to the general public in the first place. AB then only offers his own insight and perspective on it, and then leaves his readers to offer their own conclusions and opinions. Why I do read his blog as opposed to many others is because, in my opinion, when he crtiques us it is always with the underlying observation that we as a people can and SHOULD be doing SO much better. Too many of us are willing to accept a lot of crap i.e. bad speaking, etc. as part and parcel of who we are without any critical analysis or push for change. And I must say I have never really seen him put down anything that was truly positive just for the sake of it. Keep his writings in the context in which they were intended and you should not be too insulted. Just my thoughts.
OK, I am supposed to be doing my Org. Project homework and you have officially crossed the line! Brilliant!
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