AvBro GuestPost: Multi-Level Marketing is a Grand Hu$tle

[AverageBro isn't the only blog I read, of course. Sometimes I'll come across a post elsewhere that says what I can't say, and far better. So, I now present to you our newest feature: The AverageBro GuestPost.]
Last week, I got a cc:d email from an old acquaintance asking me if I wanted to buy Redskins tickets. This was odd for two reasons. 1) Redskins tickets are expensive and very hard to come by. 2) The dude who sent me the email is not exactly the richest guy I know. Needless to say, I was skeptical, but at the same time, couldn't pass up the possibility of getting some Skins tickets for a crackhead price.

A bit later I get a reply from him, confirming my suspicions. Not only did he not technically have the tickets, he was asking me to go to his "travel agency bidness" website, where there was a link to purchase the tickets through a 3rd party (giving him a commission in the process). Of course, he capped the whole reply by asking me if I was interested in a "business opportunity".

Being the wise black man I am, my Negro Intuition™ told me something was fishy here. Inevitably, if I responded and told him I was interested in this "business opportunity", I'd be invited to a "presentation" at some suburban 3rd rate hotel conference room. There would be lots of talk about "financial freedom", "retiring early", and "giving back to the community". There would be precious little information about the nature of the business, how compensation was paid, or what product was being sold. I'd be asked to pay $499 to find out more information. I'd be told to tell every friend know with $499 about the opportunity as well. I would eventually kiss that $499 goodbye. I know this, because I've been there before.

Amway
Mary Kay Cosmetics (makers of those gaudy pink Caddies pictured above)
LCI Communications
Primerica
Excel Communications
Pre-Paid Legal Services
...and my personal favorite...
Tahitian Noni Juice

That's right, your boy, AvBro, has fallen for the Multi-Level Marketing Grand Hu$tle.

It was long ago, and it's not a chapter of my life I'm happy about revisiting, but let's just say I'm $500 lighter in the wallet, and much wiser as a result. Sometimes these things are innocent: you lose a few hundred dollars, you curse your friend in the process, but your life isn't ruined. Sometimes, however, these things can have dire circumstances: people can be swindled out home equity, have their credit ruined beyond repair, and sometimes lose their homes entirely. It's not a game.

My cousin RichCam wrote a nice drop about this on his blog (Full Of Hot Air) the other day, with some good tips on how to avoid getting hu$tled. Click over there now and let him put you on the game.

Whatever you do, if somebody asks you about a "bidness opportunity", just say no. And run the other way. Quickly.

Why do they keep coming to ME??? [Full of Hot Air Blog]

Because Child Support Doesn't Pay Itself....

...and because he can't keep it in his pants, Evander Holyfield still has to work. Considering the fact that he's embarrassed himself on Dancing With The Stars, and is still climbing in the ring twice a year, I guess his latest idea is less risky than, say, getting your brain further turned to creamed corn.

Evander Holyfield, of Atlanta, is preparing to unveil the "Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill," a direct competitor to Foreman's famous "Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine," which has reportedly earned $100 million in sales since 1995.

"I've got a George Foreman grill. It's a good grill," Holyfield, 44, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "But don't you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?"

Manufacturer CirTran Corp., based in Utah, approached Holyfield about promoting the $99 grill after he appeared on the TV show "Dancing With the Stars" in 2005. Holyfield dons an apron in a 30-minute commercial that began airing last week describing his product's culinary and health benefits.

The sad stereotype of an athlete who just doesn't know when to call it quits (Michael Jordan, Rickey Henderson) doesn't necessarily apply here. With nine children (and counting) to "make it rain" on monthly, as well as a litany of bad business decisions, and shady ex-wives, Holyfield has to keep fighting, literally for his freedom. Sad, sad, sad.

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it till somebody with the financial support helps me establish this as a legit business: Get Yourself Fixed!!!

Please, please, please, please buy this man's grill!!! Maybe you'll inadvertently save his life in the process.

Jack Johnson is crying inside.

Holyfield Takes On Foreman Grill [AP]

AverageBro Blogs Live! from the GOP Debate at Morgan State

We Watch, So You Don't Have To.
Ok, so it isn't live, and I was watching on PBS with probably the other 214 people nationwide who bothered to tune in. But much like my recaps of the New Hampshire, and YouTube Democratic Debates, I felt an obligation of sorts to endure last night's GOP debate at Morgan State University and give you a final tally. I'm just open minded like that.

I am a registered Democrat, and since I differ with the GOP on a few key fundamental issues (namely: affirmative action and a woman's right to choose), I would gouge my eyes out with a Bojangles' spork before I voted for a Republican candidate for President. Sorry, I'm just close minded like that.

On the other hand, state and local (think: mayor, county exec, governor) elections are another issue altogether. If a guy can lower my property tax, fund schools, and fix potholes, I could care less what party he represents. Just my two cents.

Anyways, on to the debate....

---

Kornel David
Rusty LaRue
Cory Carr
Mark Bryant
Corey Benjamin
Mario Bennett

You probably have no idea who these six guys are, but they're members of the 1998-99 Chicago Bulls, a dreadful team that won just 13 games. The only reason why this team is even notable is because they were the scrubs that followed the exodus 97' Bulls Championship team of Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and Coach Phil Jackson.

Depleted of it's star power, the team of guys remaining were a collection of awful, unwatchable losers. This team was so bad, it couldn't beat itself on NBA Live. Last night, as I tried to stay interested in the GOP Debate at Morgan State University, I couldn't help but think I was watching this dreadful Bulls team.

In case you're unaware, all the Republican frontrunners (Guiliani, McCain, Romney, Thompson) pulled out of this debate weeks ago in unison, citing "other commitments". Never mind the fact that the debate was scheduled 6 months ago, which is plenty of time to clear your calendar. Never mind the fact that the same four candidates also pulled out of a similar debate on Hispanic tv station Univision a few weeks ago.

On second thought: mind!

If the GOP is serious about courting the black and brown vote, you'd think they'd send their All-Star team instead of a bunch of D-League rejects. Apparently not.

Note to black and brown America: Please remember this slight when the GOP comes pandering for your votes next Fall!!!

Even though the luminaries decided they had better things to do, there was still a debate to conduct, and hosts Tom Joyner and Tavis Smiley were emphatic about these absences and called them out. In a symbolic show of the slight, the podiums of the absent were left empty (see photo above). The GOP's Token Negro du jour, ex-Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele introduced the six debaters, and the show was on.

Before I dive into the candidate by candidate recaps, I want to note that although this debate was held at an HBCU and was supposedly geared toward black issues, a majority of the crowd appeared to be white. This could be deceptive: as we all know, white folks are notorious for getting places on time (or buying tickets early), so they always end up sitting in the front rows anyway. Perhaps the candidates had their local supporters bum rush the show. Either way you dice it, the audience response to many of the questions posed didn't seem to be the typical response of a mostly black audience. Does this make a difference? Not really. Was it somewhat distracting? Yes.

Anyways, Tavis played moderator, and Fox News' Juan Williams, a token Hispanic journalist, and a token black female journalist took turns lobbing questions at the candidates. Most early questions were of direct concern to the black/brown community. But towards the end, they started going with basic questions about health care and the Iraq war and my Tivo trigger finger got itchy, so I can't say I followed those responses very well. Just like with my previous debate recaps, I rated each candidate's performance on a scale of 0 to 5 Hanging Chads [||].

My Candidate by Candidate Recap:

Mike Huckabee (Former Arkansas Governor) - I'll be honest, if I didn't have any idea who these guys were or who was leading this group of losers in the polls, I'd swear this guy was the best candidate on the GOP side by far. Playing from the Bill Clinton Book of Pandering, Huckabee was by far the most relaxed, professional, and thorough of the candidates. This guy had the right answer for everything: racism, Rwandan genocide, DC statehood, you name it. He also plays a musical instrument. Heck, his tie was even color-coordinated to match the set background! I'm never going to vote for a GOP President, but I can surely understand why this guy pulled 48% of the black vote the last time he ran for Governor. If you're GOP savvy and can explain to me why this guy doesn't have more traction, I'd love to know. - 5 Chads (Out of 5)

Ron Paul (Texas Congressman) - I obviously haven't followed any of these second-tier GOP candidates (why would I?), but I've heard more than enough about Ron Paul to pay attention when he spoke. I came away wondering what all the fuss was about. Yeah, he's a sparky old guy with lots of enthusiasm and spunk, but he clearly wasn't prepared to answer any of the race-specific questions tossed out in this debate. He has a penchant for repeating key phrases (ie: welfare state) for no apparent reason, and espouses pie in the sky ideas like the elimination of income taxes for "waiters and bartenders" (WTH?). With his tiny stature and outrageous policies, I can only conclude that Paul and Dennis Kucinich are products of the same babydaddy. They just don't know it yet. AverageSis called him a "crackpot". I had to concur. That's why I love this woman so much I had to marry and impregnate her. Anyways. - 1 Chad.

Sam Brownback (Kansas Senator) - I'll be honest, this guy was completely non-descript. He didn't say a single thing the entire night that was notable. If it wasn't for his bad dye job, I probably wouldn't have even remembered him at all. BTW, you just know this dude caught beatdowns on the daily in middle school with a last name like Brownback. - 0 Chads.

Duncan Hunter (California Congressman) - See Brownback. I can't say there was anything particularly memorable about Hunter other than his Angry White Guy responses to all questions of race. This guy if clearly the GOP equivalent of Mike Gravel. And he clearly has the same snowball's chance of winning. - 0 Chads

Tom Tancredo (Colorado Congressman) - This is the one guy who pissed me off more than anyone else the entire night. Like Hunter, he seems to have the Angry White Guy's disease, and makes no bones about it. Pandering clearly wasn't on his agenda. Rwandans? Eff' em'! Black men in prison unfairly? Eff' em'. DC Statehood? Move to Virginia, Negro!!! Maybe the slow realization that he doesn't have a chance, is wasting his time, and doesn't even have a job to go back to is finally sinking in. You know, kinda like a guy who trains years for the Olympics, and finishes dead last. I'd probably be pissed too. Still, this guy is about 5 foot 6, and doesn't even look presidential. Much like Democrat Chris Dodd, who looks more like a butcher, this guy doesn't look presidential at all. He looks like a middle school gym teacher. Maybe that's a career option for him now, cause his ass is through. - Negative 27 Chads

Alan Keyes (recently unemployed GOP lackey/onetime ambassador to some country you've never heard of) - You know I had to save the best for last. Like I told ya'll last week, Keyes' inclusion in this race is nothing more than a Grand Hu$tle by the GOP to avoid looking completely racist at this HBCU debate. I still have no doubt that two weeks from now, Keyes will quietly back out of the race, citing a need to "spend more time with his family". Reality is, a hired gun like him can come in and shoot off at the mouth with few repercussions, and that's exactly what he did. Looking just like Anton Jackson from Undercover Brother, Keyes, in his best Steve Urkel alto, actually gained some points with me. He said lots of things about black people needing to take personal responsibility, get married before they have babies, and staying the hell off the street corner that the white candidates couldn't say themselves. He got lukewarm applause at best, but for actually showing some balls for a change, at least he slightly improved his image. Not that it matters, Anton Jackson will be out of this race by the time I finish this post. - 4 Chads

Winner: Huckabee, by a landslide. But when you think about it, winning a debate full of losers is sorta like being the best Jewish player in the NFL. It sounds good on paper, but in the end, it doesn't mean jack.
Runner Up: Anton Jackson Alan Keyes
Don't Be Mad, UPS Is Hirin': All six of these losers. And Black America.

Republican long shots get moment in spotlight [B'More Sun]

Better Programming? Don't BET On It: The Sequel

The Station Everyone Hates But Allegedly Never Watches is at it again.

Despite the ongoing Enough is Enough! boycotts, the less than stellar reception of Hot Ghetto Mess, and with TV One breathing down their necks in the ratings, BET is moving forward with an (overly?) ambitious array of shows for the upcoming season.

You'll remember several months back, I got gassed off the prospect of their Summer lineup. We all know that whole thing turned out to be a classic case of an idea that was better on paper than in reality. So, despite how interesting some of this stuff sounds, I'm not holding my breath to say the least.

Black Entertainment Television is 27 years old -- old enough, its top executives say, to start acting all grown up.

The Washington-based cable network that established itself with music videos featuring booty-shaking women and gangsta-rapping thugs is starting to do what grown-up TV networks do: produce its own original series. This season, BET will introduce 16 new series, a commitment that the network's top programmer, Reginald Hudlin, dramatically describes as "the largest aggregation of original programming about black life in television history."

Music videos now constitute just less than 20 percent of BET's schedule, says Hudlin, 45.

In coming weeks, the network will launch "Sunday Best," an "American Idol"-style gospel-singing competition; and "Exalted!," a series profiling ministers from across the country. On deck later this season: "Bufu," BET's first animated sketch series, co-created by comic actor Orlando Jones.

Will Smith's production company is developing an animated sci-fi series called "Cipha," which BET describes as a show "set in a future world where hip-hop is outlawed." And Vin Diesel is behind yet another animated series, about the life and times of Hannibal, the ancient African warrior king.

Ok, on second thought, maybe this stuff doesn't sound so interesting after all. Unless, of course, you're an 11th grader with a SideKick and a MySpace page. That is, after all, the audience BET is catering to.

Personally, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty screwdriver than watch "Sunday Best, an 'American Idol'-style gospel-singing competition". The mere description makes me feen' for Classic Comic View.

I don't pretend to be an expert on anything related to BET. I Tivo the excellent Meet the Faith, but can't say I watch anything else there. This could have something to do with my disdain for music videos, 80's sitcom reruns, or corny infomercials. It could also have something to do with me being way past the age range of their target demographic (14-24).

Assuming Rev. Delman Coates doesn't shut the whole station down first, who knows how this whole thing will work out for BET.

But considering the lack of age-appropriate programming, I can't exactly say I'll be watching to find out.

At 27, BET Tries Some Original New Moves [WaPost]

AverageBro NewsBriefs: Hollyweird Edition

Nope, this isn't necessarily one of those days when The Day Job actually asks me to work for a living. But since there isn't anything incredibly blogworthy, and since most visitors to this site are still ripping me a new one for the Jail vs Yale post the other day, I figured I'd take it light today, and drop this trio of "Hollyweird" miscellany.

Are the GEICO Cavemen Actually Brothas?

A few months back, I was told about the "hidden racism" in the pilot to ABC's upcoming sitcom based on the GEICO Cavemen. I "acquired" a copy of this pilot, but since the audio didn't work, I never actually watched it. Still, it seems like the less than warm and fuzzy reception of that episode made the folks at ABC go back to the lab quicker than you can say "The Secret Diary of Desmond Phiffer".

Cavemen" had to undergo a pre-debut evolution. A new first episode with a new setting, San Diego instead of Atlanta, will air when the sitcom begins 8 p.m. EDT Tuesday. ABC announced in July that the pilot didn't properly introduce the idea of Cro-Magnon buddies living in modern society and would be redone.

The spots wittily depict shaggy-looking cavemen chafing at misconceptions about their sophistication and intelligence. The series follows another trio of Cro-Magnons battling bias as they try to fit into a world that believes (wrongly, as the show has it) they're extinct.

In July, when the producers and cast attended the Television Critics Association meeting, they were asked if the prejudice the cavemen faced in the pilot, for instance, that they were athletically superior, was intended to echo the stereotyping that blacks face.

Not at all, the producers said, reiterating that position again this week. While the show is about how people treat minorities it has nothing to do with any specific real-life group, they said.

That pilot is probably still somewhere out there in Cyberspace if you're willing to look for it. My man The Human Resource from StartSnitching.com said it was pretty foul, and I tend to agree with him more times that not.

I won't bother watching this show to confirm this, but if you do let me know.

'Cavemen' sitcom evolves for ABC debut [AP]


Paris Goes to Rwanda

As if the folks of war torn Rwanda didn't already have enough to worry about, Paris Hilton will be bringing her PR staff and herpes to their country this Fall.

Paris Hilton has vowed to keep her post-prison promise of devoting time to worthy causes and will demonstrate her commitment with a trip to Rwanda later this year.

The celebrity socialite told the E! Online website on Wednesday that she is aiming to visit the war-torn central African nation in November after completing work on her latest film.

"I'll be going in November, after I get back from filming my movie," Hilton said. "There's so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help."

Here's what you can do to "help", Ms. Hilton: Stay your bony ass in Hollywood!

The last thing Rwandans need to "bring more attention" to their plight is a bunch of Entertainment Tonight vignettes of Paris shopping, eating al fresco, and posing for flix with a bunch of starving kids. And while you're at it, don't get the wise idea of "adopting" one of them. Kids are may look "hot" on the red carpet, but they are not accessories.

Leave the faux humanitarian stuff to Madonna and Angelina. Stick to making homemade pron bad reality shows that nobody watches.

Paris Hilton planning humanitarian trip to Rwanda [E!]


Vick in Trouble (Yes...Again!)

Can't Get Right is in yet more hot water. You'd think a dude staring at a lenghty prison sentence and the end of his professional career would find Jesus. Heck, he even admitted as much himself. Apparently, Bedside Baptist ain't the only thing Mike's discovered in the past few weeks.

Michael Vick, who has been suspended indefinitely by the National Football League after admitting he bankrolled a dogfighting operation, tested positive for marijuana Sept. 13 and will have his behavior further monitored by the federal court system as he awaits a December sentencing date.

Vick, who had been the Atlanta Falcons’ starting quarterback, will be restricted to his residence from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., and his movements will be monitored by an electronic bracelet. He must also submit to drug testing at any time.

But wait... it gets worse for inmate #6297 #7.

Vick’s troubles do not end there. He was indicted yesterday on Virginia state charges of beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and engaging in or promoting dogfighting. Each felony is punishable by up to five years in prison.

And the Royal Bank of Canada recently sued Vick for more than $2.3 million, alleging that his guilty plea and suspension have caused him to default on a loan.

Damn, talk about catching a bad break.

On second thought, if I had all these walls closing in on me at once, I might need to take a toke or 30 myself.

Keep your head up, Mike. Literally. Keep your head, and for that matter, your upper torso up. [||] It's gonna be hell in that cell.

Vick Fails Drug Test and Faces Travel Limits [NYTimes]

RocaWear Arena? Jigga Please.

Watching yesterday's congressional hearings, and last night's SoundByte Olympics: Hip Hop Edition on BET, one common argument bought up in defense of rap music is that it has created a whole new generation of CEO's, executives, and entrepreneurs. As if Negroes couldn't have (and haven't already) accomplished the same things by just working hard and going to college like the rest of us. Never mind that in 90% of the cases listed, there's a white co-signer who made the whole thing possible, and profits far more than the ghetto inhabitants he exploits to the detriment of their own communities puts on. Lyon Cohen begot Russell Simmons. Jerry Heller enabled Easy-E. And of then course, there's Jay-Z.

While I'm sure to be branded as a hater for this (as if I care), it really irks me when Jay-Z is repeatedly referred to as "owner" of the NBA's New Jersey Nets. Let's be real here: yes, Jay-Z is technically a part-owner of the team. He cut a check for $5.4M that didn't bounce, which gave him some shares in the club. But for real, Jay-Z's contribution to the team's ownership just looks like another one of those boutique equity deals to me. Other than sitting courtside with Beyonce and plugging his albums to season ticket holders, it doesn't look like the Jigga Man contributes much to the everyday operations of the organization other than star quality and good paparazzi photos. Ownership? Yes. Power? Not so much.

On the other hand, anyone with a shred of common sense knows the real reason Jay-Z was extended the right to purchase part of the team is because they are slated to move to Brooklyn, NY (his hometown) in a few years. This move involves a very controversial displacement of longtime residents and a land grab via eminent domain for construction of the team's new arena, which isn't very popular politically to say the least.

So when I read stories like the one below, while I want to celebrate it as a "testament to the economic opportunities that hip hop can provide" (their words, not mine), I can't help but ignore my Negro Intuition.

Most naming rights deals are struck at the beginning of an arena or stadium's life in today's marketplace. But three apparel companies are now vying to display their names on the 26-year-old building now known as Continental Airlines Arena. Only one, Izod, is a household name. The others, Rocawear and Southpole, are up-and coming brands that market to an urban demographic.

But all three have a relationship with Brett Yormark, the president and CEO of the New Jersey Nets. The basketball team will be the only marquee tenant in the arena for now because the New Jersey Devils are moving to a new home in Newark.

Izod is already a sponsor of the basketball team.

One of Rocawear's founders is hip-hop entrepreneur Jay-Z, who is a part-owner of the Nets, and the company is also a sponsor. Southpole, based in Fort Lee, has been in talks with the team to be a sponsor, Yormark said. Neither returned calls to The Associated Press for comment.

To me, this re-naming, assuming it actually happens (which is doubtful), it little more than good P.R. for a clothing label that Jay-Z no longer owns, and further P.R. for the area of Brooklyn in which this behemoth of an area will sit. Especially when you consider the pricetag of a mere $600,000, versus the $20M a year that the naming rights for the new area will fetch.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, superfluous PR reasons aside, renaming the Meadowlands as the Rocafella Arena could be worse. How worse? Just consider the fact that the new area, Barclays Bank, is named after a company that (allegedly) profited from the slave trade. What's next? The Bull Connor Coliseum? The David Duke Center?

The Nets will quietly sell the Meadowlands naming rights to some obscure regional financial institution hext week, and RocaWear, Izod, and SouthPole (who actually wears this stuff?) will get a nice shot of PR in the process. It's called a Grand Hu$tle for a reason, folks.

Bertram Lee and Peter Bynoe are crying inside.

Meadowlands arena could have new name by next week [AP]

www.AverageBro.com is Official!!!

Okay, so it's not exactly major news, but hey it's a Wednesday. After weeks of urging from AverageSibling, I finally dug into my dwindling monthly allowance and broke GoDaddy off $9 for the domain name www.AverageBro.com, which surprisingly wasn't already taken. I guess this simple development really means only a few things.

1) Since I dropped nine hard-earn bucks on this domain name, I'm now obligated to keep this blog up and running for at least another year.

2) If you're used to coming here via AverageBro.blogspot.com, you don't need to do anything, it will automatically redirect you and your RSS feeds will go on uninterrupted.

3) If you want to tell a friend about the site, it's much easier to remember now.

Hey, I said it wasn't exactly major news, didn't I?

Bill O'Reilly Loves Collard Greens, Is Scared of Black People

It's a light news day for a blogger like myself. Sure, there were those Congressional Hearings on Rap Music yesterday on the Hill, but after watching the proceedings on CSpan, there wasn't much blog-worthy, and besides, What About Our Daughters already did a great job of recapping this. Boy, is that David Banner a screwed up and delusional young man or what? Pray for Mr. Crump.

So, while I wouldn't usually bother posting something so trivial, I had to share this recent nugget on our favorite black culture nemesis, Bill O'Reilly.

During the September 19 edition of his nationally syndicated radio program, discussing his recent trip to have dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton at Sylvia's, a famous restaurant in Harlem, Bill O'Reilly reported that he "had a great time, and all the people up there are tremendously respectful," adding: "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship."

Later, during a discussion with National Public Radio senior correspondent and Fox News contributor Juan Williams about the effect of rap on culture, O'Reilly asserted: "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.' You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

Desperate for another race-related story for their 24 hour news cycles, some media outlets are attempting to compare O'Reilly's latest case of brainfreeze to the Don Imus 'Nappy Headed Hoes' incident of earlier this year. And on the surface, without hearing the entire conversation in context, it's easy to see where they're coming from.

However, after listening to the audio of the exchange between O'Reilly and Juan Williams (who didn't bother correcting O'Reilly), I can only really get so upset about this. To me, maybe, just maybe O'Reilly's cultural expedition into black America just might have enlightened him that we do have some semblance of culture beyond Cam'ron and Ludacris. On the other hand, I've been to Sylvia's, and to put it nicely, the food there tastes like shit (sorry, I tried to be nice). If Sharpton wanted to give O'Reilly a better dose of soul food, he could have taken him to any baptist church and just thrown down after service in the basement.

Maybe this sort of Cultural Anthropology is something that can similarly enlighten other whites. If O'Reilly is amazed that black people can actually sit in a family restaurant and eat bad artery clogging food without saying "M.F. I want more iced tea", then perhaps the legions of Americans (his show is still the top rated cable news show, so somebody's watching) who subscribe to similar trains of thought can also be saved.

You Too, Can Help Improve Race Relations in America: Invite Bob from Accounting to lunch with you today.

Just don't take him to Sylvia's, cause, you know, diarrhea isn't really part of black culture either.

O'Reilly surprised "there was no difference" between Harlem restaurant and other New York restaurants [MediaMatters]

SuperHead Is About To Get SuperSued

I've made no bones about my contempt and outright disgust for this Karrine "SuperHead" Steffans chick. For those of you unaware, this ex music video "star" more or less slept with every famous black man you can name (and a few Jews for networking purposes), then wrote a book about it called I Blew All These Rich & Famous Guys, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt The Confessions of a Video Vixen. As if being a professional ho wasn't bad enough, the fact that the woman has been able to turn this whole charade into a profitable career is perhaps worse. The book shot to #1 on the NY Times Bestseller list. Steffans made the cable news and talk radio circuit, somehow spinning her lascivious ways into a story of women's empowerment and sexual independence. Fannie Lou Hamer cried inside.

The fallout of her more or less "outing" lots of the men she slept with has been huge. Shaq just filed for divorce, and I'm pretty sure his wife will use the entire chapter of Confessions dedicated to him as Exhibit A for his philandering. Bobby Brown got caught up too. So did Method Man. I'm not saying these guys aren't partly responsible for wrecking their own marriages/babymama arrangements, but damn, where's the honor amongst adulterers? By em... "kissing" (among other things), and telling, Steffans violated damn near every G-Code of post-coital snitching.

That's not to say that every man who got outted by Steffans is just gonna take the whole thing lying down (pun intended).

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans is set for a huge pay day when her new book I Blew All These Rich & Famous Guys, Wrote A Book, And Now I Have A Benz The Vixen Diaries hits book stores later on this week. But she may not have that money for long. That's because MediaTakeOut.com has learned that former 106 & Park host Darius "Big Tigger" Morgan has hired a lawyer and is set to sue Superhead for defamation.

The lawsuit stems from allegations that Superhead made regarding Tigger's sexuality. The former video vixen has publicly claimed that she caught Big Tigger nude and in bed with model Tyson Beckford. And according to Superhead, Tigger's anus was bleeding.

A close friend of Tigger tells MediaTakeOut.com that the former BET host is furious with Superhead for making those allegations. The insider explained, "[Superhead] went around making this ridiculous claim when her last book came out and now she's doing it again ... It' just a ploy to sell more books." The insider continued, "Last time [Tigger] let her get away with saying that, but not now - she's going o have to pay for lying on him like that."

And Tigger stands to receive a huge damage award. Tigger's pal told MediaTakeOut.com, "Everywhere [Tigger] goes, people are always talking about what Superhead said. She's really damaged his reputation ... And what makes it so bad is that what she said is 100% not true."

I won't even kid you, I'm not too big on this whole celebrity gossip tip, but I did hear the interview on Hot97 where Steffans "outed" Tigger, and I haven't really looked at dude the same way since. While her allegations weren't in that so-called book, they were all over the internet for anyone savvy enough to pull up that Wendy Williams interview a few years ago. And no, I'm not providing a link to that garbage.

I could really care less whether or not Tigger is gay. [||] It's not like he pays my mortgage or anything. Heck, I don't even watch 106 and Park, or whatever show he's doing nowadays. But on the flipside, hardly reputable chicks like Steffans (who has done low budget porn, and went through a phase of hard drug use) shouldn't just be able to talk greasy about a man's bedroom activities and get away with it. Reality is, the dude is in the entertainment industry, and such allegations can really ruin your career in a line of work where perception is reality.

Then again, Steffans is in the entertainment industry too, and I can't help but wonder about the timing of this lawsuit. Is it possible that Tigger's attorneys want to spur more sales of the book, and thus increase his likelihood of a good settlement? Is this all just a guise to get free pub for the book? If so, what little sympathy I have for Tigger is gone too.

Still, as I noted before, I can't believe that there isn't more outrage about this woman. She has essentially legitimized the whole concept of Video-"Dancer" (I won't call her what she really deserves to be called) as a career path. As much as male artists, female rappers, record companies, and radio stations are (rightly) accused of promoting the stereotype of hypersexualized black women as little more than sex objects, I can't believe this women has somehow managed to dodge the silver bullet of criticism. She is a walking, talking, and (repeatedly) kneeling embodiment of every bad label ever pinned on black women. Yet she keeps on making books and TV appearances, and I'm sure there's a WifeTime/BET Blackbuster straight-to-DVD movie being screenwritten as I type this.

Karrine Steffans is the prototypical, stereotypical Jezebel. More black people, especially women, should be highly pissed off that she's able to profit from this image. Where's the boycott of this ****** [offensive term in my head deleted]??? Folks should be picketing in front of her booksignings and urging her publishers to stop putting out this sorta trash.

Karrine Steffans is doing more to hurt the black female image than Debra Lee ever could. There, I said it.

Assuming his lawsuit is for the right reasons, I applaud Big Tigger [||] for manning up and trying to rehab what remains of his reputation. And if you're actually considering spending your hard earned money on I Blew All These Rich & Famous Guys, Wrote A Book, And Now I Have A Benz The Vixen Diaries and further contributing to this foolishness, just go ahead and kill yourself. Life isn't getting any easier.

Diahann Carroll, Lena Horne, Cicely Tyson, Phyllicia Rashad, and scores of other black women who have conducted themselves in public with class, grace, and yes, dignity, are crying inside.

[Note: I realize and despise the fact that I am indirectly helping publicize this woman's book with this post, thus the numerous strikethrus strikethrus above. And for anyone wondering, no, I did NOT buy I Blew All These Rich & Famous Guys, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt The Confessions of a Video Vixen. I borrowed a copy from a woman sitting next to me on a long cross-country flight. Since it was written on a sixth grade level, it was a pretty quick read. Alice Walker must be crying inside too.]

106 AND PARK'S BIG TIGGER HIRES LAWYER - PREPARES TO SUE SUPERHEAD OVER CLAIMS THAT HE HAD GAY AFFAIR WITH TYSON BECKFORD [MediaTakeOut]

BONUS: Listen to SuperHead get Embarassed on Detroit Radio Interview [WJLB 98FM]

Are There Really More Black Men In Jail Than Yale!?!?

In last week's post on Non-Urban Dictates and other B.S. I attempted to correct some commonly regurgitated misinformation. This weekend, watching more Jena 6 recaps, and other random crap on cable news, I heard the following saying about 400 times.

"There are more black men in jail than college."

It was spouted by Jesse Jackson, DL Hughley, and countless white commentators when discussing the societal ills of black America, post-Jena Six.

For the umpteenth time, can we please correct this misconception.

There are NOT more black men in jail than college!!!!!
There are NOT more black men in jail than college!!!!!
There are NOT more black men in jail than college!!!!!
There are NOT more black men in jail than college!!!!!
There are NOT more black men in jail than college!!!!!

Period. Just check the stats.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics' publication "Prison and Jail Inmates at Midyear 2000" does indeed estimate 791,600 African Americans in prison or jail at that time. However, the figures for African-American college enrollment, derived from the National Center for Education Statistics, look very different from the figures issued by the Census Bureau, which are used in the official government "data book," the Statistical Abstract. Those figures show a total of 804,000 African-American males over the age of 17 enrolled in college in October 2000.

If you don't believe the statistics (and I wouldn't blame you, this being the gubb'ment and all), go dig them up for yourself. The 2005 statistics, quoted in this article confirm that the trend continues today, but I can't find any reliable data to back this up.

Even if there were more black men behind bars than in college, you have to really think about the numbers. Just how old is your typical college student? I know some folks continue education later in life, and many are in graduate schools well into their 30's, but typically people attend college between the ages of 18-24. Prison? Not so much? You can catch a charge at damn near any point in your life. So, comparing a relatively small sample (18-24) versus a large one (16-Infinity) is misleading anyway. Stats 101 would tell you this.

How did this silly rumor get spread in the first place? Maybe it's just another Grand Hu$tle by The Man to make us think less of ourselves. Maybe this was true at some point in the past. Or, just maybe, it's yet another example of how we as a people don't bother fact checking or confirming the source of things we hear before we regurgitate them on to the next person. Heck, some people probably think Tupac is still alive. Is there no hope for us!!?

Let's start celebrating the good things about our people, specifically black men, who pretty much get a knee to the groin by society (and themselves) every day.

And the next time you hear somebody rattle off that B.S., be sure to correct them.

Behind Books, Not Bars [TCS Daily]

Isaiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury Have NO Love for Black Women

With OJ and Jena in the news, the whole MSG vs Anucha Browne Sanders sexual harassment case/soap opera has mercifully flown under the radar. But that didn't stop this gem from surfacing the other day.

African-Americans Tuesday criticized New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas for saying it was less offensive for black men than for white men to call black women "bitches."

"A white man calling a black woman 'bitch,' that is wrong with me. I'm not accepting that. That's a problem for me," Thomas said in a videotaped deposition shown during a trial brought against the team by a former marketing executive who claims she was harassed by Thomas and wrongfully terminated.

Asked if he was bothered by a black man calling a black female "bitch", Thomas said: "Not as much. I’m sorry to say, I do make a distinction."

That comment prompted the new resurgence of an old debate over who, if anyone, could use derogatory epithets, and when, if ever, it was acceptable to use them.

"The National Action Network and I are unequivocally against a person of any race, color or creed calling a person a 'nigga' 'bitch' or 'ho,' and further, that no person regardless of his or her race, has the right to make misogynistic or sexist remarks against another person," the Rev. Al Sharpton told ABC NEWS.com in an e-mail.

The taped deposition was played by lawyers for Anucha Brown Sanders, a former vice president of marketing for the Knicks, who accuses Thomas of calling her "bitch," "f***ing bitch" and "ho." Sanders claimed she was fired when she complained about Thomas' comments and sexual advances. She is seeking $10 million and wants her job back.

I don't exactly know if this comment "prompted the new resurgence of an old debate". I mean, I was at the barbershop this weekend, and all anybody was talking about was the Redskins (who totally suck, BTW). I love how "the media" can just manufacture an epidemic by asking the two or three "black experts" they have on speed dial for their opinions.

Still, how the heck does Isaiah explain this? He's effectively saying that it's okay for a brotha to call a black woman a bitch, but if a white guy does it, he's catching a beatdown. You could substitute the word "nigga" here, and probably apply similar logic to how many black folks (not all) feel about the word.

BTW, I'm don't really use the words bitch and ho, but I do occasionally float around the "N-Word". Contrary to what many of you might think, I actually don't curse much at all in my non-blog life, but I consider the word "nigga" to be more or less an expletive. One thing I don't consider it is a term of endearment. Period. Folks who claim they are "taking the stigma from the word" by claiming it as a such are delusional. I am sure 90% of the time, these very folks use the word to describe a foul, ignorant person of their behavior. But I digress.

Either way, Freaky Zeke is in some real trouble. Chances are, this whole harassment case will end up getting settled out of court, as it should have been in the first place. But Isaiah's reputation, which was already not exactly crystal clean (poor coaching, ruined the CBA, iffy decisions as an exec, freezing out MJ, the bad mouthing of Larry Bird) is definitely shot beyond repair now. Assuming he gets the chance to coach this season (expert opinion is that he'll be fired is the Knicks lose this case), the Knicks sorry roster will guarantee this year is his swan song anyway.

In related Knicks news, point guard Stephon Marbury's summer from hell just keeps getting worse. After some truly odd public behavior, his testimony during the trial just further erodes his recently rehabbed reputation.

The former intern who had a sordid tryst in a truck with Knicks guard Stephon Marbury could testify as early as tomorrow in the explosive sex-harassment suit against the star's coach, Isiah Thomas.

Kathleen Decker, 24, is expected to be called by defense lawyers in a $10 million federal civil complaint pressed by former Knicks executive Anucha Browne Sanders against team president and coach Thomas and Madison Square Garden.

Marbury has already reluctantly admitted that he had sex with Decker in his pickup truck after the team went on a group strip-club outing in April 2005

Decker isn't exactly all that great looking either. Or black.

Happy Trails to the Angelic Marbury. We hardly knew ye'. And now that Big Ben Wallace and Venus Williams are selling cheap shoes of their own, we don't need you either.

Man, would training camp hurry up and open? Please!!!

Remarks by Isiah Thomas Reignite Debate over Racist, Sexist Language [ABC News]

Intern to Testify In Isaiah Trial [NYPost]

Jena Six: The Day After

I don't normally comment on comments to my own blog (it's kinda silly when you think about it), but after scanning over today's comments on AverageBro Blogs Live! From Jena, LA, I think some people have it twisted here.

Contrary to what some might think, I have presented a boatload of solutions here on this blog, time after time. I wouldn't expect those of you visiting for the first time to know this, but damn, give me some benefit of the doubt.

I am actively a part of the very solutions that I advocate. These include, but certainly are not limited to coaching, tutoring, mentoring, church outreach, working with the homeless, spreading information via this blog, and last but not least, marriage, fidelity, and raising my own kids. It would be ludicrous, not to mention wildly hypocritical of me to spout off rhetoric without backing it up in my personal life. Trust me, my credentials are legit.

My post about the Jena Six, and specifically, some of my comments about the excessive partying down in Alexandria, and the overall Freaknik atmosphere struck a few nerves (thanks to this post somehow ending up on Michael Baisden's freaky-deaky singles website MingleCity). Then again, if I was so baseless in my criticism of the seemingly misguided intentions yesterday, why have the black radio airwaves, from Russ Par, to Warren Valentine, to Rev' Al himself, inundated with discussion about the lackadaisical approach of many march attendees, Baisden's perhaps misguided influence (the man did sponsor a pre-party and book signing for this march), and the long term effects of this march? Call me a hater, but if some of the very men at the forefront of this movement are echoing the same sentiments, then just maybe I was onto something.

Many people have mentioned that now Congressman Jefferson, Maxine Waters, and others are taking this issue to Capitol Hill as a result of the march, as if that somehow validates the mission. Bullshit! These folks are elected officials. It's their JOB!!!! If Jefferson wasn't so busy stealing money from Africans and stashing it in his freezer, he might have done something for his constituents sooner. Let's not forget, Mychal Bell has been in jail since December 2006.

On the flip side, I may have undervalued the long term effect that this event might have had on its' younger attendees. I consider community service an obligation today, precisely because my parents lead by example and took me to many such events as a child. Could the Jena Six really lead young people to lives of activism? Maybe, maybe not. But considering how kids are today and the role that technology pays in informing people of issues today, doing something more structured to guide these students once they returned home just might have been a good idea.

Then again, this is just one black man's opinion. And we know what they say about opinions.

Still, if you really want to help, be proactive, that's all I'm saying.

Think about it: we're so busy trying to rescue our kids from jail, or defending them when shot by police, that we don't bother working with them at an early enough age to present them with other ways of live that might prevent them from landing in those very predicaments in the first place. That's why tutoring/mentoring is so important. If a black child still can't read by the time he's in 10th grade, then eventually, given today's economy, he's gonna end up in jail anyway. It's not a happy message, but it's damn sure true. Why else do you think prison systems plan their future capacities by looking at current day 4th grade reading scores? There's not really any getting around this.

Be proactive.

If you're in the DC area, come out and support me, and dozens of other brothers who are taking a proactive approach on changing our communities, rather than waiting for the next atrocity, and the next march. It's an endless cycle.

Help me break it by becoming a tutor/mentor in the University of Maryland's MIMAUE Mentoring Program. Help is still needed.

For all those who support my PoV, thanks for being open minded. For those who didn't, please, tell me, exactly what are YOU doing about the problem, outside of flaming?

Now comment on that.

Ludacris vs MLK : N-Word Please - The Sequel

A few weeks ago, we bought you the truly bizarre story of Eddie Griffin vs Black Enterprise honcho Earl Graves. Griffin, invited to a stodgy corporate event, couldn't get 5 minutes into his act without dropping the N-Bomb repeatedly. Graves, feeling betrayed, pulled the plug on his act in the name of decency. My biggest take-away was that while Griffin was truly a moron, Graves was more to blame because he should have known what he was getting himself into.

Apparently the folks who organized the recent Build The Dream Concert to benefit the upcoming MLK Memorial in DC apparently don't read AverageBro. Maybe they should.

The NY Daily News reports...

Martin Luther King Jr. gave his life fighting the N-word, but that didn't stop Ludacris from dropping the racist epithet while slinging his "Money Maker" during the benefit "Dream" concert for the MLK memorial in D.C.

While I commend Ludacris' ascension from punchline rapper to respectable actor, I have to wonder why in the hell he thought singing "Shake Your Money Maker" at a benefit concert for MLK was a good idea. I mean, we know Dr. King was a freak and all, but damn. Maybe "Move Bitch" would have been more appropriate, since, you know, Dr. King had to push a lot of people out of the way in his fight for Civil Rights.

A better idea: the folks who organized this concert should have invited Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, Phonte from Little Brother, or some other semi-intelligent rapper who could have represented hip hop in a civil manner worthy of this occasion, rather than going for a name.

Please donate something, anything (as little as $5) to the MLK Memorial so we don't have to disgrace his legacy with more concerts. It's quick, it's easy, and you get a cool baller wristband and a lapel pin for your trouble.

Just do something before the fundraisers get more desperate and lower the bar for their next concert. I seriously doubt the dream King died for involved "Crankin' Dat Soulja Boy" to raise money from his monument.

MLK is really crying inside.

Did Ludacris Disrespect Dr. Martin Luther King? [SOHH]

AverageBro Blogs Live! From Jena, LA

Well, okay, not quite live. And not quite Jena either. I've actually been following today's proceedings, not on CNN or any other corporate owned juggernaut, but at a more bootleg level, listening to Radio One's live coverage of the event on wolam.com most of the morning here from my Day Job. You gotta love technology.

I've been pretty critical of this whole Jena Six phenomenon, not because I don't agree with the cause (I totally do), but because I think it reveals the inherent issue with modern day activism in black America. It seems like we can only organize on a large scale when there's racism involved.

Translation: Unless there's a white person doing harm to blacks, we just don't really care.

My biggest problem with this whole "movement" is that it's reactive, rather than proactive. If you're always laying in the cut, and only responding when something wrong is done to you, your situation will never improve as a whole. It's like the parent who goes storming down to the school when their child gets a failing report card, but doesn't bother checking homework every night, which might have prevented the bad result in the first place.

Everyone jumped on the first bus to Jena, and left behind the all too familiar, all too real problem plaguing our communities. And surprise, it ain't DA Reed Walters, disgusting a human being as he is. Nope, it's Tyrone. I'm still waiting for that march though. Sign me up now.

So, while I definitely support the push for justice for Mychal Bell, and the other 5 young men, I just wonder what the long term result of mobilizing 30,000 people for one day will be. Color me skeptical.

Naturally, since I couldn't make it to Louisiana today (ha!), I decided to monitor the minute by minute report via Syndication One. For those of you unaware, S.O. is Radio One's syndicated black talk radio network. It probably airs in a city near you, but you probably wouldn't know since the stations aren't well promoted and are usually stuck in AM purgatory. Anyways, I listen frequently, since I'm not a big Hot/Jammin/Power/Kiss/Jamz/Big FM "where Hip-Hop and R&B lives" station listener. No offense, but by age 30-something, if you're still taking in hours of "Ay Bay Bay", "Suicidal", "Sexy Lady" and "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" on the daily, just go ahead and kill yourself right now. Life isn't going to get any easier.

I'm currently listening to Keepin' It Real with Rev. Al Sharpton, but The Warren Valentine Show, which comes on from like 10am-1pm EST was more enlightening in terms of on-the-ground happenings in Jena.

Among the many nuggets I gleaned from listening [forgive the choppiness, I keep updating this as the show goes on]:

* Jena looks like Freaknik. It's unorganized, there are people, music, and stages all over the place, with little uniformity or apparent purpose.

* Lots of stars are there in the name of "support". They also happen to be promoting their new music/movie releases. Frankie Beverly and Maze, UGK (see above pic of Bun B), and others are out and about.

* There are lots of "party fliers" for Jena 6 after parties in nearby Alexandria, being passed around. MySpace rappers, with their demo tapes and those cheap CD's they pressed on their mother's computers are all over the place. Bootleg t-shirts, rib tips, and probably nice dime bag can all be procured with ease. It's like we never left home.

* Reverend Al led a colossal sang-a-long to Bill Wither's "Keep On Usin' Me (Till You Use Me Up)". It's a great song, but I think I missed it's significance in the grand scheme of things. The net result made me wonder if I was listening to a rally for justice, or the Tom Joyner Sky Show. I know music has always played a role in the civil right's movement (James Brown's "I'm Black and I'm Proud" is an athem), but this shit just seemed so out of place.

* Michael Baisden then lead the crowd on a sing-a-long of Robin Thicke's "Lost Without You". Yes. Really. I damn near threw my laptop out my 10th floor office window.

* Later in the day, on The Michael Baisden Show, with the rally long over, and congregants back in Alexandria, Baisden opened the 6pm segment of his show by announcing "It's a Par-taay!!!". In between angry phone calls to AverageMom, AverageSisterInLaw (missed you), and my AverageSiblings, I faintly heard "The Double Dutch Bus" and that new Alicia Keys playing in the background. I was pretty pissed about this. I mean, 6 black men have been inordinately (but not wrongly, there was after all an assault here) charged with a crime. What the fuck is there to party about? I called AverageMom for the skinny. She said Civil Rights Marches of her time were an all day affair, a serious deal, because despite the cause of solidarity, danger was always just around the corner. I seriously doubt folks left for the March on Washington and packed "club gear" with them.

* I heard Baisden also threw a pre-party the night before with $10 admission, as well as a book signing.

* There was lots of bellyaching about why athletes and actors didn't donate more money for buses to get people there. Classic "pass the blame" excuse.

* The "main stage", where Sharpton, and Michael Baisden are hosting their radio shows, has turned into nothing more than The Soundbyte Olympics 2007. Every bootleg preacher, politician (including disgraced Congressman William Jefferson), and straight to DVD Hollywood star (like "Next Friday"'s Kym Whitley) had taken their 15 seconds on stage to spout lots of irrelevant rhetoric. I get the distinct impression that many of these people don't really have a good grasp of the particulars of this case.

[I'm sure many of you will read this and say "well, you weren't there, how do you know what happened?" And yes, that's partly true. But if you can dispute any of what I wrote here, or tell me anything, and I mean, anything that this march accomplished, do tell. Kill me in the comments section. Educate me.]

As I kept listening, I couldn't help but feel that my prediction of more Drive-By Activism today in Jena was going to prove true. Because as far as I can tell, there was no organized push for mobilization on a local level. None. Maybe some of this will just rub off by osmosis, but I doubt it. After all, what exactly, other than Spike Lee's horrendous "Get On The Bus" is the lasting legacy of the Million Man March? Yes, it was a powerful statement for one day, but our communities, a decade later, aren't any better off as a whole.

Real change requires a call to action, which I didn't hear yesterday between all the yellin' and sangin'. Perhaps the organizers of this thing could have signed people up for coaching, tutoring, or mentoring programs, financial awareness seminars, classes on parenting, hell something, anything that would make a lasting difference. And since there were SO many young people there (a point overly emphasized throughout the day), did anyone consider signing these kids up for service organizations in the communities around their schools? Did anyone consider signing these kids up for a class on financial literacy so they don't ruin their credit (and thus employment opportunities) before they even graduate? Did anyone do anything to empower these people once they go home? Maybe so, but unless I completely missed it, all anybody was focused on was the After Party.

Tomorrow, all 30,000 of these people will be gone. White-owned businesses throughout the county will be laughin' straight to the bank, despite calls from event organizers to not support these very businesses, thus giving these very oppressors an economic boom. The streets will be littered with Popeyes' boxes, party flyers, and probably more than a few blunt roaches. Reverend Al will be on to his next media-whoring cause. Baisden and his tired show will go back to talking about down-low brothers, shady preachers, and triflin' baby mamas.

And everyone who trekked to Jena will return back to communities still filled with crime, still filled with underachieving students in underfunded schools, still living in homes financed by predatory lenders, still listening to radio tainted with the vocoder stylings of T-Pain and Akon. Until, of course, the next rally/march/par-taaay.

This ain't a movement, it's just an event. And there is a big difference.

In short, September 20th, 2007 won't change shit.

---

Epilogue: If you really want to help these kids longterm, keep praying for the Jena Six after today, and while you're are it, pour out a lil' liquor for their Legal Defense Fund. I'm sick of David Bowie getting all the credit, like this is Dangerous Minds, or Finding Forrester or some other White Guy Saves The Darkies idd-ish.

Kanye Won. We All Lost.

[Ggggg-Gorilla Uniiitt!!]

Well, the final tally is in, and despite my prediction, not only did Kanye beat Kenny Chesney, but so did 50 Cent.

The official numbers are in and Kanye West's album Graduation has emerged as the United States' #1 album on the Billboard Top 200 Charts. West's album Graduation moved over 957,000 copies its first week in stores, besting 50 Cent's album Curtis, which sold 691,000 copies.

According to Nielsen SoundScan, West also earned the largest opening-week sales total in over two years, since 50 Cent's album The Massacre opened with 1.1 million copies in March 2005. Billboard reports that Graduation also snagged the largest week for a digital album download with 133,000 copies, breaking the record of 102,000 set by the Maroon 5's album "It Won't Be Soon Before Long."

Well whoop de-damn do! Kanye outsells 50 by nearly 300,000 copies. We all thought we were witnessing (in the words of one sage 106th and Park host) "a moment in hip-hop history". If only folks could get so excited about stuff that actually makes a difference, like you know, voting.

50 Cent, self-proclaimed marketing genius, says the whole thing was rigged, and Roc-A-Fella records bought copies of "Graduation" to pad Kanye's numbers. He also says that despite prior promises of retiring if he lost, he's staying the game. The NY Times claims this amazing sales week has "saved the music industry".

I'm sure the masses will tout this as a victory of substance over style, real hip-hop over gangsta rap, pseudo intellectualism over crass prison culture. Bull. Shit.

The real winner here is General Electric. If you're somehow unaware, they own Universal Records. Universal Records owns Island Records and Interscope, which own Def Jam/Rocafella and Aftermath/Shady respectively.

Talk about a Grand Hu$tle.

So (as always), score one for Capitali$m. The Man wins either way you dice it.

Jeffrey R. Immelt is smiling inside, and Laughin' Straight to the Bank wit' this. Ha. Ha. Ha. Haaaaaa.

Kanye West Bests 50 Cent in Album Sales [AP]

Non-Urban Dictates, Tavis, Tom, and Other Tales of Urban Lore

[Tom Joyner, Tavis Smiley, and some random other dude I couldn't PhotoShop out]

Not a week, heck, not a day goes by that I don't get something fishy in my Inbox. And no, I'm not talking about "Enough is Enough!" hate mail, I'm talking about emails like this one, which AverageSisterInLaw (who helps me come up with about 75% of my post ideas) forwarded me just last week:

Tom Joyner wants this information to reach his listeners.....

You have probably heard of NUD as a result of the Tom Joyner morning show related to CompUSA. NUD is the acronym for a very subtle and little-known marketing term specifically directed toward people of color.

NUD stands for Non Urban Dictate. These three words essentially mean that a company is not interested in the Black consumer. A NUD label means that a company does not want their marketing and advertising materials placed in media that claim an urban audience(black folks)as their main target. There are legitimate reasons for companies not using urban radio. It may be that Blacks don’t index high in certain categories or that a company’s strategy is to market to the Black consumer down the road after they have established a strong position in their primary target.

But NUD usually means that a company is not interested in the Black consumer. Companies evade discrimination liability by embracing it as theory rather than policy.

As a service to Black consumers, the Urban Institute will list all companies that have a NUD policy. Armed with this information, we feel that Black consumers will be able to make informed buying decisions.

Companies with NUD policies:

a.. Starbucks
b.. Jos. A Bank
c.. CompUSA
d.. Weight Watchers
e.. Keebler
f.. Life Savers
g. Continental Airlines
h.. Northwest Airlines
i.. America West Airlines
j.. HBO - Apollo Series
k.. Paternal Importers
l.. Calico Corners
m.. OM Scott
n.. Pepperidge Farms
o.. Ethan Allen
p.. Busy Body Fitness
q.. Mondavi Wines
r.. Builders Square
s.. Don Pablo
t.. Lexus
u.. Aruba Tourism
v.. Ciba Vision
w.. Kindercare
x.. Grady Restaurant
y.. Eddie Bauer

Please forward this information on to any other consumer that you consider a friend and advise them to do likewise. Remember, we can’t act wisely unless we are informed wisely.

I've seen this email, or some variation of it floating around since, well, since I first got an email address, which means it's been awhile. Since I'm just skeptical by nature (I'm an engineer, so shoot me), I tend to not take (any?) everything at face value. But I can't lie and say that I haven't looked at Starbucks or the Ethan Allen store with a bit of an evil eye ever since. Not that I actually go in, or shop there of course, because well, Ethan Allen is pretty darn expensive furniture.

Even if these Non Urban Dictates are true, let's face it, on some level, all they are are marketing schemes. Period. Companies spend billions on data profiling to figure out the demographic of their ideal customers. Just like I wouldn't dream of shopping at Ethan Allen for the aforementioned reasons, they shouldn't waste precious marketing dollars targeting people like me. That's not racist, that's just plain smart business.

But then again, what black person do you know that doesn't like Lexuses? Heck, AverageMom drives one. So does AverageGrandma. And I see Lexus ads in every black magazine I open. There are Starbucks all over the black community. And name one Negro who hasn't had those Pepperidge Farms Goldfish crackers. So, something clearly doesn't add up.

Clearly, going on record and writing such things as "don't market to the ghettos" are obviously over the line, but in this Post-Texaco and Denny's day and age, I'd like to think people are at least a bit smarter than that.

Turns out I'm right. Sorta.

This morning on my commute, I heard black talk show host Joe "The Black Eagle" Madison (a guy whom I respect, but who is notorious for spreading half-baked info) spout off the same NUD email on the air, and I knew I had to get to the bottom of this. I whipped out the BBCurve, pulled up Google, and faster than you can say "hoax", this whole thing was proven untrue.

Urban Institute Not Involved with So-Called Non-Urban Dictate List

April 5, 2002, The Urban Institute, a nonprofit, nonpartisan research and educational organization, has been incorrectly cited in circulating e-mail and fax lists of companies with "non urban dictates," or N.U.D.s (NUDs). The email and fax incorrectly cite the Urban Institute as the organization that compiles or maintains the "NUD list."

The Urban Institute is not in any way associated with the purported research or with any supposed list of companies with NUDs, and never was. It has nonetheless been inundated with inquiries.

The Urban Institute was wrongfully credited with maintaining the "NUD list" four years ago, thanks to what is assumed to be a misspelling of Urban Insite-an organization that once claimed responsibility for the NUD list. Later iterations of the circulating email include the Urban Institute's address, phone number and Internet address. The fax version includes falsified Urban Institute letterhead.

As a response to numerous phone inquiries, the Urban Institute has dedicated a special phone line to explain the issue at (202) 261-5779.

Well how do ya' like that? The Urban Institute does indeed exist, but this email ain't real. Don't believe me? Call the number yourself. Go head, I'll be here when you get back.

This made me think about the other scores of chain emails that have made their way around the net that have similarly been revealed as BS. You know, like the one about the black market for kidneys. Or the Nigerians who want to send you millions of dollars if you just give them your bank account number. Or the one about Microsoft giving you money for forwarding emails (c'mon, you had to know that was BS). Denzel's massive donation to the Veteran's hospital? How about the ole' Oprah vs The Racist Tommy Hilfiger face off (which I even heard from the pulpit in church)? All forwarded billions of times. All hoaxes. All full of crap.

Chances are, 90% of such emails you get are fake. Completely. Some might ask exactly why this is a bad thing? What does it hurt? What's the problem if it IS fake? Who cares? Well, just ask Tavis Smiley and Tom Joyner, who believed a fax allegedly on CompUSA lettehead stating that the company CEO didn't and wouldn't advertise on black radio (namely, Joyner's show) because blacks didn't buy computers, back in the mid 90's. Smiley and Joyner used their considerable media clout to push for a boycott against CompUSA without bothering to fact check and substantiate such a dubious claim. Emails were forwarded. Letters were written. Calls to corporate were placed. People were mad. It was Drive-By Activism at it's finest. Heck, even I gave CompUSA the evil eye as I drove by the store.

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, Smiley and Joyner dropped the boycott and were completely close-lipped about the whole thing. Later, it way revealed that CompUSA threatened both with a lawsuit for slander, and the fax was nothing more than drivel. While they later claimed victory on-air, Smiley lost his BET Tonight gig, and has been an infidel on public radio and TV ever since. Yes, I know, he hosts The Annual Soundbyte Olympics on C-Span4, but his influence has definitely withered. And we end up with Take The Cake in his former 11pm time slot. Yes, folks, these emails can cause trouble.

How do you spot a fake email?

1. If it sounds too good to be true, use your Negro Intuition and surmise that it probably is.
2. Research. Just Google the main keywords (ie: "non urban dictate") in the email and see what you get back.
3. Look for telltale signs like "forward this to everyone" and "this is not a hoax".
4. Watch out for overly EMPHATIC LANGUAGE WITH LOTS OF CAPS AND EXCLAMATION SIGNS!!!!! Real info isn't communicated that loudly.
5. Check sites like Snopes.com and Hoax-Slayer.com which specialize in keeping lists of such urban legends.
6. Forward THIS message to everyone in your address book. The link is that little envelope below.

Whatever you do, think before you forward.

Information is power, but misinformation is just plain ignorance.

Ok, now you can go grab that mocha-chi latte with triple soy without guilt.

How To Spot an Email Hoax [About.com]

Alan Keyes and the GOP's Half-Assed Quest For Black Votes

Every four years or so, we hear murmurs about the GOP getting serious about "stealing the black vote from the Democratic Party", as if black folks are some homogeneous herd of sheep who just blindly support a given political party.

Ooops, my bad, we actually are.

Anyways, we get treated to pandering speeches, quasi-propaganda (gay marriage becomes a wedge issue spouted in pulpits across Ohio, paving the way for Bush's re-election in 04'), and milquetoast "black politicians" like Lynn Swann, Michael Steele, and the GOP's favorite pinch-hitting token re-tread, Alan Keyes.

Keyes, whom you might remember for his short-lived jokes of a candidacy in 96' and 2000, and his even shorter-lived joke of a challenge to Barack Obama in 04', doesn't have anything better to do, so the GOP is enlisting his services for another few months in the name of "diversifying the ticket".

Alan Keyes, a Republican whose two previous runs for president ended in failure, is making a third try for the White House.

The Maryland conservative announced on his Web site that he filed paperwork with the Federal Election Commission on Friday to make his candidacy official. He joins a crowded Republican field of nine candidates and is scheduled to participate Monday night at a debate involving lesser-known candidates in Florida.

Keyes, a former State Department official under President Reagan, made unsuccessful presidential runs in 1996 and 2000. He also has been a Senate candidate from Maryland, and, in 2004, he suffered a 43-percentage point loss to Democrat Barack Obama in the Senate race in Illinois. Republicans drafted Keyes after primary winner Jack Ryan dropped out amid a scandal.

Every time I watch this guy speak, I can't help but think about the brilliant but slept-on movie Undercover Brother, which was easily Eddie Griffin's finest 15 minutes. There's a part in the movie where Undercover Brother goes, well, undercover as a corporate minion named Antoine Jackson (no photo available) to infiltrate "The Man".

Look at Keyes and tell me he ain't the real life Antoine Jackson. The resemblance is uncanny. Of course, he isn't exactly infiltrating anything. He is in "The Man's" back pocket.

Case in point: I couldn't help but notice the odd timing of Keyes' candidacy and the subsequent exodus of all big-name GOP candidates from the upcoming PBS Republican debate at Morgan State University.

U.S. Republican presidential hopefuls are citing scheduling conflicts for declining an invitation to a debate at an African-American college. Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Mitt Romney have sent their regrets to the organizers of a Sept. 27 debate at Morgan State University in Maryland.

The New York Daily News said Saturday the decision by so many of the top GOP contenders has irked debate organizers, who see it as a snub of the black vote. A spokeswoman for the Giuliani campaign told the News the accelerated campaign schedule this year has made it difficult for candidates to attend every debate to which they are invited.

Fred Thompson is rumored to be sending his regrets too, which means this nationally televised debate on "black issues" will probably have a bunch of 3rd tier candidates (Ron Paul, Huckabee, etc.) on a loosely populated with a noticeably slighted Tavis Smiley moderating. That could of course get very ugly, thus the call for Keyes just in time to save the day. It's not like he had anything better to do of course.

Remember this Grand Hu$tle when the GOP makes their token half-assed attempt to convince you that Rudy deserves your vote next November.

Here's some bonus footage of the man himself in action. Go Antoine, go! On the flipside, at least there's one GOP candidate we KNOW Barry can beat. Rudy? Not so much.



JC Watts is crying inside.

Keyes Makes 3rd Bid for Presidency [ABC]
GOP leaders beg off black-sponsored debate [UPI]

D. Wade, Keep It In Your Pants

Another day, another philandering NBA player getting hit with divorce papers. What's new?!?

If you see some women wandering the streets of Miami this weekend with that money-hungry look in their eyes, it's probably because Shaq isn't the only bachelor in town - Dwyane Wade is also getting divorced, so sayeth Miami Sports Blog. Nobody who parties in Miami is surprised by this. The couple has been together for quite some time ... so he'll probably be out $10 million.

I know some of you wonder why I even bother running such stories as this, or Shaq's divorce, or Travis Henry's 19 babies by 21 baby mamas. I guess it just totally and completely perplexes me why men like this with so much to lose financially keep on getting married knowing they don't really want to be in the first place. Or maybe they're getting married and just realizing shortly thereafter that they don't want to be. In either event, in most cases, any person who partakes in the nighttime scene in any major city can probably tell you a million stories of married ballers, athletes, politicians, and assorted celebrities who seem to live a double life.

Wade has always been presented to us as some sort of guy next door who made good, who married his baby mom who was down with him from Day One, and who doted over his young son. All of these things are probably true, but I've got folks in South Florida who can tell me opposite stories about him at this club or that with this model or that one. It's not really a new thing: Evander Holyfield, Shaq, MJ, Magic Johnson, etc. have all been marketed in the same manner and subsequently outed.

I guess what really gets me is the thin line these guys toe. Are they getting married because it's good for business (a married family guy image is easier to market)? If so, don't you more or less undo your financial gains when your wife inevitably gets tired of the cheating and cleans you out for half your wealth? It seems pretty counterproductive to me.

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until someone with the financial means contacts me about making this a legitimate business: Anyone with big money and big libido should get fixed and stay single. It keeps things nice and simple. No messy divorces, no custody battles, no allegations about bi-affairs with guys who "play doctors on TV". Life could be so easy.

[Note to all newbies: Don't misread the message. AvBro endorses marital fidelity and raising one's own kids. He endorses it so much he actually, well, does it himself.]

Maybe that's why I admire Wilt Chamberlain so much. [||] Now there's a guy who was true to himself. He was all about scoring (on and off court), not matrimony or unwanted kids. He set all sorts of records that will probably never be shattered. 100 points dropped. 25,000 women served. He never married. He had one child, long after he'd retired, whom he supported financially until his untimely demise. He wrote entertaining books. He did bad movies. He seldom dunked and even lead the league in assists one year. He should be your favorite baller's role model.

Instead, since these dudes nowadays can't be true to who they are, we end up with more and more stories like this, when we should just be talking about sports.

Note to D-Wade, and all other NBA ballers: Keep it in your pants.

Arthur Ashe is crying inside.

Is Dwyane Wade's Marriage Over? [AOL Sports]

Police Academy 7: Killadelphia, Pistolvania

I'm sure all you 70's Babies (that is, folks born in the 70's) remember those old Police Academy movies. At last count, there were probably like 14 of them, maybe more now with the straight-to-DVD craze. If you're unaware, these were cornball comedies featuring a cast of F-List celebs (Bubba Smith, a black dude who made funny voices with his mouth, 500 pound wrestler Tab Thacker, a busty bleach blonde, a black chick with a Michelle' voice), who suddenly found themselves as police recruits. Hilarity, and lots of bad sequels followed.

My favorite one was like Police Academy 8 (or something): Citizens on Patrol. In this one, a cash strapped police force had to recruit ordinary citizens to help catch the bad guys. There was the little old lady who cussed and couldn't shoot right, the bad assed skateboarding kids, and a host of other ne'r-do-wells. The whole thing of course ended badly, because hey, cops sorta kinda have to be trained, and it also helps if they have guns (Exhibit B: The Iraqi Police Force) to do the job.

Checking out this latest development from the City of Brotherly Thugs, I can't help but wonder if it's gonna end just as badly, minus Bobcat Goldthwait and a badly needed laugh track.

Philadelphia's embattled police chief, acknowledging that police alone cannot quell a run of deadly violence, has called on 10,000 black men to patrol the streets to reduce crime. Sylvester Johnson, who is black, says black men have a duty to protect more vulnerable residents. He wants each volunteer to pledge to work three hours a day for at least 90 days.

"It's time for African-American men to stand up," Johnson told the Philadelphia Daily News, which first reported the story Wednesday. "We have an obligation to protect our women, our children and our elderly. We're going to put men on the street. We're going to train them in conflict resolution."

Philadelphia, the nation's sixth-largest city, has nearly 1.5 million residents, 44 percent of them black. It has notched 294 homicides this year. More than 80 percent of the slayings involve handguns, and most involve young black males.

The men who join Johnson's program will not carry weapons or make arrests but will instead emphasize conflict resolution, similar to the Guardian Angels' ground rules.

The city's embattled police chief, acknowledging that police alone cannot quell a run of deadly violence, has called on 10,000 black men to patrol the streets to reduce crime.

Sylvester Johnson, who is black, says black men have a duty to protect more vulnerable residents. He wants each volunteer to pledge to work three hours a day for at least 90 days.

"It's time for African-American men to stand up," Johnson told the Philadelphia Daily News, which first reported the story Wednesday. "We have an obligation to protect our women, our children and our elderly. We're going to put men on the street. We're going to train them in conflict resolution."

Philadelphia, the nation's sixth-largest city, has nearly 1.5 million residents, 44 percent of them black. It has notched 294 homicides this year. More than 80 percent of the slayings involve handguns, and most involve young black males.

The men who join Johnson's program will not carry weapons or make arrests but will instead emphasize conflict resolution, similar to the Guardian Angels' ground rules.

On one hand, I applaud the police chief for stating the obvious: black folks need to quit allowing stuff to go down in their communities and stand up for something other than an Eagles game. The police don't always get it right, but they damn sure can't solve every problem or de-escalate every beef on their own. They need help, and black men need to be at the forefront of that help.

On the other hand, however, this program just seems doomed to fail. Asking men to volunteer for 3 hours a day is just too much. Even the most righteous brother has to put in 8 hours on the Day Job, eat, raise his kids, make sweet love to his woman, peep AverageBro.com, and sneak in a game or two of Madden. This doesn't add up to a spare three hours for most brothers I know.

Then of course, there's the whole "no gun and no arrest" bit. I mean, even a rent-a-cop has a flashlight. All these brothers will be equipped with is a cell phone with 911 on speed dial, and a prayer (which you need anyway). I don't see this really helping stop the violence. In fact, it might lead to more violence first.

I can already envision it...

[Scene: somewhere on Broad Street. A young man is busy sticking up another young man for his Andre Iguodala jersey and sneakers. Our Citizen on Patrol intervenes in hopes of resolving the conflict.]

Stick Up Kid: "Gimme that jersey and that fitted, ni**a. Hurry up, run dat'."

Citizen on Patrol, approaching from behind: "Excuse me, sir, could you please not rob this young man? That's a swingman jersey, it's worth $75. He has worked hard for that. Let's discuss some other alternatives."

S/UK, turning, incredulously: "Ni**a, who is you, 5-0?"

COP: "Nope, I'm just one of 10,000 concerned black men."

S/UK, laughing: "You packin'?"

COP: "No, I'm not packing. But I'd like to perhaps explore some other methods of resolving this conflict other than stealing this young man's possessions at gunpoint."

S/UK: "But you're not packin'?"

COP: "No, I'm not packing. But could we discuss some alternatives.."

S/UK, looking down at COP's shoes: "Aww, sh*t, is them the new Garnetts?"

COP: "Why, yes. Yes, they are. But let's discuss some alternative means of conflict reso.."

S/UK, turning gun toward COP: "Resolve this, mane. Run ya' wallet, and them new Garnetts. Early!"

COP: "Ok, sir."

[and... scene]

Forgive my making light of the situation here, but seriously, asking people to police without giving them tools and authority is downright lunacy. I don't doubt that many men interested in helping are going to consider this, as well as the time committment, and say "hey, when does the Eagles/Redskins game come on?"

For passing the baton on Drive-By Activism and asking people to really step up and help, I give Chief Sylvester Johnson some credit for thinking outside the box. But in this case, perhaps he thought a bit too far outside the box. Maybe asking men to assist with coaching/refereeing PAL basketball games, or tutoring neighborhood kids would be a more palatable request. As is, I just can't see many people answering this call for help, but it doesn't mean the call should go ignored.

Commandant Lassard is smiling inside.

Philly Seeks 10,000 Men to Guard Streets [AP]
10,000MenPhilly.com (Just In Case You ARE Interested)

BET Sucks and Enough Is Enough! Protest: Revisited

My post last week criticizing the validity of the protests at the home of BET CEO Debra Lee by DC group "Enough Is Enough!" got me lots, and I mean lots, of hate mail. Apparently lots of people think it's better to flood a brotha's inbox with greasy talk than constructively share their feedback in the comments section like reasonable and rational people do. But of course, I digress.

The protest did go off, without hitch this weekend. Thankfully, Lee (as I predicted, you know I got ESPN) wasn't home, and her neighbors didn't get antsy enough to call One Time.

More than 500 people demonstrated peacefully outside the Northwest Washington home of Debra Lee, Black Entertainment Television's chief executive, yesterday afternoon, demanding that the network stop airing what they call demeaning and offensive portrayals of African Americans. Led by the Rev. Delman L. Coates of Mount Ennon Baptist Church in Clinton, members of the Enough Is Enough Campaign said they will return every weekend until Lee addresses their grievances.

Lee was not home yesterday but said in a telephone interview she was disappointed that several attempts last week to arrange a meeting with the group had failed. Also, in a letter, she said BET plans to launch 16 "balanced" shows by year's end.

Several security guards blocked three gates around Lee's home in the 2800 block of McGill Terrace NW, while protesters marched and chanted for nearly two hours. Traffic on the otherwise quiet street, tucked into a stately residential area of Woodley Park, seemed largely unaffected. Police watched the protesters, who had been granted a permit, from the sidelines.

In an Aug. 23 letter to Lee, Coates requested a meeting. Lee said yesterday that she did not receive the letter until last week, after she had learned about the protest through a news release. Lee said Coates was told that if he brought the protest to BET's corporate headquarters in Northeast Washington, she would have spoken to him there. "I believe in freedom of speech, but if you really want to have an impact, the best way is to have a conversation -- not to protest in front of someone's house," Lee said. "I'm always willing to talk to our viewers."

Coates, 34, said yesterday, "Her people made a meeting conditional upon canceling the rally at her house."

As admirable as Delman Coates' idea is, it still strikes me as too little too late. Again, the real gangsters at BET ain't on New York Avenue. They're at CBS (it's no longer known as Viacom) headquarters in New York, and they don't care about anything other than ratings and ad revenue, and stock performance.

Trying to shame a corporate entity into being some socially responsible misses one huge piece of the equation: the word "corporate". CBS/Viacom is all about satisfying one audience: shareholders.

Don't believe me? Peep Viacom's Corporate Responsibility statement, ganked directly from their own website.

The Viacom Corporate Responsibility Council seeks to provide company-wide guidance and support to pro-social programs governed by our brands. While nurturing each business unit's distinctive identity, the Council collaborates on Company-wide pro-social efforts, as well as, projects at the business unit level. The Council educates employees and audiences about key pro-social issues to inspire, enlighten and ignite action in both the public arena and within our own employee family.

Our sub-committees are dedicated to the following areas:

HIV/AIDS
Employee Involvement
Global Initiatives
Green Initiatives

Not a single note about teaching morals and social responsibility to your kids, promoting education over entertainment, upliftment of the black female image, or saving black music from Akon and T-Pain's vocoders. None of that. In fact, that's the entire text of the page cut and pasted right there. That's it.

Investor Relations on the other hand? Well, there's a freakin' NOVEL on that site.

Again, these folks are in the business of being in business. Period.

My entire point: "Enough is Enough!" is fighting a good fight, but it's against the wrong opponent. Sure, this might eventually result in BET scrapping (or in the case of Hot Ghetto Mess, simply renaming) one of it's more controversial shows, but in the end, videos will play, asses and tits will shake, and the show, with or without Debra Lee (who clearly chose a good weekend to go to the spa) will go on. It's called Capitali$m, folks. It's not a new concept, and it ain't stoppin' no time soon.

Here's a few solutions, just in case the fine folks at "Enough Is Enough!" can spare a few moments from flaming me with junk emails to consider some workable alternatives.

1. Organize an email campaign to convince people to cut off BET. If nobody watches the station, they have to change. Period. Viewers = Ads. Ads = Money. Simple enough.

2. Patronize the few good shows BET does air. Contrary to popular belief, there is good programming on BET. As I've told ya'll a million times, Meet The Faith more than atones for the past sins of BET UnCut. But there's probably a good reason it's stuck in an awful 11am Sunday time-slot. Just like Tavis Smiley, Ed Gordon, BET News, and Heart & Soul, BET's actual quality shows fail because people spend more time watching 106th and Park. Ratings speak, and this just reinforces BET's aim to "give the people what they want". The people have spoken, and they wanna "Crank Dat Soulja Boy".

3. Think smaller. Organizing 500 people to come out on a beautiful Saturday to protest in front of an empty house is impressive. But organizing those same 500 people to come out on a beautiful Saturday and tutor/mentor/coach kids in their own community is even more impressive. Sometimes, we as black people miss the forest for the trees. Sure, working with kids isn't exciting, doesn't get your name in the papers, and sure as heck doesn't have an immediate return on investment, but it's going to make more of a longterm impact on actual lives than simply getting We Got To Do Better cancelled. Drive-By Activism works in the short term, because it's easy and everybody can do it. But real change takes time, sacrifice, and dedication. Learn the difference.

4. Help ME - Since I love putting in free plugs, I'll mention once more that any black men in the DC Area interested in helping our kids can join me and dozens of other brothers in the University of Maryland's MIMAUE Mentoring Program. Help is still needed.

Either way, I wish "Enough Is Enough!" the best, and despite what some people might think, I'm not in any way against what they, or any other organization is doing. I just wish their great intentions were better directed.

Channeling Their Discontent : 500 Gather at Executive's D.C. Home to Protest Stereotypes [WaPost]

Yep, OJ Did It...

TMZ has the incriminating audio. Have a listen for yourself. I've listened to this teaser, and I hate saying it, but there's plenty of indication that indeed some gunplay is involved.

TMZ has obtained an audio tape of O.J. Simpson's confrontation with a sports memorabilia dealer that led to his arrest on felony robbery charges. In it, you hear someone say, "You against the motherf*****g wall."

The tape was recorded by Thomas Riccio, who co-owns the auction house Universal Rarities. Riccio met up with Simpson just before the confrontation at the Palace Station Casino on Thursday night.

We're told Riccio was on hand to help Simpson prove certain memorabilia being auctioned by Alfred Beardsley was ill-gotten. Riccio says he believed Simpson was going to confront Beardsley in the hotel room to give him an ultimatum -- either hand over the goods or Simpson would call the cops.

Riccio turned his Olympus digital voice recorder on before the group entered the room -- a group that included Simpson and four other men. Almost immediately, Simpson went wild, hurling profanities at Beardsley and another memorabilia dealer, Bruce Fromong.

The confrontation lasts six minutes. It is graphic and telling. Simpson is clearly the ringleader. Simpson repeatedly says, "Think you can steal my s**t and sell it?"

Now was that some gangsta sh*t or what!?!? I don't know if I'm listening to OJ, a Gangsta Grillz mixtape skit, or Avon Barksdale on this audiotape, but this to me sounds pretty difficult to doctor.

Still, what kinda crap is it that these bamas just happened to have a digital audio recorder running? Didn't OJ allegedly kick in the door wavin' the 44!??! I guess they took a brief pause from "keep ya' hands high" to press that red record button. Odd. Again, something just doesn't quite add up.

Sorry Juice, this looks like the end of the line. They dug the grave and just happily leaped in head first. Johnny Cochran's pushin' up daisies, and we know the fine folks at Greenberg and Bederman can't exactly help you get away with this sorta stuff.

Don't drop the Lever 2000, Orenthal.

OJ's Alleged Robbery -- Caught on Tape [TMZ]

The (Alleged) Unbelievable Stupidity of Orenthal James Simpson

If at first they don't succeed... lock his ass up and try again.

Well, well, well. You just knew that after nearly two decades of licking that open wound that Cochran caused, The White Crusaders were just waiting to nail OJ on anything in the name of GetBack. He's caused more than his fair share of stupidity since The Trial of the Century. Stealing bootleg DirecTV. Appearing in a video game as a murderous running back. That stupid PPV interview. Writing a self-indicting tell-all. But nothing really stuck, until now.

And boy, if these allegations are true, The Juice won't be loose much longer.

O.J. Simpson was arrested Sunday and faces multiple felony charges in an alleged armed robbery of collectors involving the former football great's sports memorabilia, authorities said.

Prosecutors were planning to charge Simpson with two counts of robbery with use of a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit robbery, burglary with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and coercion, said Clark County District Attorney David Roger.

A conviction on the most serious charge, robbery with use of a deadly weapon, could bring a sentence of three to 35 years for each count, he said.

Simpson, 60, has said he and other people with him were retrieving items that belonged to him. Simpson has said there were no guns involved and that he went to the room at the casino only to get stolen mementos that included his Hall of Fame certificate and a picture of the running back with J. Edgar Hoover.

Simpson told The Associated Press on Saturday that he did not call the police to help reclaim the items because he has found the police unresponsive to him ever since his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, were killed in 1994.

I guess his rationale for not calling the cops makes sense. I mean, how seriously would they treat a call from OJ for help? But still, common sense and general Negro Intuition says something about this whole story just sounds very very wrong. Just how dumb would Orenthal have to be after all these years to call up a couple of armed weed carriers to help him retrieve a her throwback jerseys? I'd like to thank that the man's learned a thing or two since that notorious ride on the 405.

Also, I can't help but wonder how/if this is somehow coincidentally linked to the release of the Goldman's book. That sorta timing just doesn't happen. I mean really.

I can't believe I'm typing this, but I am gonna give The Juice the benefit of the doubt here. Something tells me that if this isn't an outright setup, then somebody here is definitely lying. 2 + 2 don't equal 32. It just doesn't add up.

On the other hand, barring any additional evidence to the contrary, I'd say they're getting a jumpsuit ready in Carson right about now. Cause if OJ did this, they he's headed upstate for awhile, and there's no Isotoners or exhumed remains of Johnny Cochran that can stop that.

Congrats Orenthal James Simpson! You've just reclaimed the title of Most Hated Negro on Earth!

Barry Bonds is laughing inside.

O.J. Simpson arrested in Vegas robbery [AP]

Toe Licking, Cross Eyed Bandit Apprehended

I so wish I was making this up.

A Minneapolis man has been charged with robbery after police say he robbed a woman of her keys and cell phone then took off her shoes and licked her toes.

According to the criminal complaint, Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, approached a woman who was leaving work around 1 a.m. Saturday. He said to her, in a very demanding voice, "put your cell phone and purse inside the bag". The complaint said that the 24-year-old woman was frightened so she complied. After giving Davis her belongings he demanded she take her shoes off. She complied and Davis responded "Now I'm going to suck your feet".

The victim told police that she was too shocked and scared to do anything. Davis then tried to suck her neck but as he approached her some people walked by and he took off. Police arrested the man a few minutes later about four blocks away. The woman identified the suspect and police were able to recover her keys and phone.

Davis has been charged with simple robbery and theft from a person, both felonies and his bail is set at $20,000.

Kids, repeat after me: "Crack is Wack, Crack is Wack!!!". Really, what more can I add that the mugshot doesn't already say for itself?

Davis' brother from another, the Ol' Dirty Bastard, is crying inside.

Mugger Who Licks Woman's Toes Charged With Robbery [WCBS]

Enough Is Enough Better Stay Off Debra Lee's Petunias

Those outside the DC Urrrea might not have heard anything about this weekend's "Enough Is Enough" rally to take place here. This march, which is only, uhhmm, about seven years too late, is scheduled to convene downtown, then march to the front yard of BET CEO Debra L. Lee.

Peep the details...

Determined to stop the entertainment industry from portraying negative images of black men and women, the "Enough is Enough!" Campaign will hold its first rally and demonstration at the Washington DC residence of Debra L. Lee, Chairman and CEO, Black Entertainment Television Networks. The demonstration will take place this Saturday, September 15th, at 1:00 p.m.

A press conference will be held at the site of the rally, 2800 McGill Terrace, NW, Washington, DC at 2:00 p.m.

Community leaders are fed up with derogatory media images of black men and women. Rev. Delman L. Coates, Ph.D., Organizer is championing this action. People of conscience and concern are encouraged to come out in support of this effort. The purpose of the campaign is to protest the commercialization and marketing of negative and derogatory images of black men and women in the entertainment industry. Weekly demonstrations will be held on Saturdays.

I knew McGill Terrace was in upper Northwest DC, but wasn't sure exactly where. A MapQuest search revealed that this joint is right near the National Zoo and Rock Creek Park. In other words, as expected, it's in a very nice neighborhood on "The Other Side Of The Park". These folks better watch their backs, cause despite DC's rep as Chocolate City, anyone familiar knows that anything west of 16th St. is lily white. The sight of hundreds of random Negros rolling up on the scene will not doubt have residents hitting that 911 speed dial button. This could get real ugly.

I'm not sayin' Rev. Coates and Co. don't have a valid point here. BET, despite cleaning up their act with slightly better shows this season, still traffics too much crap like Comic View, SOB, and Hell Date. But then again, it's called Black ENTERTAINMENT Television. Not Black EDUCATIONAL Television. When Bob Johnson and Co. accepted that check from Viacom, any semblance of "commitment to the black community" was a wrap, not that it already wasn't. Thus, while I admire the drive, this whole rally seems a proverbial "Day Late and Many Dollars Short" to me. Really, what's the point? Lee sure as hell won't be home. Her neighbors will call the cops, these folks are rallying in a residential neighborhood without permits. Again, it could, and probably will, end badly.

Lee is obviously no dummy. In addition to not being home on the 15th, she took the initiative to write "Enough Is Enough" a letter explaining her side of the story in hopes of stopping all those Negroes from stomping on her petunias and embarrassing her in front of her country club neighbors. I was forwarded this in a PDF (hit me on email if you want it), so excuse the lack of a web link. The letter basically defends BET by saying they have "quality shows" like Baldwin Hills, Bobby Jones Gospel, Keyshia Cole (WTH?), and Meet the Faith. It also states that "BET does not air programming that endorses or condones illegal drugs or gratuitous violence", they have a "list of words that are forbidden on our channel", and they "do not air music videos that contain graphic or excessive sexual activity or violence". Seems like Rev. Coates ain't the only one smokin' here.

Let's be real, BET is still full of trash, but they again, it ain't like I didn't already tell you that. The other night, flipping thru channels, I landed on a show called "American Gangsta". This shit is basically Eyes On The Prize for drug dealers. That new Kanye/T-Pain video with the girl's ass hanging out is all the "excessive sexual activity" you need for proof. The words "Bitch", "Ho", "Nigga", etc. can be heard anyday on "106th and Park". So, there's alot of delusion floating around here from both sides.

Still, I can't really see the point in boycotting Lee. BET, MTV, VH-1, etc. are all corporate behemoths that feed the mothership known as Viacom. You can't really expect anything to change, because all these stations are for-profit entities that have a proven formula of cheap, lowest common denominator programming that's virtually money in the bank. No protest can tame that corporate monster. Maybe, just maybe this approach woulda worked back before BET sold out, but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure Bob Johnson had security around his crib too.

If you want wholesome family entertainment, turn to TV One. If you want your kids to be educated, turn off the TV and take them to the library instead of sitting in the next room watching them "Crank Dat Soulja Boy".

But lame rallies and boycotts seven years after the fact ain't changin' a thing.

Enough Is Enough To Rally Outside Home of BET Executive

Ok, We Get It... OJ Did It... Get Over It Already!!!

It's been what, 15 years or so since that white Bronco sped down the 405? I remember watching this whole spectacle interrupt the NBA Finals that dreary summer so long ago. I never imagined this case would follow me from college, to a Day Job, to marriage, to AverageBaby.

Aparently, the madness ain't endin' no time soon.

Last November, OJ Simpson, the most famous murder defendant in modern history, triggered an outcry and a US publishing scandal when he tried to release a book in which he all but confessed to the crimes of which he was acquitted more than a decade ago.

The families of the victims – his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her lover Ron Goldman – accused the former American football star of trading in blood money with the work, teasingly entitled If I Did It. Once again, they claimed, he had found a way to profit while shielding his vast assets from the $33.5M financial settlement he was ordered by a civil court to pay them.

However, this week – to general astonishment and not a little head-scratching – If I Did It is finally hitting US bookshelves. It is published not by HarperCollins but by a small private company called Beaufort Books. And the whole enterprise, remarkably, is endorsed and managed by Ron Goldman's father Fred.

Here's how it happened. Mr Goldman quickly overcame the disgust he expressed publicly last year and realised that the unpublished manuscript of If I Did It was an asset he could legitimately chase as part of Simpson's unpaid legal settlement.In other words, he decided the publicity the book would give Simpson might be less objectionable if the profits went into his pocket, rather than Simpson's.

I was home sick this afternoon, so I peeped the Goldman's "Buy Our Book, We Need the Cash" Tour make it's stop on where else, Oprah's couch. For those of you who chide Oprah for "catering to middle aged white women", today would be Exhibit A. Not saying I agree, but I understand.

I'm sure we all have our opinions on whether or not OJ "did it". Personally, I think he did, and furthermore, I think he had help. How else could a man with an arthritic knee whack two perfectly healthy people at once? There's also the small matter of the case still not being solved, nor having a single credible suspect since the Clinton Administration. Basically, ya' boy did it.

On the other hand, he also did beat the system. He practically invented the term "lawyer up". Johnny Cochran (RIP) pulled some magic out his ass, and lo an behold, quicker than you can say "Isotoner", the Juice was loose on the 17th hole, and the Goldmans, Browns, and probably 90% of white America have been hella salty ever since.

To this day, I still don't really understand why Negroes were celebrating and Electric Slidin' like we'd just won The Battle For Reparations when he got off. I mean, it ain't like this was Emmitt Smith, or Magic, or even R Kelly, you know, somebody black people actually liked. Honestly, I only knew of OJ from his post-RB days as an Avis pitchman and NBC commentator. I could have, and still could, give less than an eff'.

Despite winning a civil suit of darn near $40M when interest is taken into account, the Goldmans have only seen about $10,000 of this settlement since the Juice's NFL pension is protected. Damn, that Paul Tagliabue is a genius. I bet OJ laughs like a mug every 1st and 15th. Cut. The. Check.

On Oprah, the Goldmans claimed they're not really out for money since after legal fees, they will only make about 17 cents per copy sold. 17 Cents. Really!?!?! Personally, I find this a bit hard to believe. I know a thing or two about publishing contracts (hint) and this smells like a Grand Hu$tle to me.

They're going through a small indy publisher. They own full rights to the book, which is already #8 on the NY Times Bestseller List. Even a novice first time author generally gets about 12-15% of the wholesale price of every book sold, which is about $2 or so for a $15 book. If the attorney's fees are that deep in the cookie jar, then shame on your dumb ass for not hiring Greenburg and Bederman. So please, Ron Goldman, miss me with that bullshit.

Reality is, since they can't hit Juice's 401k and are tired of seeing that hulking Negro on the links everyday, they're strictly on "get rich or die tryin" mode here. By downplaying their potential profits and spinning this as "redemption for their son" the Goldmans are tugging at the emotional purse strings of a White America still looking to even the score that Cochran doled out in 94'. Even the Brown Family agrees, which is why they don't want any part of this sham.

This is purely about money. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Nicole Brown Simpson is crying inside.

Bereaved families have last word as OJ book finally hits the shelves [The Independent]

Mike Vick Would Be Jealous

Two way-under-the-radar NBA arrests in recent weeks have shown exactly why it's so important to hire quality Weed Carriers.

Peep game...

Prosecutors decided not to file marijuana possession charges against Indiana Pacers forward Shawne Williams on Thursday following his arrest this week, but the team suspended him for three games for poor judgment.

The Marion County prosecutor's office said police found marijuana in the vehicle Williams was driving, but felt it couldn't prove the drugs belonged to him.

"Nobody technically had possession, and a passenger claimed it as his," spokesman Matthew Symons of the prosecutor's office said. "It would be difficult to prove beyond a reasonable doubt he (Williams) had the marijuana."

Williams was formally charged Thursday with a misdemeanor count of driving without ever having received a license.

Meanwhile, in Houston...

Houston Rockets player Justin Reed was cleared of misdemeanor marijuana charges Tuesday because others submitted affidavits claiming the drugs, his attorney said.

Reed was arrested on Sept. 4 and charged with possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, which carries a fine from $100 to $250. He posted a $500 bond and was released later that night.

Reed's attorney, Jackson lawyer Dale Danks Jr., told The Associated Press that the Hinds County Sheriff's Department had dismissed the charges Tuesday.

"There were two other individuals arrested in addition to Justin. Both of them admitted the marijuana was theirs and not Justin's, which makes sense because Justin has been drug tested at least 16 times by the NBA and during the four years he was at Ole Miss," Danks said. "He's not a drug user."

Hinds County Sheriff Malcolm McMillin was not immediately available Tuesday for comment. He told The Clarion-Ledger newspaper that the charge was dismissed because "there were affidavits signed by the others arrested that it was their dope."

In the grand scheme of the NBA, these two guys are hardly significant players. In fact, they're both practically expendable 15th men. Hell, I had trouble just finding in-game photos of these twin bamas.

However, when it comes to hiring Weed Carriers, these dudes are All-Stars.

If guys like this, with marginal NBA futures can exercise enough common sense to convince their buddies to take the fall for their drug charges, what does it say about the relative intelligence of Mike Vick, formerly known as the NFL's most marketable player? Vick, as you are well aware, was ratted out by his cousin and homeboys, whom he'd given financing to for their illegal dogfighting scheme.

Thanks to their loose lips, Vick's boys set the Weed Carrying profession back years, but it's good to know there are still loyal soldiers dedicated to the art of coppin' the charge. These guys are truly a credit to their race.

Carmelo Anthony and James Cunningham are smiling inside.

Rockets Justin Reed has misdemeanor drug charges dropped [AP]

Prosecutors won't file marijuana charge against Pacers' Shawne Williams [AP]

The Bizarre Abduction of Megan Williams

There are bad stories, there are ugly stories, then there's stuff like this story from West Virginia that seems like an outtake from the movie Saw II, with a bit of Deliverance mixed in for good measure.

Police have arrested Bobby R. Brewster, 24, his mother Frankie Brewster, 49, both of Big Creek; Alisha Burton, 23, her mother, Karen Burton, 46, both of Chapmanville; Danny J. Combs, 20, of Harts; and George A. Messer, 27, of Chapmanville, in connection with the assault on a Charleston woman, who was raped, stabbed, scalded and forced to eat dog feces during her weeklong captivity in a Logan County trailer. The two people being sought by police are believed to have picked up 23-year-old Megan Williams from Charleston and transported her to Big Creek, where she was held captive in a home for at least a week.

Police are looking for two more people in the torture, beating and sexual assault of a Charleston woman, and the Logan County prosecutor said he believes the woman first met one of her abductors over the Internet.

Besides being sexually assaulted, Williams had been stabbed four times in the left leg and beaten, said Sgt. Sonya Porter of the sheriff’s department. Both of her eyes were black and blue. Her wounds were inflicted at least a week ago, deputies said. During her captivity, the victim was forced to eat rat and dog feces and drink from the toilet, according to a criminal complaint filed in magistrate court. Deputies say Williams was also doused with hot water while being sexually assaulted. The woman also had been choked with a cable cord and her hair cut, the complaint said.

One of those arrested, Karen Burton, is accused of cutting the woman’s ankle with a knife. She used the word nigger in telling Williams she was victimized because she is black, according to the criminal complaint.

Other news accounts mention Megan Williams, the victim, as being "mentally challenged" which only makes this whole situation even worse. I hope the Brewsters and Burtons burn in hell for doing something so heinous to a person that it defies words. Heck, I can't even add anymore to this story, it's just that bad. You know when AverageBro is at a loss for words, it's gotta be bad. Real bad.

I could start up the whole "why isn't this story getting more attention/if the races were reversed" machine, but damn, that record's been skippin.. skippin... skipp..

Bottom line: If you're black in America and over the age of 16, you should catch the pattern by now. Why even bother being surprised anymore?

Thankfully, the police and prosecutors threw the book at these goons, and they will be doing some serious time. It's a miracle that this "anonymous tip" lead to Williams' recovery, or these people might have actually gotten away with murder. I'm sure Rebb'n Al and Co. will be fueling up their charter jets for Charleston as soon as they get wind of this next month (you know they can only follow one big story at a time), but let the record reflect that at least for now, the legal system is doing it's part in making sure these inbred hicks get what's coming to them.

Say a prayer for the Williams family.

James Byrd is crying inside.

Woman tortured for at least a week - FBI Enters Case of Ghastly Abuse [Charleston, WV - Daily Mail]

AverageBro NewsBriefs

Ok, it's another one of those weeks where the Day Job is actually asking for it's money's worth. The nerve of some folks! Anyways, here's all the news that's fit to blog, but not worth a post of it's own.

Poli-TRICKS as Usual

Wendy Cortez (pictured above, since I know you were wondering), the hooker that LA Senator David Vitter "did his business" with is talking. She says he routinely paid for the na-na 2-3 times a week, while he was in New Orleans. This, apparently is not related to similar charges of "johning" that Vitter racked up re: the DC Madame case, which means this dude is pretty much a serial solicitor. Of course, this woman is being paid to say all this, and is only doing so because she has an upcoming spread in Hustler Magazine, so who knows?

Still, I wonder why the Republicans (and Dems) were so quick to bounce Larry Craig for doing essentially the same thing (albeit with a dude), but are noticeably silent about calling for Vitter to resign. Isn't solicitation solicitation, regardless of the gender?

On other notes, Bush finally orders a withdrawal of troops, at least a partial one. Claims war in Iraq is "a victory". Bin Laden and DJ Clue release new mixtape. 9-11 in a joke, but those lives can never be brought back. Barry Obama gets help from Oprah fundraiser, but reality is, unless Hillary Clinton decides to go work for UPS, Barry 4 Prez is dead in the water. It will be Hillary vs Rudy next Fall. I'm already looking at real estate in Ontario.

Not to be outdone in this shameful Festival of Crappy Politicians is Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. I told you a few weeks ago that Kilpatrick and the city were being sued by a couple of former police officers who claim Kilpatrick had them fired when they tried to blow the whistle on his extramarital affairs and connections to a dead stripper whom his wife allegedly caught him with and beat with a bat. Seriously folks, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Well, the jury agreed, awarding the two officers a $6.5M settlement. Kilpatrick, stunned by the verdict, digs right into the book of Disgraced Negro Excuses, and claims that since the jury was mostly white, he never had a chance. Negro Please! Try keepin' it in your pants, and staying away from strippers named Strawberry. Any woman named after a fruit (Cherri, Clementine, and yes, I even knew of a girl named LemonJello once) is bad news from the jump.

Rap Is Outta Control

This shouldn't really be new news to anyone familiar with the rap game, but it seems like these bamas have been seriously kirkin' out lately. I realize I probably just lost 90% of my non-DC readers. Translation: rappers have been acting extra ignorant of late.

The whole Kanye vs 50 thing just turned out to be an elaborate PR stunt just like I expected. For some odd reason, I turned on the TV last night around 6:30 and it just happened to be tuned to BET. Seriously, I didn't plan this. Anyway, the Curtis vs Ye' "battle" turned out to be even more lame than I'd predicted. They didn't even "trade" lip-synched singles. They actually sat on the couch together and complimented each other. It was pretty sickening, honestly, because it shows that even the most gutter level of hip-hop (the battle) has dissolved into a corporate construct to move more units.

As I mentioned before, I've acquired both of these albums already, and on 4th listen, I'd now say "Curtis" isn't as bad as I initially slammed it for being. 50 fans (the few that remain) will enjoy it because it's more of the same. It's not like he's ever made great albums in the past anyway, so it's uneven quality won't disappoint anyone. "Graduation" is still the better of the two, but I think Kayne's "rich-guy Carlton-esque" shtick is wearing thin. It won't be long before people are tired of him too. Still, he should edge 50 (nobody calls him Fiddy except the truly un-hip) in first week sales, but they'll both lose to country crooner Kenney Chesney.

On (un)related notes: Kanye throws another tantrum after he loses all VMA's he was nominated for, 50 nearly electrocutes himself when "makin it rain with fake dollar bills" nearly goes tragically wrong yet again, Trick Daddy gets his ass whipped after actin' the fool at a strip club , and Foxy Brown gets a year in the slammer for just generally being an untalented nuisance. Did I mention she's also pregnant? That child will be "huggin' on his mama from a jail cell. Damnit, we got to do better. Hip Hop IS Dead.

Athletes Are Dumb

This isn't really a new development, but more athletes did dumb stuff this week. Cardinals pitcher turned slugger Rick Ankiel was the feel-good redemption story of a baseball season mired in Barry Bonds (who has disappeared since hitting 756) steroid allegations. The press played this guy up as being a Great American Hero, overcoming injury and personal tragedy, to re-invent himself as a home run hitter. It was an inspirational story. It was heart wrenching. It was full of crap.

Turns out the dude was more than likely roided up the whole time. Just great.

In ignorant NBA news, more players need new/better weed carriers, Gilbert Arenas gets thrown out of his home by his baby moms, and local baller/solicitor Andray Blatche gets assigned to "John School". Damn, would October 31st hurry up and get here already before one of these bamas kills himself?

Oops, too late.

Other Miscellaneous Crap

Rutgers Player Withdraws Imus Suit - I told ya'll a few weeks ago that Rutgers baller Kia Vaughn was a moron for trying to sue Don Imus for defamation of character. Her lawyer said she chose to "focus on her education" instead of going forward with this frivolous BS, and that she wasn't paid off. I say, she must read AvBro. Now get back to those Mikan drills, Kia.

Britney Spears Bombs Horribly at VMAs - Oops, she didn't do it again. Looking bloated and a few steps slow, America's Former Sweetheart seems headed back the the trailer park. Don't call it a comeback.

Janet Jackson "Wardrobe Malfunction" still in court - How is it that Janet's career has been dead since "Damita Jo", but these bamas are still concerned about her flashing a boob 3 years later?

Isaiah Thomas Sexual Harassment Trial Begins in NY - And you thought coaching the Knicks was punishment enough. Freaky Zeke' is accused of excessively hitting on a former community relations staffer. Also alleged in the suit: our favorite point guard/philanthropist Stephon Marbury allegedly had an affair with one of the accuser's co-workers. Well, at least this guy's being generous with spreading the ball(s) around. Give him credit for that much.

Survivor: Beltsville

Yesterday, I told you about Julian McCormick, a local college student who was reported missing, and after a week of being left for dead in a ravine, freed himself from a car, and flagged down a ride to the hospital. We're all very happy this guy is alive, but as more details about the accident that left him stranded surface, I can only say one thing: Julian McCormick is one gully brother.

As Julian McCormick recalls it, he lay in and out of consciousness for eight days and seven nights, hot, sticky and bloody with not a clue as to what day it was or how he ended up trapped in his overturned car at the bottom of a steep embankment in Prince George's County.

To survive, he ate a fish he caught with his hands and used his high-top sneaker to drink water from the creek, the 18-year-old Bowie State University student told his parents.

As Julian McCormick recalls it, he lay in and out of consciousness for eight days and seven nights, hot, sticky and bloody with not a clue as to what day it was or how he ended up trapped in his overturned car at the bottom of a steep embankment in Prince George's County.

To survive, he ate a fish he caught with his hands and used his high-top sneaker to drink water from the creek, the 18-year-old Bowie State University student told his parents.

When he finally was able to muster the strength, he cut his seat belt using a small knife he had in his car, forced his door open and then dragged himself by his elbows, his body racked with pain, 30 feet up to the shoulder of the road hoping that someone would see him and rescue him. Someone did.

Man, does this story have the makings of a made for TV/straight to DVD movie or what? Somebody get the BET Blackbuster Films people on the line.

As I suspected, the family is of course happy that their son was located in one piece, but now that he's safe and sound, someone in the PG County Police department has some splainin' to do.

As their son recovered at Washington Hospital Center yesterday, Peggy and James McCormick tried to piece together the circumstances of their son's disappearance and recovery and questioned why police had not done more to search for him.

And why did police wait days to look for McCormick and then conduct just a 1 1/2 -hour search -- at night, when visibility was limited?

Police categorized McCormick as a "non-critical missing person" because there were no signs of foul play.

"I don't think it was a priority," Peggy McCormick said. Added James McCormick: "He's been there the whole time, less than one mile from home."

Sniff, sniff. That's the smell of a lawsuit being drawn up, and it ain't frivolous.

The PGC Police are saying that since the accident occurred on Federal property, they aren't culpable. I say, B.S. That incompetent squad should have done more than a 90 minute search for that kid. If he didn't have such a strong will to live, this story might have ended quite differently.

Thanks to Julian McCormick, aka: Survivor Beltsville though, this one's headed for a Hollywood ending. I'm already putting it in my Netflix queue.

Bowie Student Trapped 8 Days Details Pain, Survival Tactics [WaPost]

Remain Anonymous Part II (The Sequel)

[Yeah, I know, that's a white dude's silhouette.]

Over the past few weeks, I've begun to reconsider this whole "remain anonymous" credo. Just the other day, my cousin (whose blog I am not going to link to until he puts in 15 posts like I ordered him to) and I were talking about this, and he asked me why I bothered keeping my identity secret. I gave him the obvious answer (ie: why not?) but don't think he was convinced. On second thought, maybe I'm not either. Those of you who've hit me offline to debate this and that already know who I am since I'm too lazy to respond from my alternate email address. I'm still not sold on this, but hey, we'll see. It's under consideration.

I will throw some new stuff out there though. I've had folks ask me how/why/when I blog. I guess they're interesting in knowing the creative process that leads to strokes of genius like this (sike). I can indeed give you that much.

With no further adieu, ladies and gents, Remain Anonymous Part II

How do you choose the topics you blog about?

This one's complicated. I get blog ideas from everywhere. I read lots of other blogs, usually via RSS feed or Feedblitz each morning on my way to work (the BlackBerry Curve is that crack). I also scan 5-6 talk and sports radio stations. All this while braving a stop and go commute and dodging pedestrians. I'll usually scan a few newspapers once I hit the office. Somewhere along the way, an idea clicks. If it doesn't, I just don't post anything. Hey, it happens. This is why somedays I'll post 6 times, other whole weeks, I'll post 2 times. It all adds up to about 30 good posts a month, which I think is a reasonable grind for a guy with a life who isn't living in his mom's basement.

Subject wise, I try to make every post count for something. It doesn't make sense to just echo everyone else's opinion on a topic, so if I see enough others already covering something, I'll punt. I try to shy away from shallow sports, entertainment, or pop culture crap. There's enough blogs that already do this, and do it well. I try to stay in my lane and usually roll with politricks and race stuff.

Since I typically write in a critical manner, I am well aware that I could be branded as a hater. That's fine, cause I don't really care. I'm here to entertain, enlighten, and say the stuff you probably would if you took a moment to sit down and think/write about it.

Why so many links?

One thing I'm really picky about is people being un/mis/underinformed. After all, information is power. Most of us are used to having info forcefed to us in bite-sized, pre-summarized chunks (ie: the news and talk radio). Such media are focused on keeping your attention, so they don't have time to expound on the details (ie: books, newspapers) of a story. Since I don't want to be responsible for putting misinformation out there, I typically overload my story with supporting facts.

This is a two sided coin of course: it usually means people will be steered from your site. Since my goal is to keep you here, look for fewer and fewer links in coming posts.

Where/when are you when you usually blog?

90% of the time, I'm on my Day Job. I only blog over lunch, and since my employer monitors web usage, even then I have to be economical about how much research I do. I usually have the idea in my head long before I pull up the browser. I usually bang out the posts in one take, 5-10 minutes tops. I always spellcheck, but seldom proofread. Who has time for that? On weekends or after hours, I'll post something if time permits (like right now), but with a one year old, and a marriage I'd prefer to remain in, this doesn't happen often.

How many people visit this site daily?

I am really only able to monitor those who visit via the front door (averagebro.blogspot.com), as opposed to via other web links. We've steadily grown from a few dozen hits, to now several hundred a day, but this is hardly scientific since it doesn't account for RSS, Feedblitz, etc. The Feedblitz Daily Digest has over a hundred subscribers. This may not sound too great beside some more popular blogs, but 0 to 1,000 average hits in just 6 months isn't bad at all. Of course, by telling a friend to tell a friend, joining the Daily Digest, or emailing stories of interest, you can only help this number grow.

Why does the color scheme/layout keep changing?

I'm picky about stuff like that. I change the wallpaper and color scheme on my laptop probably 4-5 times a day. Clearly, I get tired of looking at the same thing all the time. A few weeks ago, I flipped thru the channels and saw the Cleveland Browns playing a preseason game. 5 minutes later, the site was Brown and Orange. Then there was the Carolina Panthers phase. I don't even know what colors I currently have up there. I just change this stuff on a whim. Soon, I'll settle on a banner image and color scheme I can stick with. Until I change my mind again of course.

What exactly IS your Day Job?

Yes, I have a legit day job that pay the bills. No, this ain't one of them gigs like Tommy from "Martin" where I go into a nondescript suburban building and perform some mysterious task. I'm a engineer for a large software company. It's what I went to college for, I'm good at it, and for a legal slave, they compensate me quite well if I must say so. So, no, this blog ain't some 'MySpace Rapper/D-League Baller/Ghetto Dreamz/Get Rich Or Die Tryin' type of Grand Hu$tle. It's a creative outlet for a guy who doesn't get many of them on his Day Job. Simple and plain.

What are your longterm ideas for this site?

Honestly, at first I just wanted a creative outlet. Now, I am thinking about how to parlay the success of this site into a paying side gig as a regular contributor to either another website or some print medium under my Government Name. I'm already working on this, like I said, you'll know when it happens. As always, you can help by telling a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend.

187!!!

I was trying to wait until the next milestone post (#200) to do my next "we blowin' up!" post, but hey, why wait? And for the record, Google images didn't bring back the most politically correct images when I did a search for "187", so I just grabbed the PA State Highway sign above. What was I thinking?

Anyways, if you've been with us from Day One (hardly 6 months ago, I know), you've watched this blog, and by proxy, this blogger grow and evolve. Honestly, I started this thing because I was enamored with my favorite bloggers, [||] and wanted to see if I could pull the same thing off. Like most good intentions, this was better in idea than execution. My first few posts were stilted, meandering, sometimes just plain bad. It was a clear example of a guy trying to find his voice, while still trying to say something substantial to the world. I think I was maybe a bit overly concerned with who is reading on the daily. I mean, my boss, my sister in law, and my mom, among others, hang out here on the regular. You don't wanna say some ole' ish' that's outta character.

Eventually though, it occurred to me that being anonymous means I can truly be myself. The folks who know me love me anyway, or at least tolerate me, so really, why not just let it fly? Quicker than you can say "filth phlarn filth", I undid the shackles and let the expletives fly. The result was critical acclaim, and a readership that's going through the roof. You can't really beat that, right?

So, despite the initial kinks, this thing seems to be working. It ain't broke, it don't need fixin'.

On that note, this message marks the beginning of The First Annual AverageBro Readership Drive™. I've been telling ya'll for weeks now I have something big up my sleeve. Real big, trust me. To put myself in position for this, I need your help. If you're feeling what you read here, put 7 on it. That means tell 7 friends, or fwd the Daily Digest (link in upper right) to 7 friends. Or email (see that little envelope below) 7. Either way, spread the word, and help ya' boy out.

I'll let you know where this is going soon, so just stay tuned, and keep dropping loads of comments.

Holla.

Drive-By Activism and The Jena Six

You may have noticed I haven't had much to say about the Jena Six other than the occasional drop in unrelated posts. I'm very well educated on the issue, but I just don't really have much to add to this story that isn't already being said elsewhere. Sorry, it beez like that sometimes.

Anyways, not a day goes by that I don't get forwarded some email about the latest "urban cause celebre" that "isn't getting enough press" and that we need to "get behind to show them we care". Such past examples are the Tom Joyner & Tavis vs CompUSA kerfuffle with non-urban dictates, Kemba Smith, Shaquanda Cotton, Genarlow Wilson, Marcus Dixon, and now of course, the Jena Six.

Is this story a travesty of justice? Sure it is. And I'm happy to see that the story is now gaining media attention. Rebb'n Al finally saw a way to milk it for some badly needed publicity. On his show today, caller after caller dialed in expressing the need to put pressure on this DA to drop the charges like Rocky. Reverend Al has clearly found his next Imus. Jesse too. Heck, they even convinced Michael Baisden to take a break from his tired assed relationship show to dedicate some airtime to it.

Eventually, the media attention will cause the DA to drop the case, the kids will get off, the cameras will leave town, Rebb'n Al -n- Jesse will find another small town to pimp for publicity, and your inbox will return to getting filled with more Beyonce and Jay-Z in Ibiza photos or some such nonsense. Quite simply, life will go back to normal.

The problem with such "drive-by activism" is that by always being in a passive, reactive mode, we as a whole don't do the work necessary to change the very conditions that often lead to such problems in the first place. It's a whole lot easier to forward a bunch of emails than it is to work with kids (other than your own) on understanding how racism works in this world and how to proactively prepare themselves for it.

I respect the many people who intervene on the behalf of the many victims and causes above, but by jumping from reactive cause to reactive cause, we all let ourselves off the hook. Sure, you feel a little better for a moment, but what's the lasting effect? And furthermore, when we can only get upset about the many cases in which white people do us wrong (police shootings, institutional racism, etc.), what does it say about the many more cases in which we do each other wrong? Black men kill other black men like it's an XBox game, yet I seldom see widespread uproar about this. Why? 8,000 black people were killed, mostly by other blacks in this US in 2005. Why do we know more about the Jena Six than this chilling statistic, and why aren't we doing more to prevent such atrocities?

I hate sounding like a bootleg John McWhorter (believe me, I do), but sometimes, the black "woe is me, I'm a victim" mentality does alot more to hold us back than anybody outside our communities ever could. And reality is, those other folks who are harming us will continue to, cause hell, we don't even care about ourselves. Why should they?

I know you guys come here for whimsical stories and an occasional laugh, but for real, when does joke time end, and "building time" begin?

I have a challenge for each and every woman reading this email: challenge your husband/boyfriend/significant other/baby dad/occasional weekend jump-on to become a mentor, tutor, or coach TODAY! This isn't hard, just tell them to Google the words "tutor" "mentor" or "coach" and the name of their hometown. In 5 minutes, they could sign up to help some of these black males avoid being the next statistic.

Okay, I'll save you the Google, since I know that's a convenient excuse. Here goes.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of America

100 Black Men of America

America's Promise Alliance

Mentoring.Org

If you're in the DC Area, I'm gonna help you even more. Tell your man to join ME (yes, I'm already signed up), and the dozens of other black men in the University of Maryland's MIMAUE Mentoring Program. Signing up is easy, the time commitment isn't that intrusive, and they can help me and others who care proactively steer the next generation of black men in the right direction, as opposed to forwarding an email about them 10 years from now.

And ladies, if you throw all this easy-to-follow info out there and your man still has no interest in helping, do YOUR part and don't give him any until he signs up. I'm dead serious about this.

All jokes aside, I hope you made it through this rambling rant. If you did, I challenge each of you to greater action than pressing a fwd button. Roll up your sleeves, give some of your personal time, and do something.

I'm stepping off my box of Irish Spring now.

The Curious Case of The Missing Black Male College Student

If you've followed this site for any period of time, you know it really pisses me off that when black people go missing, the media attention is seldom (never?) as broad as it is for missing whites. Case after case has proven this bias. Chandra Levy. Jessie Davis. Elizabeth Smart.

So what other conclusion am I to make when a black male college student goes missing on a road I travel everyday and I only hear about it when he's found?

A college student who was missing for more than a week before he was found on the side of a Prince George's County [MD] road Saturday is in good condition at a hospital, but his brother said yesterday that family members won't coax him for details about what happened until he has recovered.

Julian McCormick, 18, disappeared Sept. 1 after he left Bowie State University, where he is a first-year student, en route to his girlfriend's dorm at the University of Maryland in College Park. He never showed up, and his family and friends began a massive search that ended about 6 p.m. Saturday when a passenger in a car noticed him lying next to a guardrail near Powder Mill and Soil Conservation roads, close to the Baltimore-Washington Parkway near Beltsville.

McCormick's Honda Civic was found upside down in a deep creek bed that runs under the road where he was found. His father, James McCormick told reporters Saturday that it took his son more than a week to force open the driver's side door and escape. Authorities have not revealed the extent of McCormick's injuries, and many questions remain about how the 6-foot, 175-pound student survived last week's potentially deadly heat without much food or water in a cramped front seat.

First and foremost, thank God that this brother didn't give up. Being trapped in a car at the bottom of a ravine, without food for an entire week, yet freeing yourself and living to tell about it is the ultimate in gully. This brother is truly blessed. He's the true definition of a "survivor".

But what does it say that in an area full of affluent blacks, in the media capitol (this is DC) of the free world, that a young man from a well-to-do family, without a jail record, who is in college, trying to better himself, barely registers a blip even on local media outlets, let alone national?

For the record, the local news did report on this story, but a 2 minute featurette isn't enough. I watch NBC-4 every evening, and read the Post daily, yet I didn't hear a word about this story until the guy was found.

I suspect this is perhaps just as much of an issue with the police than the media. The family immediately reported his absence to the authorities, but since he is over 18 and has no history of disappearance, the police would not classify him as a "critical missing person". What kinda bullsh*t is that? Common sense (to me at least) would dictate that such a person going missing would make this case critical. The fact that this occurred in a majority black, moderately affluent (PG County is the richest majority black enclave in the US) county makes the lack of police (and subsequent media) attention even more puzzling. PG Police Chief Melvin High was a lot of explaining to do. The family basically had to do much of the searching, and push for media attention on their own.

This whole story stinks. Considering the fact that I heard more about that missing BYU student last week than I kid lying face down in a creek just 10 miles from my house, I can't help but feel very, very sick to my stomach.

An maybe I'll consider getting that GPS chip implanted in AverageBaby's neck while he's still young. Reality is, if he turns up missing, I damn sure ain't gettin' any help finding him. He better find himself.

Father: Missing Student Was in Car Wreck [WaPost]

AverageBro Goes To the Movies: Rush Hour 3

[With an infant, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]

Sometimes sequels are good. Rocky II. Terminator 2. Spiderman 2. All perfectly good movies. Next Friday wasn't too bad either.

Unfortunately, the 3rd time isn't the charm for Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, and Co. By recycling the same high wire minstrel show in Rush Hour 3, they clearly have reached the point of diminishing returns.

When RH3 begins, James Carter (Tucker) has been relegated to traffic cop, and Inspector Lee (Chan) is now the bodyguard for his friend Ambassador Han, the former Consul from the first film. When Han is nearly killed in an assassination attempt, Carter and Lee inexplicably head off to Paris to hunt down the murderers and derail a plan for world domination. If you're not already losing interest, you're not alone.

I won't bother with the rest of the plot. If you've seen the first two movies you already know that Lee and Carter will fall out at some point, reconcile, pull off some logic defying stunts, and solve the crime, plus get the girl in the end. Nothing new here.

Unfortunately, neither are the same lame stereotypes played up in this film. Carter is as sex crazed and birdbrained as ever. I thought that just maybe a 6 year gap between movies and Tucker's subsequent re-tracing of his African roots would have maybe somehow lead to a more nuanced character. Wrong. Bug eyed and foot shuffling as always, Tucker would be right at home on VH1. Stepin Fetchit would be proud.

Lee's broken English karate master act is growing thin too. Apparently the Chinese know this: they were so tired of the stereotype that they banned the movie. From the whole damn country.

If only Americans were so wise. On the other hand, considering how this one's fared at the box office compared to the first two, maybe I'm underestimating us.

Please Chris and Jackie, spare us more sequels.

Final Verdict: Wait for Netflix. 2 Stars (Out of 5)

Rush Hour Official Website

Mike Nifong Is More Hardbody Than Nicole Richie

But not by much.

Well, you knew that former Duke lacrosse rape case fabricator/DA Mike Nifong was gonna do some hard time. At the very least, I figured he'd get a Pair Hilton sized sentence for his tomfoolery.

Nah, more like Nicole Richie.

Disgraced former District Attorney Mike Nifong reported to the Durham County Jail at 8:45 a.m. to serve a one-day sentence. Last week a judge sentenced Nifong to 24 hours behind bars after finding him guilty of lying in court during the Duke lacrosse case.

The disbarred district attorney was further disgraced when a judge found him guilty of criminal contempt of court for withholding DNA evidence during the Duke lacrosse investigation and then lying about it to the court.

Nifong, who spent nearly 30 years of his life prosecuting people and putting them behind bars, is now the one imprisoned. He turned himself into officials this morning just before 9 a.m.

I lost track of this case over the past few weeks, so I can't really understand why his sentence is so light. Yes, he's been disbarred, and his next job will probably get him familiar with the term "paper or plastic?", but still this cat nearly sent three innocent young men to prison. Let's not forget, Mike never even spoke to the alleged victim (who turned out to be little more than a coked up stripper. Sorry, ya'll, the truth, however belated, still hurts) before charging these guys. Luckily, since they're rich, and have resources, they were able to "lawyer up", and "beat them charges like Rocky".

Still, 24 hours though? Really?! This man basically pandered to the black community for re-election, nearly transfers three students to Pen State, and barely gets one day behind bars? Please!

Mike Nifong should be sentenced to a whole month in the same cells as the countless other people he's probably unfairly convicted over the years. Lost in the shuffle here is that if Nifong did this once, he probably did it twice, if not 20 times. Those victims might not have had the money or wherewithal to beproperly represented. Undoubtedly, there are some unhappy campers at Central Prison right now. Mike Nifong should be washing their draws.

The three victims won't be victims much longer. Part of me wondered why they weren't "going harder" on Nifong during the press conferences after they were freed. I mean, after all, he's the sole reason why they were arraigned in the first place. I would have come out that mug' tryin' to swing on somebody.

Their composure wasn't without reason, however. These dudes are in the process of suing the City of Durham for $30 million dollars. Damn!

So, when Hillside High School doesn't have books next Fall, we'll know why. Something about this whole episode just seems so, so wrong.

Don't drop the Camay, Mike.

Former DA Nifong Reports To Jail [NBC 17]

50 and Kanye Ain't The Only Ones Droppin' On Sept. 11th

Guess who's back?

Osama bin Laden plans a new video to be released in the coming days ahead of the sixth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks in what would be the first new images of the terror mastermind in nearly three years, al-Qaida's media arm announced Thursday.

The al-Qaida leader has not appeared in new video footage since Oct. 29, 2004, and he has not put out a new audiotape in more than a year.

One difference in his appearance was immediately obvious. The announcement had a still photo from the upcoming video, showing bin Laden addressing the camera, his beard fully black. In his past videos, bin Laden's beard was almost entirely gray with dark streaks.During his silence, his deputy, Egyptian-born Ayman al-Zawahri, has frequently issued videos and audiotapes.

Al-Qaida has regularly produced new messages around the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. In 2006, al-Zawahri called on Muslims to attack the U.S. for jailing militant cleric Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman. But the fact that bin Laden is delivering the message is significant, he said. Whether the message will indicate a potential attack will depend on what bin Laden says.

Damn, this dude drops more tapes than DJ Drama.

While the world is fixated on Kanghey vs Fiddy, it's easy to forget that just 6 years ago, this happened.

Anyways (cause I forget quickly myself), Kanye and 50 not only will both drop albums on the 11th, they're both appear in a "battle" on BET's 106th and Park that same day to cross-promote their new albums. But since both these guys are studio thugs, it won't really be a "battle" per se.

Rapper Kanye West has accepted 50 Cent's challenge to appear live on BET's countdown show 106 & Park on Tuesday, September 11, the day both of their highly anticipated albums are released.

Terrence and Rocsi will host a "battle" during the show, where 50 Cent will perform singles from his upcoming album Curtis, while Kanye West will perform songs from his upcoming effort, Graduation.

ESPN's Stuart Scott will deliver commentary and a statistical breakdown of both 50 Cent and Kanye West.

Man, is this what hip hop's come to? The two guys are gonna "battle", by lip synching radio-edits of their current singles. Yeah, that's real gangsta.

For the record, I've already "acquired" both albums, and Kanye is the winner by far. "Curtis" is just more of the same "kill a nigga, do a broad, buy some fly sh*t" that we've come to expect from 50. "Graduation", on the other hand, is a pop album par excellence. It's the sort of edgy, experimental album Diddy tried to pull off with "Press Play", but of course, Diddy doesn't have any real discernable talent other than extreme impregnation. Cause he can't stop, won't stop... payin' that child support. Eh Eh. Take that, take that. [||]

Still a televised "battle" that consists of trading singles is pretty L.A.M.E.

KRS-One and MC Shan are crying inside.

Groups: Bin Laden plans video on 9/11 [AP]

Kanye Accepts 50's Challenge; Will Appear On 106 & Park [AllHipHop]

We R' Da' Champions!!

No, that isn't me kissing the trophy, but I do look somewhat similar.
A few weeks back, I asked you kind folks to consider voting for AverageBro in the 2007 Black Weblog Awards. Since this blog's only really been around 5 months, I figured this was a long shot. After all, I'm a newbie, and I haven't exactly been as proactive with spreading the word about this this blog as I should be. So, I figured I had a snowball's chance of winning this thing.

Not so fast.

AverageBro didn't garner enough popular votes to win the coveted "Blog to Watch" award (congrats to RealTalkNY), but obviously we're doing something right here, because out of more than 7,000 nominations, we were selected as the winner via the equally (more?) important Judges' Vote. So, in a roundabout way, the people have spoken. AvBro is Official!

Keep it locked here in the coming months. I've got some BIG things coming soon to this blog. I hope you'll continue with me, enjoying the ride, on this journey.

In the meantime, tell a friend or 12 if you're feelin' what we're putting down here on the daily. You can always add us to your RSS readers, email articles (that little envelope below) to your peeps, leave comments, send AvBro an email, or join our Daily Email Digest (link above on right) just in case you've got one of those Day Jobs that doesn't allow you much Internet time (believe me, I know the pain).

Either way, stick with us, we're goin' places. Top of the World, or at least the Blogosphere.

2007 Black Weblog Awards Winners

The iPhone Is a Grand Hu$tle

Sometimes it pays to be on the cutting edge of new technological advances. Other times, it just costs.

Apple slashed the price of its top iPhone by $200 Wednesday to bolster holiday sales, but also angered loyal customers who paid top dollar in the gadget's first 10 weeks on the market. It also updated its iPod media players, introducing a model with a touch screen and other iPhone features.

The 8-gigabyte iPhone will be $399, $200 cheaper than the same model when it went on sale in June. The 4-gigabyte iPhone, which sold for $399, will be phased out. By comparison, the new touch-screen iPods will start at $299.

So, all the hipsters and tech geeks that just had to have this thing when it dropped are looking really silly (and pissed) right now. Yes, you had the (brief) opportunity to floss with a killer app for 2 months, but was it really worth the extra $200 and countless bugs you had to tolerate in the process? I doubt it.

Like BluRay videos, BlueTooth headsets, PlayStation 3's, Xbox 360s, Motorola Razr phones, and seemingly every other "must have" gadget that dropped in recent years, this whole iPhone phenomenon was nothing more than a Grand Hu$tle. People always are willing to pay a premium, even for an unstable product "just to show other people they ain't up on this". This Kanye-ish consumer attitude is something marketers and PR people feed with omnipresent news articles, ridonculous product placement, and other ubiquitous promotions that push the human psyche toward the "I need that... Now!" impulse that defies logic.

Simply put: any moron should know to not buy the first iteration of any technological advance. If you're just willing to wait awhile, you can usually get the same product for cheaper, and in a more reliable and stable iteration. Waiting also usually ensures you aren't buying the "next big thing" that soon proves to be obsolete. Anyone who remembers such "must have phenomenons" as Betamax VCR's, MSN WebTV, ColecoVision, OS/2, eBooks, and laser disc players understands this mantra.

Just. Wait.

Of course, sometimes waiting doesn't pay off either. I personally fought the urge to give in to the iPod phenomenon for darn near 6 years. I owned some smaller, cheaper MP3 players that didn't work well and eventually I realized I needed to just fork over the $249 for the Video iPod. Reluctantly, I gave in and became a cord-carrying member of the Apple Evil Empire™. In doing so, I finally understood why everyone is so fanatical about iPod in the first place. The iPod Video is the consummate "killer app": Easy to use, well designed, and customizable. I finally felt like a member of the "in-crowd".

I've been more than happy with my purchase, but lo and behold, Steve Jobs and Co. just found another way to make me second-guess that decision.

Also Wednesday, Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled updated iPods, including the version with a touch-sensitive screen, built-in wireless Internet access and a Safari Web browser. Unlike an iPhone, it can't make or receive phone calls. The iPod Touch allows users to download songs wirelessly, and, eventually, will let people sample and buy digital tunes from any Starbucks in the United States that offers Wi-Fi Internet access.

The iPod Touch is less than a third of an inch thick and can be used for storing photos, music, videos and other digital data. It features the same 3.5-inch, touch-screen display as the iPhone, on which light finger touches allow the user to scroll through menus, and two fingers are used to resize pictures.

An 8-gigabyte iPod Touch will cost $299. A 16-gigabyte version will cost $399.

Well ain't that a 'B'? So now, despite waiting 6 years and buying the latest and greatest King of All iPods (at the time), my 40GB iPod Video is now about as relevant as a Members Only jacket.

You just gotta love the sheer nerve of Steve Jobs, with his iconic black mock neck and smart guy glasses. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll just wait another 6 years till this iPod Touch drops to $99.

iPhone now $200 cheaper [Seattle Times]

Eddie Griffin vs Earl Graves : N-Words Please

I'm sure the old guard NAACP'ers will consider this a victory in the fight for bourgeois decency. Me? Not so much.

Eddie Griffin thought he'd shock the swells at a big Black Enterprise event over the weekend by littering his act with N-words, but the comic was the one who got the real jolt when the mag's owner gonged his routine, and tossed him off the stage!

Rev. Al Sharpton tells TMZ that Griffin took the stage as the headliner and did his best Michael Richards impression, blistering the mostly African-American crowd with a barrage of N-bombs, and wailing, "Why are some black leaders telling us to stop using the N word?"

Griffin's mike was promptly cut, and Black Enterprise owner/publisher Earl Graves stomped on stage and proclaimed, "We ... will not allow our culture to go backwards ... We will pay Mr. Griffin all that we owe him but we will not allow him to finish the show if that's the way he's going to talk." Oh, snap!

The crowd gave Graves a standing ovation -- and Rev. Al, speaking the next day at the event, gave Graves props for his axing of Griffin. A rep for Griffin had no comment.

You could look at this two ways. Griffin, speaking at a corporate sponsored event, should have known much better than using the word "nigga" (sorry, why even bother dressing it up as "The N-Word"? It still means the same thing.) in front of such a stuffy audience. Maybe a comedic genius like Dick Gregory could have gotten away with it, but a minstrel like Griffin, who wasn't funny before Undercover Brother, and hasn't been funny since, can't pull off such a stunt.

On other hand, who the hell did Earl Graves and Company think they were hiring? Byron Allen? Wayne Brady? Sinbad? By going for a "name" instead of using common sense, they first put themselves in a trick bag, and then want to proclaim themselves as some sort of victors in the annals of Black Crusading.

Making a mistake isn't a victory. Admitting one, which Graves has yet to do, is.

Negroes please!

By failing to exercise even a nominal amount of common sense, both sides make themselves look like pure ingrates. In this post-Imus world, such oversensitivity only undermines legitimate pushes for more decent media representations of black culture.

Reginald Lewis and Red Foxx crying inside.

Griffin Dropped for Dropping N-Bomb

AvBro Newsbriefs: Hollyweird Edition

All the news that's fit to print, but not worthy of it's own post.
Shaq Files For Divorce

Shaquille O'Neal just filed for divorce from his wife (of 5 years and 4 kids) Shaunie, citing that the marriage is "irretrievably broken," or some such nonsense. Rumor has it that Shaunie had a side-piece of her own and was messing with Daddy Diesel's money. Honestly, I can't say I saw this one coming. Shaunie has been more visible than the average baller's wife. They had that memorable episode of MTV Cribs, and she's even done some reporting for Entertainment Tonight/Access/Extra/whatever it's called. They certainly looked happy, but then again, anyone in the know is aware of Shaq's extracurriculars.

The entire chapter in Superhead's book. The admitted lies about sleeping with Venus AND Serena Williams, and Cindy Crawford. And of course the time, just last Spring, when my cousin, a law student at "The U" told me he tried to holler at her on South Beach, saying she "reminded him of his wife". What a pickup line. Dude is alleged to have a flock of paid off mistresses and illegit kids strewn around the country. I guess the only real surprise is that he's the one filing.

This is usually indicative of a man with a bulletproof pre-nup, which makes sense, considering Shaunie was married (w/child) to a church deacon when Shaq met her. I'm not making this stuff up, folks. Rumor has it Shaunie was cheating with her personal trainer and stashing boatloads of money away for a rainy day. Prenup or not, the child support Shaq will have to pay is going to set some new records. Apparently, Shaq just wants his freedom since he "requested that the kids live with Shaunie", and that he receive "liberal rights of visitation".

Somebody get Karrine Steffans on speed dial.

This is just ugly all around folks, and once again proof of my Baller's Theory: Till you're retired from the game and The Game, get yourself fixed. [||]

Who woulda thought Kobe (who once famously ratted on Shaq's extra martial affairs and payoffs) would outlast The Diesel in the game of marriage? Strange stuff.

Halle Berry Finally Knocked Up

I'm certainly happy that Halle Berry is expecting. For a woman with such a painful past, being able to finally conceive at age 41 is no doubt cause for elation.

I'm amazed that when the AP did their ludicrous "Black Women Dating White Men" article a few weeks back they neglected to mention Berry as a prime example. After a lifetime of dating and marrying brothers, Halle caught the swirl with some no-name Canadian model (aka: K-Fed 2K7), and seems happy. It's confirmed that this boyfriend is the father (chi-ching!). While getting Halle Berry knocked up is suppsoedly a black man's dream, personally I could care less about the race of the Dad. Halle seems to have finally found happiness, and that's all that matters.

On the other hand, isn't it just a little bit unsettling that Halle Berry, yes, that Halle Berry, is still just somebody's babymama!??!

Robert Sylvester Kelly Is The Luckiest Man Alive

Despite a mountain of evidence, R. Kelly still won't be going to trial anytime soon. The long delayed trial was to begin September 17th in Chicago, but lo and behold, the judge (who obviously liked "Step In the Name of Love" far more than I did) postponed it indefinitely.

This case has been a joke from the beginning. With a full 25 minutes of video evidence, you'd think a conviction would be automatic, but a comedy of errors (judge falls off a ladder, prosecutor gets pregnant, other cases supersede on docket, a merry-go-round of defense attorneys) has caused Kelly's Day of Judgement to drag on for nearly 5 years now. The girl, the real victim here, also has repeatedly refused to testify, and is damn near 30 years old by now.

There's a good chance your favorite Sangin' Child Molester will never see a day in jail for what he did, and frankly, that's pretty damn sad.

"I Love New York: Season 2" Is On The Way

I Love New York 2 debuts on Vh1 October 8th, and I still don't know if my conscience will allow me to watch this BS again. After all, let's not forget that the show was revealed as a complete and utter scam. New York and her "mom" aren't ever related, and are only 5 years separated in age.

After discovering this inconvenient factoid, how a "reality show", even a loosely scripted one like this, can still be interested is beyond me. Then again, New Age Minstrelsy like ILNY, Flavor of Love, Making Da' Band, and Charm School aren't reflective of reality anyhow, and I doubt anyone watched them for anything other than a quick diversion from bills, screaming kids, and The Bush Administration. You know, real "reality". That being the case, that the show is a complete fabrication probably doesn't matter to most, and won't effect it's ratings.

I guess I've just convinced myself to set the Tivo for October 8th.

Irrefutable Proof That Middle America Is Stupid

How else do you explain the proliferation of these new ads from a group called Freedom's Watch?

The other day, I'm sitting here with AverageBaby, watching the evening news (getting him started early), when the commercial below runs. I couldn't believe my eyes, so of course I had to hit rewind on the Tivo a few times to soak it all in. [||]

Can you watch all 30 seconds of this ad without getting re-acquainted with your breakfast? Go head, give it a try...



...I need some Maalox.

If that's not a blatant example of pro-military subliminal advertising, I don't know what is. A quick Google of this "Freedom's Watch" group lead, rather quickly might I add, to a familiar suspect.

Those of you who weren't asleep at the wheel during G.W. Bush:Term 1 likely remember White House press secretary/talking head/stooge Ari Fleisher. Dude stepped down just before Bush's 2nd term to "spend more time with his family". Anyone with half a brain knows that "spend more time with my family" is just politician speak for either "I can't possibly be re-elected" or "it's time to get caked up". At least current press secretary Tony Snow is being 100% honest about his intentions. Cut the check.

Anyways, part of Fleisher's "spending more time with family" meant establishing Freedom's Watch, which is nothing more than a propaganda machine to boost the Bush administration's awful approval rating for our ongoing unjustified war in Iraq, and maybe salvage the possibility of another right wing Prez in 08'. The ads are all similar in nature, featuring veterans and their families (albeit, not a single minority, not even a token Hispanic) expressing the need to "close the deal" and "not pull out", because "they attacked us". Baloney.

Furthermore, the ads end with an 877 number and an urge to "call Congress and tell them not to pull out". The only problem here is, Congress is in DC. The area code here is 202, not 877. As you might guess, this whole thing is just a hoax. You call the number and are asked some questions about your support for war, hit up for a donation to this sham of a special interest group, and are then forwarded to the Congressional switchboard. Brilliant.

Anyone with half a brain knows there's no link between 9-11 and Iraq by now. Hell, even the gubbment themselves admitted as much. Anyone still believing that this was justification enough for war is either a sucker, or just an uninformed voter. Unfortunately, as you're well aware by now, our country has quite a few of either category in abundance. And these thinly veiled "pro-war" ads are nothing more than pandering to this middle-American populace.

For those of you who think Rudy 4 Prez is far fetched, think again. Ad agencies are smart, and I'm sure they wouldn't be blowing millions of dollars on such a campaign if it hadn't tested well with focus groups and been proven effective.

Then again, considering the plummeting numbers of black recruits after that insulting "it's time for me to be the man" Army ad, maybe I'm underestimating us all.

This country never ceases to amaze.

Sorry, But I'm (Somewhat) With BET On This One

With all the issues confronting black America (the achievement gap, crime, murder, and yes, literacy), I can't believe that CNN actually dedicated 15 minutes of time to something so trivial as a satirical cartoon. Hmmm, I guess the Jena Six, the epidemic of black murders this summer, or actually locating Stepha Henry are just not interesting enough subjects.

The whole Read A Book satire has been out there for months, and apparently, BET decided to pick the video up and start airing it during their afternoon programming targeted to kids (ie: the 5ive, 106th and Park). This, in and of itself is wrong, since most kids watching this clip will probably miss the point entirely. Perhaps BET thought that airing the video would impress parents to cut off the TV themselves and encourage their kids to read more. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was a lazy attempt to get critics of their "all booty all the time" programming off their backs. Either way, no representative for BET is featured in this piece, so your guess is as good as mine. It does seem a wee bit odd that BET is essentially showing a video that pokes fun at the very images it is most responsible for presenting to the world, no? That's like PETA hosting dogfights. Strange indeed.

The cartoonists here should be applauded for trying to present a different take on the same ole' "booty booty booty rockin' everywhere" version of music videos. They seem to be reasonably well educated and well meaning gentlemen. But BET is in the business of marketing to tweens. I recently read that many radio program directors won't even consider a song for addition to station playlists unless it has a melody that a 5 year old can mimic. That probably explains this whole phenomenon of ringtone rap, a lowest common denominator version of music isn't helping us as a people in the least bit.

The other day, I watched, with equal parts amazement and horror, as my 10 year old nephew did song after song and dance after dance of "Ay Bay Bay", "Soulja Boy", "Lip Gloss", "Pop Lock and Drop It", and "Chicken Noodle Soup". He's an honor student from a solid two parent household, but I can't help but wonder how hour, upon hour of ingesting this stuff is going to eventually effect him.

In my opinion (cause that's what you're here for), the creators threw parents a bone with "Read a Book". Correctly used, this satire could be the ultimate teachable moment. It ain't their fault that the message isn't getting across. That's where parenting itself comes into play.

Peep the videos and judge for yourself.

Part 1: CNN Investigates



I wonder if the parents in this "focus group" bother monitoring their kids' intake of BET. Why such a stink over such satire when far more offensive (and pointless) videos are airing everyday? Maybe this was some creative editing, since these folks seem on the up and up, but I wonder if the whole concept of "just don't let your kids watch BET unsupervised" ever occurred to these folks.

Part 2: The Creators Strike Back



For the record, I mostly agree with what Paul Porter is saying here. There's not really anything wrong with the cartoon itself, it's when it's played. This is indeed satire, intended to embarrass and shame adults into cutting off the radio and actually picking up a book. BET is indeed completely wrong for playing the video during 106th and Park, since it's core audience (middle schoolers) can't rightly distinguish the difference between satire and reality.

The "Read A Book" video in it's entirety [R-Rated language].



Note: if you're confused by my comments above, join the crowd. Point blank, I don't really know how to feel about this one.

Still, I couldn't help but notice that this whole three-ring circus just happened to be lead by CNN's most prominent black anchor (the completely clueless Tony Harris). I guess the notorious code switcher herself, Soledad O'Brien wasn't available. Still, divide and conquer still rules the day. And the ratings.

Max Robinson is crying inside.

U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!

...I'm proud to be an American.. and I'll gladly stand up... blah blah blah... God Bless The U.S.A... basketball team that is!

I'm sure hardly anyone noticed, given it's relegation to 3rd tier cable, but I couldn't help but be overjoyed as the USA absolutely "got all up in" Argentina to win the otherwise pointless FIBA Americas Championship in Vegas tonight. Sure, the tournament determines qualifiers for the Olympics next summer in Beijing, but more than anything else, it reasserts our dominance in a sport we didn't create, but might as well have. Furthermore, given the fact that the USA isn't really #1 in much of anything that matters nowadays, it's good to see us reassert ourselves in one thing we do really well: kicking other countries asses! Royally.

Sure, I know some haters, probably the same folks who blamed hip hop and by extension black culture in general for that awful performance in Athens, will point out the fact that these other countries were missing some key players. That would be true. Argentina for example was missing NBA standouts Manu Ginobilli, Andrea Noccioni, and 3-4 others dudes whose names won't clear spellchecker. But reality is, the USA doesn't have all it's big guns out there either. Next summer, big names like Dwyane Wade, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, and maybe DC's own Gilbert Arenas will be healthy and could play if needed. Call it even.

Either way, if you're one of those rare beings who can appreciate total and complete domination, this was the tournament for you. Over the course of the 10-0 record in the tourney, Team USA, lead by Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, and Carmello Anthony, won by an average of nearly 40ppg. They dominated the glass. The drained 3's. They played suffocating "D". They didn't grab their crotches a la Shawn Kemp in 96'. [||] And they dunked with such reckless abandon that you almost felt bad for their opponents. Almost.

This country is far from perfect. Let's not forget we're still in the midst of an unjustified war. Foreclosures rates are going through the roof. Politicians can't keep it in their pants. Mind of Mencia is still on the air. Again, we've got our flaws.

But it's good to know that when we come together and work as a team, anything is possible. Thanks for a proper end to the Summer guys! U-S-A!

Enjoy there highlights of one of several ass-kickings this week, courtesy of The Poor Man's Tivo.



James scores U.S.-record 31 points, leads Americans over Argentina 118-81 for FIBA title [AP]