Tuesday, September 18, 2007

D. Wade, Keep It In Your Pants

Another day, another philandering NBA player getting hit with divorce papers. What's new?!?

If you see some women wandering the streets of Miami this weekend with that money-hungry look in their eyes, it's probably because Shaq isn't the only bachelor in town - Dwyane Wade is also getting divorced, so sayeth Miami Sports Blog. Nobody who parties in Miami is surprised by this. The couple has been together for quite some time ... so he'll probably be out $10 million.
I know some of you wonder why I even bother running such stories as this, or Shaq's divorce, or Travis Henry's 19 babies by 21 baby mamas. I guess it just totally and completely perplexes me why men like this with so much to lose financially keep on getting married knowing they don't really want to be in the first place. Or maybe they're getting married and just realizing shortly thereafter that they don't want to be. In either event, in most cases, any person who partakes in the nighttime scene in any major city can probably tell you a million stories of married ballers, athletes, politicians, and assorted celebrities who seem to live a double life.

Wade has always been presented to us as some sort of guy next door who made good, who married his baby mom who was down with him from Day One, and who doted over his young son. All of these things are probably true, but I've got folks in South Florida who can tell me opposite stories about him at this club or that with this model or that one. It's not really a new thing: Evander Holyfield, Shaq, MJ, Magic Johnson, etc. have all been marketed in the same manner and subsequently outed.

I guess what really gets me is the thin line these guys toe. Are they getting married because it's good for business (a married family guy image is easier to market)? If so, don't you more or less undo your financial gains when your wife inevitably gets tired of the cheating and cleans you out for half your wealth? It seems pretty counterproductive to me.

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until someone with the financial means contacts me about making this a legitimate business: Anyone with big money and big libido should get fixed and stay single. It keeps things nice and simple. No messy divorces, no custody battles, no allegations about bi-affairs with guys who "play doctors on TV". Life could be so easy.

[Note to all newbies: Don't misread the message. AvBro endorses marital fidelity and raising one's own kids. He endorses it so much he actually, well, does it himself.]

Maybe that's why I admire Wilt Chamberlain so much. [||] Now there's a guy who was true to himself. He was all about scoring (on and off court), not matrimony or unwanted kids. He set all sorts of records that will probably never be shattered. 100 points dropped. 25,000 women served. He never married. He had one child, long after he'd retired, whom he supported financially until his untimely demise. He wrote entertaining books. He did bad movies. He seldom dunked and even lead the league in assists one year. He should be your favorite baller's role model.

Instead, since these dudes nowadays can't be true to who they are, we end up with more and more stories like this, when we should just be talking about sports.

Note to D-Wade, and all other NBA ballers: Keep it in your pants.

Arthur Ashe is crying inside.

Is Dwyane Wade's Marriage Over? [AOL Sports]

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