Tuesday, August 21, 2007

White Chicks Rule

Snort coke. Drive drunk. Steal a car. Chase a former acquaintance. Wreck a car. Flee the scene of the crime. Blame "the black kid". Ditch rehab.

This might sound like the rap sheet of your favorite female rapper, but au contraire, it's just a basic party weekend for falling starlet Lindsay Lohan.

True to form, despite her coke fueled Memoral Day bust, Lohan may get off scott free.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ there is a "strong possibility" the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office will NOT file felony charges against Lindsay Lohan in connection with her two DUI arrests.

We're told charges may be filed tomorrow, and the D.A. is leaning toward rejecting three possible felonies. Sources say the D.A. almost certainly will not file cocaine charges in connection with her DUI bust Memorial Day weekend in Beverly Hills.

As for her July 24 arrest in Santa Monica, the D.A. could charge her with felony cocaine possession, and bringing cocaine into a correctional facility -- also a felony. But we're told that the D.A. is inclined not to file those felony charges either.

That basically leaves misdemeanor DUI charges for both incidents. If Lohan is found guilty of both, she'd have to serve a minimum of four days in jail, and that beats prison, baby!
Damn. To be (bleached) blond, (silicone enhanced) busty, and (starvation diet) thin. What. A. Life.

Lohan and fellow (peroxide) blonde starlets like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton just prove time and time again that White Women's Coochie is the world's most powerful commodity, since it's more or less what all white men (who rule the world) value most. I could go off on some "if they were black chicks" tangent, but really, what's the point? Black men barely value black women.

Oddly enough, I don't really, really blame any of these women for their moronic actions. They, like Mike Vick, Mike Tyson, etc. are simple products of their environments. Lohan's parents are dysfunctional drunkards who have depended on her for every meal and mortgage payment since she was 9. Spears is a trailer trash chick done good (for awhile at least). Hilton's air of privilege and entitlement was no doubt fostered by parents who probably had better things to do than raise kids, and instead let her raise herself with a trust fund and gold card. This broad didn't even finish high school.

We'd be crazy to expect anything better. Seriously.

Lohan May Dodge the World's Biggest Bullet [TMZ]

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