Friday, August 24, 2007

White Chicks Rule: Take II


Further proof that blonds (okay white ones... or at least somewhat white ones) do indeed have more fun.

Nicole Richie was released from jail Thursday after serving 82 minutes of a four-day sentence for driving under the influence of drugs.

The reality show star, who checked into a women's jail at 3:15 p.m., was released at 4:37 p.m. "based on her sentence and federal guidelines," Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy Maribel Rizo said without elaborating.

Under a federal court mandate to manage jail overcrowding, arrestees sentenced to 30 days or less for a nonviolent offense are usually released within 12 hours, the sheriff's department said in a statement.

Under the guidelines, Richie was "treated in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence," the statement said.

Richie, 25, was originally sentenced to 96 hours in jail, but that was reduced to 90 hours because of time served when she was arrested.
Not to be outdone, Lindsay Blohan copped a light sentence of her own.
Lindsay Lohan reached a plea deal Thursday on misdemeanor drunken driving and cocaine charges that calls for her to spend one day in jail, serve 10 days of community service and complete a drug treatment program.

She was also placed on 36 months probation, is required to complete an 18-month alcohol education program, pay hundreds of dollars in fines and must complete a three-day county coroner program in which she'll visit a morgue and talk to victims of drunken drivers.

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs," Lohan said in a statement released by publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik.

She said she did things she was ashamed of. "I broke the law and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case."
Ahh, to be white (or at least half in Richie's case) in America. Williams Sonoma. Dockers. Jamba Juice. The Rolling Stones. Wayne Brady. The perks are endless.

Of course, just in case you were somehow unaware of just how great it is to be white, the fine folks at the AP and MTV took the liberty of scientifically proving it.
From their relationships to their jobs to their money even from they time they first roll out of bed young white Americans are happier with life than their minority counterparts.

According to an extensive survey of 1,280 people ages 13-24 by The Associated Press and MTV, 72 percent of whites say they are happy with life in general, compared with 51 percent of Hispanics and 56 percent of blacks.
Wow, I always suspected that with racial profiling, police brutality, bell curves, and Karl Rove, things were pretty shitty for me because I'm black. Thanks to The Associated Press and MTV for rubbing my nose in this shitty existence of mine.

Preciate' it, dude.

Nicole Richie quickly sprung from jail [AP]

Lohan gets 1 day in jail on DUI plea [AP]

Poll: White Youths Happier Than Others [ABC]

1 AverageComments™:

Anonymous said...

82 minutes for doing something that actually put HUMAN LIVES in danger juxtaposed to Vick's 5(?) years, loss of career, vilification, etc for the death of some DOGS! Are you kidding me right now?!?!?

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