Monday, August 13, 2007

Goodbye and Good Riddance, Karl Rove

The old saying goes "better late than never". I don't really know if this applies to today's surprise decision of White House Senior Advisor Karl Rove to step down. The damage has long since been done.

Karl Rove, the architect of President Bush's two national campaigns and his most prominent adviser through 6-1/2 tumultuous years in the White House, will resign at month's end and leave politics, a White House spokeswoman said this morning.

Rove, who holds the titles of deputy chief of staff and senior adviser, has been talking about finding the right time to depart for a year, colleagues said, and decided he had to either leave now or remain through the end of the presidency.

"Obviously it's a big loss to us," White House spokeswoman Dana M. Perino said this morning. "He's a great colleague, a good friend, and a brilliant mind. He will be greatly missed. But we know he wouldn't be going if he wasn't sure this was the right time to be giving more to his family, his wife Darby and their son. He will continue to be one of the president's greatest friends."
I love it how people drop the "F" bomb, when they're being unceremoniously dumped. How come people only "want to spend more time with their family" when shit goes downhill? Why do folks nevar, evar, want to spent more time with their family when their careers are poppin'? It's always when a dude is about to get canned that spending more time with lil' Johnny is suddenly so important. Could we please retire this overused and nevar sincere cliche for good?
Rove, 56, who escaped indictment in the CIA leak case, has been under scrutiny by the new Democratic Congress for his role in the firings of U.S. attorneys and in a series of political briefings provided to various agencies across government. Citing executive privilege, he defied a subpoena and refused to show up for a congressional hearing just two weeks ago on the allegedly improper use by White House aides of Republican National Committee email accounts. Fellow Bush advisers have said they believe the congressional probes have been aimed in part at driving Rove out.
As much logical sense as the fear of Congressional subpoena makes on paper, reality is, Rove and Dick Cheney hardly sweat bullets behind this sorta stuff. As masterminds of all things evil for the past 7 years, these dudes are the hardbodiest non-Negroes on the planet.

Even if he somehow miraculously ended up getting convicted, Karl Rove would run Club-Fed like he's Suge Knight. He would have mickyficky's in there washin' his draws. The man is just gully like that.

Our country should breathe a sign of relief today. I hate to overstate this, but Karl Rove leaving office is like a brutal anal rape finally coming to a merciful end. Yes, the psychic scars will last a lifetime, but at least the painful penetration is finally over. You can now clean yourself up and attempt to move on with your life.

Not that I can relate to the above example personally, of course. Insert obligatory "no homo", "pause", or "nullus" here.

To anyone who may have been the actual victim of such an assault, I apologize to seemingly trivializing your situation, but hey, that's pretty much what I feel like this guy's done to our country since 01'.

On a far lighter but related note, Rove's legacy as one of the greatest MC's of all time lives on in perpetuity, thanks to Poor Man's Tivo. Take that Rico Sauve and DJ Unk.

BTW, who exactly is the cheese eating Negro shuckin' and jivin' behind MC Rove on the stage? Have some dignity and grow a pair, black man. I'm sure your grandkids are really proud of that.

Armstrong Williams is crying inside.

Karl Rove, Adviser to President Bush, to Resign [WashingtonPost]

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