Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Tango is a Simp

I'm sure few of you will admit it, but I will say what you're too embarassed to: I LOVE NEW YORK!!!

No, not the city, and definitely not the Too Wong Foo-ish namesake, but VH1's show is a guilty pleasure that's high on my Tivo Season Pass priority list. I, like probably millions of others (Neilsen numbers are coming, and I'm sure they'll be through the roof) tuned in to watch Tango Wango beat out Chance (adult Crack Babies aren't cute) for New York's affections.

This was somewhat of a surprise, since Chance and New York would have made for a far better spinoff (which is inevitable). Chance will be fine. His Stallionaires rap dreams are going nowhere (took a listen to some of their MySpace tracks... hot garbage), but VH1 has the mistrel reality show genre on lock, so you can best believe we'll see him again, maybe with his own show ("One More Chance" "Second Chance", "Take a Chance", the possibilities are endless, and moronic) in the near future.

Outside the obviously staged male catfights (Tango is a punk, big as his arms are, all he needed to do was choke Chance out), the biggest development/suprise on the finale was Tango proposing to New York at the end of the show. This is just wrong on so many levels. New York hasn't been completely confirmed as 100% woman. Chance had just taken his turn sleeping with her the night before. Her mom is literally the devil. She talked cash-sh*t about Tango's mom on TV. She punks him at every turn, slapping off hats, and throwing tantrums. She's commented about "the winner's lack of manhood" in interviews before the show's finale. She looks like Lou Rawls.

Any dude who would consider marrying her is a simp. Pure and simple.

I don't know if we'll see a followup series on these two, but I wish Tango Wango luck. Marriage is hard enough when you're marrying a sane woman. He probably ain't even marryin' a woman, let alone sane.

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